What the *#@%?

[BabyKey]

Sorry for the almost profanity. Frustration has reached an all time high. I knew I wasn't
Pregnant this cycle, but sometimes when you feel nothing, you actually are. My best friend told me she and her DH are expecting. I am so excited for them! My DH started acting weird about it. He didn't even call to congratulate. I asked him why and he said it was bc we haven't yet..... I thought that would have been my rxn, but I am so excited.

What I don't get is DH said he wanted to go get tested (while drinking) to make sure everything is ok with him. I was so excited I have been doing almost everything in my power to get my body ready for this. DH still likes to smoke weed. From what I've heard his will spin in circles and have no clue where to go. With that being said, I asked him not to smoke for one month and he laughed. He says every pill and vitamin I take is my decision. He pretty much broke me down on day 3 of my cycle. How are we supposed to deal with not getting preg, friends getting preg and our AF all at the same time?

 

[Lea05x]

Hi

Sorry to see you are angry....could you maybe suggest to DH that he cuts down on smoking weed for one month? As opposed to cutting it out altogether? He might find this abit more easier. Also maybe suggest that around Ovulation he doesnt smoke weed? Just for that one week maybe...? Im not really sure the affects weed can have I myself and OH dont smoke but didnt want to read and run x

 

[MegnJoe]

I dont want to read and run, and Im sorry youre upset. You might try asking him, How important is this to you? How important is smoking versus bringing life into this world? I am not sure about the effects, I thought it just made low mobility, so they dont swim very well, but maybe they do swim in circles! You deal with it one day at a time, and keeping up hope. You might want to also consider since his weed smoking is such a large deal to him, how much of this will take place around your pregnancy and your baby? Good luck- I hope he can hold off for at least your 3 most fertile days. Then I hope he can stop and not do it around your pregnancy or future baby.

 

[ourfate]

My DH smoked weed a lot before we started to think about TTC, i pretty much tried to scare him into not doing it
i got this from a web site

"The verdict is still out on this one. Some people say that the active ingredient in marijuana (THC) lowers testosterone levels, which may decrease sperm counts. Others say that pot can disrupt a woman's ovulation. But there hasn't been any solid or convincing scientific research that proves either way whether smoking marijuana affects fertility in men or women.",

my DH has been really good about it, only did it once in the 8 months, but he said it got easier for him and doesnt even want to now, so maybe try scaring him into stopping! might work for you. it did for me!!
good luck!

 

[Stinas]

Men are a big pain in the ass....plain and simple!
When TTC we do almost all the work and when we ask them to do one simple thing...all hell breaks loose lol

I agree with the other ladies. Ask him to cut it down around ovulation time...a week before and the week of...then he can do what he needs to do.
Tell him you are doing all these things to help with the process of making a baby and he cant do one thing...then throw in a guilt trip..."are you even serious about having a baby? or is this all a joke to you?" and throw in a tear or two....it will work like a charm. hehe
Good luck and hang in there!

 

[BabyKey]

Thanks to everyone who responded. I really appreciate it. Very good advice. We talked about it again and I brought up the idea of him cutting back during the most important days. He said he would be willing to do that. He isn't a crazy smoker or anything like that, just at night when he gets home from work. Sorry if I seemed a little crazy. Just feel alone in it sometimes even though dh wants it too. Babydust to all!!!!!

 

[MegnJoe]

We all feel alone in it sometimes, thats why we are here, for support. Best of luck hun

 

[Toucansofsoda]

Does he want children as much as you?

 

[karenlyn]

With how upset he is that your friends conceived before you, it sounds like he really wants this! Men are funny, though... so reluctant to make sacrifices.

Glad you got him to agree to cut down when it really counts. Nobody needs confused sperm bumping into their uterine wall, with no idea where to go or what they should be doing...!

Here's an idea! Maybe paint him a picture of his confused and unmanly sperm bumping into things (unwilling, of course, to ask for directions) and he'll quit completely, haha.

 

[BabyKey]

Thanks karenlyn. I like your humor.

Toucansofsoda, he does want kids, almost as bad as I do. I think he doesn't realize the work that might be involved.