...What would you do? (Semi-rant, need advice).

[babytimeee]

My best friend, who I did want to be the Godmother of my baby, is just a total idiot to me now. I don't know if it's the hormones (I really doubt it), but I just cannot stand her lately.

A few months ago she called me freaking out because her rat was super thin, walking on balled up fists, and non-responsive. She was all upset because she didn't have the money for an emergency visit to the vet so I bit my tongue and told if she needed help to let me know and I could figure something out. Well in my head I was like "How the hell do you walk by a cage of 4 rats 100 times a day and not notice she was like that? That didn't just ~happen~ overnight."

So she ended up putting the rat down. Two weeks later she's on the phone crying to me that her boyfriend won't let her get a pitbull from the shelter! I just kind of "Ahuh, ok, yeah, I'm sorry-ed" it, but again I was thinking "You can't fucking taking care of rodents and your other dog but you're going to get another one?" WTF man.

Anyway, the point of this is she now has two dogs, one is a Boxer who is 60 pounds and just totally the sweetest thing in the world, and the other is a Pitbull who is also 60 lbs and a total BEAST. She's a year old and, in my opinion, vicious. She jumps on me nonstop, even if I've been there for hours, and she's really mouthy. She nips at everything. She scratched up my arms really bad and even left a really good sized bruise on my shoulder.
Mind you, thiis apartment that they are in is in the ground.. like cave style. It has half windows and no ventilation. I live in a 676sq ft apartment and hers is SMALLER! With two 60 lb dogs, 3 rats, and a cat! It SMELLS. There's mold everywhere from the moisture being drawn up from the ground.. it's just gross. Call me a snob but I try to go over there as little as possible because there's nowhere clean for me to sit that I won't be covered in animal fur. Id rather not go to a friends house and smell after leaving.

Another point I'd like to make is that I posted a picture on my facebook of my cat and she was like "She's not going with you when you move right? That old wives tail, cat's steal baby's breath.. she'll suffocate her." UM I'M SORRY. DO NOT fucking tell me what to do with my baby or my pets that I ACTUALLY take care of. OBVIOUSLY the cat will not be allowed in the baby's room. Don't tell me what to do. Period.

I dunno, I just don't know what to do. I don't even know how to go about telling her that her house is unfit for me visiting nevermind the baby... plus I just really don't want her to be godmother anymore. I wish I never opened my mouth to tell her I wanted her to be. I don't want anyone ELSE to be the godmother, but I really just don't want to honor her with that. What would you do?

Sorry.. long haha

 

[open lotus]

sounds like someone you dont need to be around anymore.
follow your deep down feelings,finish the friendship,yo9u have obviously learnt all you needed from eachother and its time to move on.
alott of friends change when you get pregnant.

good luck x

 

[Periwinkle]

Its so weird to me that an animal lover would suggest someone get rid of their pet because of some superstitious nonsense.

That would annoy the hell out of me.

I distanced myself from best friend of a long time not too long ago. I realised that there was just too much negative about our relationship and it wasn't good for me.

Good luck x

 

[babytimeee]

Thanks hun.

Thing is though that she IS a good friend to me and I can talk to her about anything and vice-versa, we have a good time, but I feel like giving her Godmother "status" will make her feel entitled to have a say in well... everything. And I don't know how to tell her that AND that I don't want the baby staying there .. ever =/

 

[babytimeee]

Its so weird to me that an animal lover would suggest someone get rid of their pet because of some superstitious nonsense.

That would annoy the hell out of me.

I distanced myself from best friend of a long time not too long ago. I realised that there was just too much negative about our relationship and it wasn't good for me.

Good luck x

I definitely have distanced our relationship quite a bit already =/.. She already does a lot for the baby though, and I know she will love her like she's her own, but I also dont want the baby to go there, get hurt, and me get angry at her for not watching her dogs.. and if the dog DID hurt the baby I WOULD for damn sure make a point of something being done about it, and I don't want that problem to arise =/

 

[lanaloo]

Eeee sounds like a situation I was in, in the end I had to completely cut off all communication and all relationship with this girl even though we were so close. But I realised her ways and attitudes just weren't gona be good enough to be around my baby...as harsh as that sounds (and felt.)

I think if you still want to be friends with her, just tell her that you don't want the baby around the dog and don't take the baby to her house. Try avoid going to her house aswell :/ I reckon if she really is as bad as you think she'll eventually drift away anyway, if not then things might change for the better when baby is born?? xxxx

 

[babytimeee]

I think that's just what I'm going to have to do (tell her her house is off-limits for the baby) and see how it goes from there. I guess the way I see it is.. if she throws a fit about it, then so be it! It will escalate from there I'm sure and I will tell her straight up it's not my up my standards and that she will just have to deal. I'm sure after hearing that she won't want anything to do with me anyway

 

[lanaloo]

yeahhh true!! it's funny how pregnancy changes everything, everything is about the baby and if you feel like it isn't up to standards you can't stand it. even if it's someone or something you've done all your life.

Also, I would tell her that you've decided you don't want godparents anymore! haha xx

 

[babytimeee]

Lol. I didn't have standards before! Ay yi yi!

I actually DON'T want Godparents, I'm not religious AT ALL and neither is my OH. Although he went through CCD and everything, the only time I've ever been in a church is for a funeral. However~! His Mom is a super bible thumper (sorry for the term, lol), and my Mom.. well.. she pretends to be. And they are both up our asses about getting the baby baptised. (Which pisses us both off, but isn't worth being disowned.) It just really bothers ME because, like I said, I'm NOT religious and I feel like baptising the baby would be like lying to whoever is up there, if anything.