What rights do i have...

[emalou90]

not sure if have posted in the correct area but here goes..

i've split from my partner a while ago now. im struggling financially. we;ve been apart for 3 months and he has given me £200 for the last two months to use for amelia, but i had to ask for it as i was struggling, there was no offer of money before i asked and when i did ask, he made a big deal saying how he couldnt really afford it. (telling me all the ins and outs of his bills, in turn making me feel bad)
im living with my parents and trying my hardest to save to move out but im finding it so hard. along with the constant battle of wondering wether my ex wants to actually see his daughter or not.. i always have to suggest the idea of him coming to see her.
i had a flat lined up last week and it all fell through because the agents told me i needed £500 more than i had. which i couldnt afford so had to let the flat go. which results me in staying at my parents even longer.

i dont think it's fair how he gets to stay in 'OUR' home all happy with everything he needs and im struggling.
my name is on the mortgage...
now somehow i have some rights don't i?
i seriously need money to get myself back on my feet. i have no savings. so i see that getting some money from the house is my only option.

can anyone help with some advice??? ive hit a brick wall xx

 

[gemabee]

go to cab now huni!
if ur name is on the mortgage then the house is half urs... if u have custody of the child then u are entitled to be in the home.
u need to go to the csa as well hun... he legally has to pay for his child nd they can force him to pay u regularly.

i know its hard but i don't understand how people get this far along without gettin the csa / law involved... i thought it was common sense!

i'm not havin a go. at all hun! its jus theres so many people askin things like this, we need to take these men for everything they owe us nd their children!

its the law!

 

[wiiwidow]

Hiya, you have my sympathy, that sounds really tough I am afraid I don't know much about this having not been in your situation, but I know the CSA website is very good, in fact there is a calculator that can show you (if you know how much your ex earns) how much he should be paying you - once they get involved.https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp

The expectation is though that you should be in the home as you are the carer for your child. I don't as I said know the ins and outs, but I'm SURE that you should be the one with more rights in this instance because there are two of you in need and just one if him. I.e. you have the child - so you need to get his butt out of that house and get some money from him once a month, straight from his pay packet! Good luck x

 

[emalou90]

go to cab now huni!
if ur name is on the mortgage then the house is half urs... if u have custody of the child then u are entitled to be in the home.
u need to go to the csa as well hun... he legally has to pay for his child nd they can force him to pay u regularly.

i know its hard but i don't understand how people get this far along without gettin the csa / law involved... i thought it was common sense!

i'm not havin a go. at all hun! its jus theres so many people askin things like this, we need to take these men for everything they owe us nd their children!

its the law!

thanks hun, yeah i know you're not having a go, my friends have said worse things to me!! haha its just so daunting. i never thought i'd be in this situation.

the worse thing is that i have no savings. grr.
and anyway i dont want to live in that house.. so even though the law says i should, i dont want too.. therefore surely i need to get it sold? x

 

[emalou90]

Hiya, you have my sympathy, that sounds really tough I am afraid I don't know much about this having not been in your situation, but I know the CSA website is very good, in fact there is a calculator that can show you (if you know how much your ex earns) how much he should be paying you - once they get involved.https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp

The expectation is though that you should be in the home as you are the carer for your child. I don't as I said know the ins and outs, but I'm SURE that you should be the one with more rights in this instance because there are two of you in need and just one if him. I.e. you have the child - so you need to get his butt out of that house and get some money from him once a month, straight from his pay packet! Good luck x

thank you sweet.
he earns like 25k so he's quite well off. where as i'm screwed. its not fair at all he tries to make me feel bad when i ask for money for HIS daughter.

bah! men! haha x

 

[wiiwidow]

Hiya, you have my sympathy, that sounds really tough I am afraid I don't know much about this having not been in your situation, but I know the CSA website is very good, in fact there is a calculator that can show you (if you know how much your ex earns) how much he should be paying you - once they get involved.https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp

