what was i thinking??? MEN who needs them?

[ilovemybabies]

Looking back on everything I really can't understand why I even got with him at all... I have a soon to be 3yr old girl and a 7 month old boy. when I was 5 months preg with my son my husband left... I took him to court for custody of my daughter he said he didn't want anything to do with her. Then when I had my son and took him to court again, he said he wants to be in their lives.. the judge let us work out the terms. he gets the kids on the weekend, they sleep over one night.. That went on for about 3 weeks. He calls to set up meet time to drop kids off to him.. Well he stopped calling. He hasn't seen them in a month. WHAT??!! he wanted to be apart of their lives, now he realizes how hard it is having to take care of 2 babies so he gives up? I can't believe I ever wanted to be with him.. I'm so glad he's gone. I hope he doesn't come back. My kids don't need someone like that in their lives. They need someone to love them and actually want them. It's just a shame that their own father doesn't. whatever. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad we were together, otherwise I wouldn't have my amazing kids.. But sometimes I just wish there were decent men out there and not stupid ones.. He would rather pretend to be a teenager that actually man up and take care of things.. I really just want him to leave and never come back. You can't be a father when you want to.. its an all the time thing. I wish I could find a nice decent man that won't mind being the father that my kids need. It's hard being mommy and daddy but I'll do it for them. They are my whole world. My friends keep telling me I need to go out with them, drinking and partying.. I was never into that even before I had my kids, I'm not going to do that now that I have babies that need me. I have an amazing family that helps me (I live with my parents and 2 younger brothers) But I won't take advantage of them. Even though they told me that if I wanted to go out they would watch the kids. I just don't like leaving them. I would rather be here with them, tuck them in at night, then go out drinking.. My friend told me that wasn't normal that a 25 year old would rather be home than out partying.. Maybe not.. But it is normal for a 25 year old mother!!!! My kids have me, I won't put myself ahead of them ever. thats what their father did. I actually love them and want them to feel safe and secure...

 

[SilasLove]

Im 23 and hear some of the same stuff. I, like you, would much rather be at home with my babes.

Your ex is a pig and your babes are better off then. If he can't make the effort 100% 24/7 365 then he needs to stay away.

Huge to my fellow strong mommy. Keep up the good work.

 

[Laura2919]

I am 25 and even when the kids are with their dad I very rarely go out clubbing. I very rarely go out during the week unless it is to my friends house for dinner and the kids come with me. I don't think it's a bad thing going out if you've got someone to babysit because let's face it we all need some adult time, I have a good family support network too and I am lucky because I do get my mum to have the girls when I need her to.

 

[SilasLove]

My idea of fun is going to see a movie or the casino lol.

 

[emeraldbaby]

I think the fact that you don't want to go out drinking is great. Mature 20 something year olds are a dying breed. Nobody wants to grow up anymore and be responsible, they prefer to be selfish before all else. The children end up damaged from this.
You are a good mother, that is something truly worth being proud of. Nothing else in life will be as precious as your babies.
All the best xx

 

[Jade--x]

I'm 21 and I'd prefer a night in bed with the TV and some food than a night out I'm always being called weird and not normal and that I need to live my life but to me..Being a good mum to my babies IS living my life, and the right way to live it. I made the choice to keep my unplanned baby at 17 and I was always the 'boring' one. Didn't drink didn't smoke even when I turned 18 (which is why everyone was so shocked I had a baby I think).
As for your ex..Your LOs don't need him. Children are really clever..They soon realise who's there for them and who isn't x