What was your familys reaction?

[kiwimama]

I told my mum and sister yesterday and my mum said "why?" When I gave her my reasons, she was silent for awhile then said "well, that's an interesting idea." I didn't say it, but felt like saying, "it's not an idea, it's my ideal birthplan, it's happening." I am giving birth at home as long as it's safe to do so.
So, what was your familys reaction when you told them you were having a homebirth?

 

[kfarb]

Oh, you know. The normal I'll want drugs crap. If things got too negative I'd say to them "No, the only thing I should be hearing out of anyone's mouth about this is encouragement or nothing." and it worked. They all keep their mouths shut now.

 

[bubbles]

I was split on the idea of homebirth for a while and spoke to my mum about it alot. She actually encouraged me to do it as she knew how much I wanted it, I had said to her on a number of occasions that if I knew 100% this was going to be our last baby then there wouldn't be any doubt about a homebirth. DH and I had agreed that if we were having a girl this would be our last baby as we are happy with one of each, so when we found out this LO is a girl it kinda made up my mind. Anyway, my family were really supportive. DHs mum was not happy but didn't say too much (I knew she was against a homebirth) his Dad automatically assumed that if he shouted that I wasn't having one it would change our minds, he's an arse though and I pretty much laughed in his face at his response hehe

 

[milkmachine]

noone i knows cares lol they all come to me for birthing/baby advice so respect my point of view and choices

 

[Farie]

My mum doe ant say a lot (which means she prob doesn't approve) and MIL thinks it's a bit odd but is supportive.
As she said, it's whatever works for us.

Other friends the we're a bit mad!!

 

[Sam292]

My family were hilarious - as soon as i told them, they all separately stated as if they knew it was fact that you are far more likely to die in a home birth. I very calmly told them they were ridiculous and not to present their opinions as fact. After providing them with some real stats they had to eat their words. Still not sure they are entirely happy about it but it is not their choice so it really doesn't matter.

 

[MadamRose]

My family dont know im planning on a homebirth only me and my DH do. The reason we havent told people is one because we know they will all worry as births of my sisters were both complicated, but as i say that doesnt mean mine will be. Plus we think it makes it more special only me and my DH knowing until after she is born. I dont want to tell any family im in labour either i just want to tell everyone after

 

[Sophist]

My family so far has all made comments like, "good for you...but I HAD to be in the hospital because..."

...my labor stopped when I got there and I needed pitocin
...there was no way the baby was going to be born until they broke my water
...my pelvis was too small for a natural delivery
...I would have bled out at home, thank goodness the Doctor knew how to stop my bleeding (after forcibly pulling the placenta out)

And so on. It's amazing how many of them think they would still be pregnant years later, if it weren't for the benevolent doctor doing some intervention to make their birth possible.

My IL's are my favorite though. They say things like, "We know a lady who had 8 kids at home just fine. She lived in a old school bus as a matter of fact because they couldn't afford a house. But then on her 9th baby her husband wasn't around and she and the baby almost died. Having a home birth is risking your life and your child's life. But you do what you think is smart to do..."

 

[kiwimama]

My family so far has all made comments like, "good for you...but I HAD to be in the hospital because..."

...my labor stopped when I got there and I needed pitocin
...there was no way the baby was going to be born until they broke my water
...my pelvis was too small for a natural delivery
...I would have bled out at home, thank goodness the Doctor knew how to stop my bleeding (after forcibly pulling the placenta out)

And so on. It's amazing how many of them think they would still be pregnant years later, if it weren't for the benevolent doctor doing some intervention to make their birth possible.

My IL's are my favorite though. They say things like, "We know a lady who had 8 kids at home just fine. She lived in a old school bus as a matter of fact because they couldn't afford a house. But then on her 9th baby her husband wasn't around and she and the baby almost died. Having a home birth is risking your life and your child's life. But you do what you think is smart to do..."

Can the midwife not artificially break your waters if you are at home??

What I'm most worried about is telling my dad. We rent our house off him and if he disapproves, he may say he won't allow me to have a birthpool in the house and there goes half of my planned relief..

 

[Sophist]

My family so far has all made comments like, "good for you...but I HAD to be in the hospital because..."

...my labor stopped when I got there and I needed pitocin
...there was no way the baby was going to be born until they broke my water
...my pelvis was too small for a natural delivery
...I would have bled out at home, thank goodness the Doctor knew how to stop my bleeding (after forcibly pulling the placenta out)

And so on. It's amazing how many of them think they would still be pregnant years later, if it weren't for the benevolent doctor doing some intervention to make their birth possible.

My IL's are my favorite though. They say things like, "We know a lady who had 8 kids at home just fine. She lived in a old school bus as a matter of fact because they couldn't afford a house. But then on her 9th baby her husband wasn't around and she and the baby almost died. Having a home birth is risking your life and your child's life. But you do what you think is smart to do..."

Can the midwife not artificially break your waters if you are at home??

I would think so, but to be honest I don't know for sure. I find it hard to believe that anyone's water would "never" break and I do know that babies can be born with the bag of waters in tact. It doesn't make rational sense that as your uterus is shrinking that nothing would give, the sac would stay unbroken and the baby would stay in there forever.

 

[trumpetbum]

Last time around my mil was a bit of a nightmare. Quite a few people thought I was crazy but 'someone' phoned my mum and asked her to see if she could change my mind. My mum laughed and said that knowing me, that would make me dig my heels in even more and just to trust my judgement. My dh was a little concerned until I showed him the evidence of its safety. I still get the odd concern from friends but most family have come around, my mil has conceded that she supposes that 'it all turned out alright in the end', but I still think she finds it hard to get her head around. She asked me if they could 'do a cesarean at home??' It took all my willpower not to cry laughing at that one.