The expectation is though that you should be in the home as you are the carer for your child. I don't as I said know the ins and outs, but I'm SURE that you should be the one with more rights in this instance because there are two of you in need and just one if him. I.e. you have the child - so you need to get his butt out of that house and get some money from him once a month, straight from his pay packet! Good luck x

thank you sweet.
he earns like 25k so he's quite well off. where as i'm screwed. its not fair at all he tries to make me feel bad when i ask for money for HIS daughter.

bah! men! haha x

Ah yes, well the joy of having the CSA involved is that you won't have to ask him for the money, it is taken directly from his pay packet and given to you...as it should be! So get on to it...it'll make you feel better just getting the ball rolling! I have a friend on the other side of the coin, her bf pays CSA for a child from a one night stand, so I'm sorry if he can pay out nearly £250 a month for this child, then your ex can damn well cough up too.

As for the house, if you don't want to live there, I think you can still force it to be sold especially if your name is on the mortgage...that's were all your savings are and you need them! He also needs to ensure that you have a home to bring up your child in, so...again get on to CAB today and get the ball rolling with your rights! Good Luck xx

 

[emalou90]

Hiya, you have my sympathy, that sounds really tough I am afraid I don't know much about this having not been in your situation, but I know the CSA website is very good, in fact there is a calculator that can show you (if you know how much your ex earns) how much he should be paying you - once they get involved.https://secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/calculate-maintenance.asp

The expectation is though that you should be in the home as you are the carer for your child. I don't as I said know the ins and outs, but I'm SURE that you should be the one with more rights in this instance because there are two of you in need and just one if him. I.e. you have the child - so you need to get his butt out of that house and get some money from him once a month, straight from his pay packet! Good luck x

thank you sweet.
he earns like 25k so he's quite well off. where as i'm screwed. its not fair at all he tries to make me feel bad when i ask for money for HIS daughter.

bah! men! haha x

Ah yes, well the joy of having the CSA involved is that you won't have to ask him for the money, it is taken directly from his pay packet and given to you...as it should be! So get on to it...it'll make you feel better just getting the ball rolling! I have a friend on the other side of the coin, her bf pays CSA for a child from a one night stand, so I'm sorry if he can pay out nearly £250 a month for this child, then your ex can damn well cough up too.

As for the house, if you don't want to live there, I think you can still force it to be sold especially if your name is on the mortgage...that's were all your savings are and you need them! He also needs to ensure that you have a home to bring up your child in, so...again get on to CAB today and get the ball rolling with your rights! Good Luck xx

well he's certainly got money alright, hes gone out and put on facebook hes bought lots of new running gear and thats not cheap! what a d**k. sorry its just frustrating.
i mean.. he just thinks that because im living with my parents its fine. wwell its not. im sharing a room with amelia and its not easy.
im going to a housing appointment at 2:30 today so hopefully i can catch the CAB people aswell as they shut at 3pm.

thanks again xxx

 

[gemabee]

hey hun u need to get a lawyer nd force him to sell the house... u might not get any help from the housin association because u technically own a house already.
u can't jus sit back nd let him get away with this hun... u need to get on top of this now!
he'll have to back pay u child support nd sell the house... u will end up so much better off... do not let him keep livin his life like he has no responsibilites... grrrr men like him make me so angry!!
keep us updated on how ur gettin on hun.
xx

 

[emalou90]

thanks gemabee, you're so much help. i like to hear peoples opinnions on my situation.

tbh i think im being walked all over.. yet is still have to support our child.
i gave him plenty of chances to think about his decision ''i want my old life back, i'd be happier without you' (thats what he said!) but he still chose to make it impossible to live with him anymore.

so the fact of the matter is.. he made us leave. why would anyone stay where they arent wanted?
grr blokes.

my dad told me to get a solicitor a few weeks back.. so i think im going to have too now. hes had like almost 3 months now to get his act together. xx

 

[jen1604]

I would get a solicitor hon

You're the one looking after the baby,you need the house most,if you don't want to live there and your name is on the mortgage you should be entitled to sell the house.

Hope it all turns out well x