what would you do about this?

[nikki2512]

Hi everyone i haven't been on for a while but i have a problem and could do with some advice off other mums,my son is 8 years old he is in year 4 at school,well ever since he was around 3 years old he has had a bad phobia of dolls and mannequins he s petrified of them to the point where we cant go clothes shopping with him or museums anything like that and my nieces have to be very understanding and keep dolls away from him,etc.He has been to see a child phycoligist about it too and we have been to see them a few times now and they have talked us through how to work on it slowly to try to overcome his phobia eventually,at the moment we have got to the point where we have a little doll on the shelf i our living room and he will just about let it stay there.Well his teachers at school are also aware of his phobia because obviosly i have had to tell them about it so they can also make sure that he isn't put in any situation at school where he has to go near to dolls or mannequins,well about a mnth ago he came out of school really upset because a girl in his class had bought a doll i to show everyone,and when he got upset and scared one of the teachers assistants in his class instead of just taking him out of class told him"oh don't be silly",well i wasn't happy and the next day i went in and made sure they knew it and they said sorry it won't happen again and they didn't think he was that bad with dolls,they thought it was more mannequins,so said ok fair enough.then on friday he came out of school and i could tell there was something wrong with him but he wouldn't tell me what because he said he didn't want me to go mad and go in or the teacher would be horrible to him,well once we got home i convinced him to tell me,he said that that afternoon in class he felt like he had something in his eye so he was pulling his eyelid down,messing with his eye and the boy sitting next to him said err don't do that and then went to tell one of the teachers telling on him, which just happened to be the one who upset him before and he said she came over to him and said in a nasty voice "how would you like it if i waved a doll in your face",now is it just me or would anyone else be mad about this i have been fuming all weekend about this,i think it is really in appropriate to say this to a 8 year old who has a bad phobia,to me sounding like a threatening way too,also she said it infront of other children in the class who will most probably tease him about it now too,as some of them did before but now they have forgot all about and this stupid cow has just refreshed there memories again,what would you do if this was your son?,i want to go in school tomorrow morning as i am fuming but don't know if to say something to the class teacer and assistant who said it or just go straight to the head teacher,my son doesn't want me to say anything because he says if i do she will be nasty to him,but to me she already has been and i don't think she should get way with it, i could honestly go in there and smack her one i am that mad,would you go in about it? and if so how would you handle it?,and who would you speak to?, i can't just let this lie

 

[Ali33]

How awful for the assistant to do that! I would go over both the assistant and the teacher and go straight to the principal! That is unacceptable! If it were me I would love to go have direct contact with this person however since that wouldn't be the "grown up" thing to do I would definitely see the head of the school. I am sorry he had to go through that. That assistant needs to not be working with kids...

 

[shellie]

I'd also complain to the school. Your poor son, what a horrible thing for her to do, especially in front of other children. xxx

 

[sophxx]

I'd complain how awful of her she's ment to be looking free your son and surpportingbjkm
Not being the class room bully. This time I wouldn't accept sorry for a answer as it oviously hasn' made any difference. Could you speak to the head? X

 

[nikki2512]

thanks every1 for your replies,i have been thinking is it me just over reacting so good to know you all think the same as me,think i will go straight to see the head teacher in the morning i feel like i don't want to even send him into school tomorrow with her in the classroom with him though,i think i will go to the head and maybe ask her if she can get the teacher aswell and tell her as camly as i can that i want her to apoligise to my son or i will be making a complaint to ofsted about her,my son is already not happy at school at the moment as it is because a new boy started in his class this year(who is a little bully) and because my son is so sensitive and quite he has been targeting him,and it was only a few weeks ago that i had to have a meeting with the head teacher about this as he didn't want to go to school,he has been a bit better since and now this

 

[mommy43]

i would also go straight to the head it IS threatening to say something like that to a child with a phobia

 

[amotherslove]

thats incredibly threatening.. i would speak to both the teacher and the principal and let them know that my child WILL report back to me and that next time there would be police involved for threatening my child. i would also let him (the child) know that IF anything else happens he can tell me and next time we will find him a new teacher.

 

[smelly07]

I would be furious..............i know it would be quite difficult to keep dolls away from your son BUT they way it was delt with was definitely wrong telling him he is silly when they know he has a phobia and the teacher saying 'how would you like it if i waved a doll in your face' is just unexceptable......... i would definitely complain without a doubt.
xxx

 

[nikki2512]

hi all,sorry i took so long to update not been on for days,well the monday morning me and oh went with our son to see the headteacher,we stayed calm(as after all it wasn't her that upset him and she is really nice too),but we made it very clear how unhappy we was about what the teacher assistant had done to our son,she totally agreed with us and could not apoligise enough and said that she would sort it out straight away and speak to the teacher as soon as we had gone,and then get back to me as soon as she could,and would make sure our ds was ok before and when he went into class,so all day once i had left ds i was walking the walls wondering if he was ok,when he came out at hometime he was smiling and ok and i asked him if anything had happened and he said yes,the teacher assistant had had a talk with him and said she was really sorry and she should not of said that or upset him,i still wasn't happy at her doing it in the 1st place and think she got away with it to lightly really but i thought well as long as my ds is happy with it then there is no point in dragging it up more and risk upsetting him further,then the next morning not long after taking ds1 and ds2 to school the head teacher rung me and said could i go for a meeting with her that afternoon so i did and she told me what was said when she had a talk with the teacher assistant and asked me if i was happy with the outcome and i said well as long as my ds was happy now then i would let it go but if the teacher assistant ever even looks at my ds in the wrong way again then god help her,so so far since this everything has been ok,but thankyou ladies for all your support and advice

 

[Sew_Sweet]

Wow - don't bother talking to that teacher about it - it is going to need to go over their head at this point. I think you've done your part making it clear that his phobia is real and for her to pull that - what was the point? That's just cruelty. Take it to the top and sort it out with them - but make sure they let you know what the punishment will be because there should definitely be something.