What to do when your partner wants to use name which you assoicate with someone else?

[purplerose]

My partner and I have been discussing baby names.

We have agreed to have the same initials as my partner as his father has the same initials as did his father. It is a good tradition.

However we have both agreed on not using partner's middle name as our future child's middle name as we know plenty of jerks with that name.

Then lovely partner suggested the middle name to be Michael.

It is a nice name but I cringe as when partner and I broke up briefly last year. I dated a guy with the name Michael and people knew about it in town. The relationship lasted for four months before I dumped him after events took a sour turn and I went back to my partner.

I openly told my partner about Michael so he knows.

When my partner suggested Michael I nearly choked. I told him I was not comfortable with the idea. He kept pushing it saying it is a tradition he wants to keep as it is father's middle name and even his brother's middle name and he has a nephew with this name.

He keeps saying Michael is going to be our son's middle name and he didn't want to hear any more on my objections.

It is more awakard for me as my family and friends knew I was dating the other Michael and they have met him. I don't want them to get the wrong idea I was going to use Michael as a middle name because of "feelings" or "honour" for the other guy.

The only way I told him I would accept the name Michael is if I can spell it the Russian way of Mikhail. Which he seems happy with.

Has anyone else been through the same thing? What have you done?

 

[daneuse27]

"He keeps saying Michael is going to be our son's middle name and didn't want to hear any more on my objections."

I would tell him that you're the one carrying this baby and if you have objections, he's going to listen. Lol

Especially since he's already had the experience of being apart of naming children in the past; this is your first so he should step back and see what kinds of names you like. IMO

Not sure if his ex allowed him to control the naming the way he's trying to do with you but I wouldn't have it.

If I had a negative association with a name, I would not want it as apart of my child's name.

 

[RubyRainbows]

So your OH gets to choose the initials the baby will have... i'm assuming the surname your baby will have will be his... AND now he is demanding a particular middle name, one you will feel awkward about and will be embarrassed to share with family & friends. Seems quite unfair, in my opinion.

I would say no way. You're entitled to some say in your baby's name too.

 

[littlelily]

Suggest Matthew as a traditional alternative?

 

[Buffyx]

So your OH gets to choose the initials the baby will have... i'm assuming the surname your baby will have will be his... AND now he is demanding a particular middle name, one you will feel awkward about and will be embarrassed to share with family & friends. Seems quite unfair, in my opinion.

I would say no way. You're entitled to some say in your baby's name too.

Agree with this completely!