What would you do RE: exs new gf

[PrincessSoph]

My ex left me for another woman - he met her one night - left me the next day. we were married and i was 5 and a half months pregnant. this girl new this but carried on with him anyway.

she lives in ireland so its not as if she couldnt stay away from him. she has her own son.

my ex (currently in germany with the army) will be coming back for leave and i said that he could see LO as long as his mum is around. he has never had summer alone, made a bottle up or anything. it looks as tho there is a chance that his girlfriend will be staying at his mums with him now and again. do you think it is wrong that i have said i dont want her around summer and if he wants to see her while his girlfriend is here then he will have to come to mine alone to see her or take summer out with his mum.

IMO they have been together 6 months, she broke my family up and i dont want her anywhere near my daughter. if they stay together long term i will cross that bridge when i come to it but for now i think its too soon.

 

[lou_w34]

I think your being perfectley reasonable, afterall, he is the one who needs to establish a relationship with his daughter, not his gf, if they end up staying together for a long time, then you can decide when she will be aloud to see your daughter.

 

[having#4]

Sounds fair enough.. I wouldn't want my child around her either and that is totally your right. Have him over to your house to visit, this way you can monitor the situation and step in if you have to. Don't automatically give him the benefit of the doubt that he will keep his gf away from the baby since most likely he will have her around. Stick to your guns and do what you feel most comfortable with.

 

[Ash_P]

i totally understand where u are coming from. My ex did the same thing to me when I was 7 weeks pregnant. I have said that until he is in a long term relationship the child WILL NOT be anywhere near the other woman. (to be honest I dont even give them the length of time til the baby comes along, she`ll get bored of him before then)
Anyway once they are in an established relationship and I see that its not just a fling then they will not have my baby together. Once the baby is older and his relationship has progressed i was still against the idea, but now I have come to think, NOONE will ever replace me in my babies eyes. Im its mummy, Im gonna be the ones that tucks it in every nite, gives it hugs and kisses and looks after it when its sick or upset, so im not actually concerned about another woman, coz thats all she`ll be. ANOTHER WOMAN!

But I refuse her to be nursing my new born and playing happy families. Stand ur ground and do what U feel is best for ur baby. He doesnt really have a say when he walked out half way thru ur pregnancy.

Men are good at choicing when suits them best to be a dad. Just u make the decision that is best for ur situation.

Good luck hun x

 

[Aidedhoney]

I think its a perfectly reasonable request, xx

 

[McLovin]

perfectly fine. I have said to my FOB that if he meets someone new, our LO is not to be introduced to her at all.... until he know for sure she's going to be a permanent fixture.
I'm not sure if he'll stick to this when/if the time comes..... but he completely agreed with me at the time.... and said the same about if I meet some one new. x

 

[xxannxx]

I agree, i think your being perfectly reasonable. Me and my ex spoke about this when we split and agreed that on either side, no partner will ever be introduced to LO until it is a serious relationship and the partner will be around permanantly. Also, as he's been away and never had proper time with LO he needs to build a bond and relationship with her alone before introducing anyone new.

 

[purpledahlia]

yeah i think thats fair! i would probably say the same!! no gf or fling is going near my child!!

 

[McLovin]

stability and routine is so important in a child's life... my Mum had a million and one boyfriends and I never knew what the hell was going on!

 

[purpledahlia]

stability is THE most important factor in a childs upbringing!!

 

[Shireena__x]

hit it on the door nob

 

[Perdita]

I think you're doing the right thing - I wouldn't let her near my child full stop but if they end up being a long term couple then would need to re-think it but until they decide to get a house and get married I'd call it a fling and keep her at a distance!

 

[welsh dragon]

I think ur doing the rite thing by ur LO after all u neva walked out on them