what should i say?? *update pg 2*

[SophiasMummy]

ok so me and sophias dad only communicate by text and when we absolutly have to. anyway since i had sophia i text him when she was in the nnu after birth so he could come see her (he didnt) and the other day was told she would have to stay in hospital again as they thought she had a really serious infection that couldve been life threatning so i text him to tel him as i thought he should know and thought maybe he would want to come see her esp if she is ill. all i got back from him was asking if it was serious and when i sed yes he asked me to keep him updated

anyway to the point ive had enough of it now and dont see the point in me teling him things if hes having nothing to do with her he hasnt even seen her yet and shes already 5 weeks old. hes really annoying me now and i want to ask him if he even wants anything to do with her and if he does then he has to actually come to see her not just get updates from me and if hes not going to come see her then im not going to tell him anything anymore. but i want to put it nicely so i dont seem like im being a b***h and start any arguments. any ideas on what i should write to him????

 

[chels24uk]

im not sure theres a NICE way to put it, but it does need be said! if at least to give him a smack of reality as its not fair on you or baby. Just text him and say something like "Sophia is 5 weeks old and you havent seen her yet. I just want to know if you actually want to be a dad, if so, we need to talk about access. If not, I need to know so we can move on" something like that?

 

[MummyJade]

I would just word it how you want to word it.. wouldnt worry me bout being nice, he didnt even bother seeing your LO when she was really ill... imo the nice would of stopped there xx

 

[lal]

agreed, it sounds like he is just (barely) responding to you, I'd just stop contacting him. Let him know how it feels when someone disappears on you.

 

[scottishgal89]

I would stop contacting him with no explanation.
If he was interested, he'd come to you.
His loss.
Just concentrate on you and your little girl. Forget him.
Hope she's okay!

 

[shyfox1988]

huni, if i was you i would just tell him straight,
he either makes an effort and sees and be's a dad to her or he leaves your lives totally, its not fair on you for you to keep updating him on how she is when he should be the one there knowing whats going on without being told. Sophia and you both deserve to be treated better then that

hope she gets better soon, always here if u need someone to talk to xXx

 

[SophiasMummy]

huni, if i was you i would just tell him straight,
he either makes an effort and sees and be's a dad to her or he leaves your lives totally, its not fair on you for you to keep updating him on how she is when he should be the one there knowing whats going on without being told. Sophia and you both deserve to be treated better then that

hope she gets better soon, always here if u need someone to talk to xXx

thanx i know it seems stupid to keep giving him chances with her but i grew up without my dad and with a horrid step dad and i just want her to be able to have i different upbringing from me where she has her real dad there. but whether that will happen or not depends on him. im hoping he will buck his ideas up else i have a feeling we will end up in a big argument after all the stuff he used to say about always being a proper dad

 

[shyfox1988]

huni, if i was you i would just tell him straight,
he either makes an effort and sees and be's a dad to her or he leaves your lives totally, its not fair on you for you to keep updating him on how she is when he should be the one there knowing whats going on without being told. Sophia and you both deserve to be treated better then that

hope she gets better soon, always here if u need someone to talk to xXx

thanx i know it seems stupid to keep giving him chances with her but i grew up without my dad and with a horrid step dad and i just want her to be able to have i different upbringing from me where she has her real dad there. but whether that will happen or not depends on him. im hoping he will buck his ideas up else i have a feeling we will end up in a big argument after all the stuff he used to say about always being a proper dad

awww huni its not stupid giving him chances we all cant help wanting the best for our kiddies and wanting them to have a dad that sticks around and is there for them, but no matter how hard we try we can not control and make there dads be there if they cant be bothered, we can only do so much to try and get them to be there but if hes not making the effort then thats his loss, because your daughter deserves better then that.

i really hope for yours and sophia's sake he bucks his ideas up if not then its his loss because he is the one missing out on so much because they grow and change so quickly in the first year its unbelievable. Well sounds like he needs to do what he preaches and start being a proper dad to his daughter, because if he doesnt then all he is, is just a sperm doner.

try not to let it get you down huni, you've done all you can, now its his time to man up fingers crossed that happens soon xXx

 

[xarlenex]

I'd say nothing. Don't text to let him know anything and wait to see if he actually bothers himself. I done this once with kyles dad, weeks later nothing. I went mad with him! Now he's a bit better. Hope Sophia gets better soon x

 

[carolyn_s]

I would stop contacting him with no explanation.
If he was interested, he'd come to you.
His loss.
Just concentrate on you and your little girl. Forget him.
Hope she's okay!

^^ WSS

 

[18singlemom2b]

better to have no dad right now than a bad dad who doesn't care

i'm sure you can give her all the love in the world along with any other people in your life who are there for you

dont worry about being nice, tell him how it is then stop filling him in on what's going on in your lives. you guys deserve better.

 

[SophiasMummy]

so i text him today finally and he sed he does want to be a dad to her and asked when he can see her. so we have made arrangements for him to come see her thursday. im glad he sed he wants to be a part of her life and i hope this will be the start of him actually bothering to spend time with her so she can get to know him.

 

[scottishgal89]

I hope he gets his act together for your LO

 

[shyfox1988]

awww fingers crossed he finally is bucking his ideas up xXx