What to say

[Dream.dream]

I didnt expect this until he was way older and im hoping i did the right thing. My sons was playing on the couch and out of the blue we started talking about how mommy and grandma have other names. Then he turns around and asks me whose Daddy my OH is? i told him no ones and he looked at me funny, then he asked me if he was His daddy? i told him no but he loved him very much,


wasnt expecting to have this conversation for a while. His bio dad is a total screw up and ******,. but he still comes to see him. Im wondering if at 3 hes realized that my OH is the one who cooks him dinner and tucks him in and picks him up from daycare, you know parent things, as opposed to someone who comes and plays with him twice a week.

 

[whoops]

FWIW, I think you did the right thing. A friend of a friend is in a similar situation with an older daughter, but hasn't told her that her OH is not her father yet. Her family have been told to keep quiet as well, and they're all dreading the time when the truth comes out, because they're worried that her daughter will blame them for keeping quiet.

When your son gets older, he'll be able to appreciate that your OH has been there for him every day.

 

[jemmie1994]

i think being a dad is about being there for LO rather than just being the one who made them, your son will realize when he's older whose really been there for him your OH sounds more of a father figure then FOB you did the right thing by telling the truth though

 

[Dream.dream]

i wish we could just say hes dad to because he wants to be badly and hes a better parent then my sons bio dad. I think my OH actually deserves the title. but im having trouble deciding where i draw the line. I hope some day my son realizes whos really been there for him. Im thankfull everyday that he has a positive male role model

until then tho it just makes me dread ahving to explain to my son why his "dad" cant take him anywhere alone and only sees him twice a week. if at 3 he can realize that my OH acts like a real dad then whats gunna happen when hes 6 7 8 .