 

[trumpetbum]

My family so far has all made comments like, "good for you...but I HAD to be in the hospital because..."

...my labor stopped when I got there and I needed pitocin
...there was no way the baby was going to be born until they broke my water
...my pelvis was too small for a natural delivery
...I would have bled out at home, thank goodness the Doctor knew how to stop my bleeding (after forcibly pulling the placenta out)

And so on. It's amazing how many of them think they would still be pregnant years later, if it weren't for the benevolent doctor doing some intervention to make their birth possible.

My IL's are my favorite though. They say things like, "We know a lady who had 8 kids at home just fine. She lived in a old school bus as a matter of fact because they couldn't afford a house. But then on her 9th baby her husband wasn't around and she and the baby almost died. Having a home birth is risking your life and your child's life. But you do what you think is smart to do..."

Can the midwife not artificially break your waters if you are at home??

What I'm most worried about is telling my dad. We rent our house off him and if he disapproves, he may say he won't allow me to have a birthpool in the house and there goes half of my planned relief..

Yeah, my m/w was going to break mine if I was willing but I felt that baby needed more time to try to get into position.
If you tell your dad about your homebirth, maybe you could omit the part about the birthpool

 

[Rmar]

OH is more than up for it and we have been saving for an indie when we started TTC. My mum was a little strange about the whole thing as she truely believed that my sister would have died if she wasn't in hospital but came around after I explained that she would not have because the cord was loose enough to be unwrapped from her neck and the midwife could have just as easily done it just as the doctor did and the way it was done would not have changed. It turns out her friend had all five of her children at home and my mum only found out about it when I was over for dinner and got talking as we have the same doctor who attended her homebirths. Now she thinks that if an educated woman like her friend chooses it than it must be safe. Wonder why she couldn't see that before.

Anyone else who has a problem can get stuffed. Including the inlaws. They know I want to have a homebirth when I have children because of my job but like to make snide comments about how selfish'those people' are whenever it comes up. Real subtle.

My sister thinks that anyone who doesn't think the idea of test tube babies who grow in a glass incubator and are handed to the parents at the end are a good idea, lol. She doesn't see the point in having to go through it but I just think she has been reading too many sci-fi books. Haha.

 

[Celesse]

My mum was supportive, Abigail was her first grandchild but my mum's sister's daughter (my maternal cousin) had a home birth and my mums sister was there.

My Nana advised me against it...but she has had 8 children, some of whom where born at home. Her advise was to have the first in hospital.

My MIL..... was a little confused about the whole thing and thought it was very very unsafe. 1 of her children died shortly after birth so I understand why she was concerned. MIL was my second birth partner as my mum was so far away we didn't think she would make it to the birth, so I made MIL attend my 36 week appointment so the midwife could put her mind at ease.

I had a range of responses from friends and colleagues. Quite a lot supportive, some a bit bemused by the whole thing. My favourite was: "why do you want to do that, surely its better to go into hospital and have someone else clean up afterwards?"

From testing the water to what the responses will be if I attempt a home VBAC with #2, I'm thinking of avoiding telling anyone. But I have trouble keeping my mouth shut.
And being a transfer I did have the start of "I-told-you-so" conversations, to which I abruptly put a stop to by informing them: "my labour wasn't normal, therefore I safely transferred into hospital at the point at which my labour changed from normal to risky. Had it been normal I have no doubt I could have safely delivered at home"

 

[meow951]

I know i'm early but i wanted a home birth last time so already have my ideas lol

I told mum the other and she was hmm i don't think it's safe. I just said the midwife wouldn't offer it if it wasn't safe. She just said see what she says at your booking appointment.

I told her about that there would be 2 midwifes and they have incubator etc with them. I'm just going to get a whole load information and show her.

I know it's my choice but if she was happy about it i think i would feel more supported, especially if it comes down to the nitty gritty and i want her there as wel as OH.

 

[meow951]

I think a lot of people are just mis informed and don't really know anything about it. Also you only ever hear the horror stories about things don't you!

 

[kfarb]

Oh, you know. The normal I'll want drugs crap. If things got too negative I'd say to them "No, the only thing I should be hearing out of anyone's mouth about this is encouragement or nothing." and it worked. They all keep their mouths shut now.

I'm an idiot. I didn't read the first post well, I thought you just meant a natural birth. THAT'S a big deal here. I can't even imagine if I did a home birth!

 

[CupboardLove]

As soon as any of my friends and family and MIL found out I was having a baby, they all said pretty much the same thing;

"I suppose you'll be wanting to have your baby at home - in one of those water pools with weird hippy music"

That made the whole thing a lot easier!

Everyone knows me as a bit of a hippy, and no one has tried to talk me out of it, they know I have made my mind up and that I do things my own way.

I think my MIL may have asked my OH to convince me to consider going to hospital for the birth, but he will have said there's no point approaching me about it because I know what I want.

Hurray!

I think some people's peace of mind comes from being in a hospital environment, whilst others' comes from being in familiar surroundings.

 

[kiwimama]

gosh I haven't even mentioned my homebirth plans to the in laws yet. Don't like to think about how that's going to go down!!

 

[goddess25]

I have briefly mentioned it and to be honest i dont think they think that i am serious about it.