What would you do with this thing?

[ahcigar1]

So I had my second and last baby shower this past weekend which went better than expected. My cousin only had one seizure when she first came into my room and saw me but after that did beautifully which I thought was great and we made it a wonderful day given the circumstances and location. I got lots of wonderful things including many items on the registry which was wonderful. And all the clothes that we did get were larger sizes so don't have to go and exchange them.

The only thing I am wondering what to do about is MIL didn't pay attention to the registery and hasn't been listening to us about things we have purchased already because she got us what her version of a diaper bag is. But the problem is it is VERY ugly like something that I would never get caught dead walking around with and is so small I can't fit the things needed in it. Not even the basics of diapers/wipes change outfit burp rags and recieving blanket never mind the other things needed I can't even fit half of those items listed above. So it is totally worthless plus we have had one that my brother got us (the one we wanted) back when I was 16 weeks along. And also the one that she got is full of flowery print which I know my husband would never feel comfortable carrying. She has removed the tag off of this bag so have no clue as to where it came from to try and exchange it. What do I do with this thing? If I don't use it she will start to ask questions but it is a worthless bag litterally. My mom suggested just using it when I go to their house so she thinks we are using it but I can't even fit half the basic neccessities, literally all this thing fits is 5 diapers and a travel pack of wipes and a burp cloth and my wallet and that is it. What am I supposed to do hand carry everything else? What would you all do with it if you had it? I hate to be ungrateful because the gesture was nice but she never listens to us on what we already have purchased. She even got 3 toys that we specifically told her and showed her that we got a month ago. So aggravating.

 

[BeckyBoo]

Maybe fill it up with nappies and wipes, change of clothes and leave it in the car as a spare for when you're out. Sometimes me and OH would go for a short trip somewhere and not take enough with us because we got distracted. Just remember to change the nappies as the baby gets bigger.

Then you could just take it out every time you go to hers and she'll see it.

 

[Lisa1981]

Personally I would say to her.

 

[Dannieo]

Oh dear, what a pickle. Could you use it as am emergancy back up bag? I know you say it is small, but maybe just pop a few nappies, some wipes and cream in and pop it in the boot of your car?

Can't your OH say something? Why do we always get put into this position of having to tell the MIL things, while the son keeps schtum? It's his mum! I'd get him to say that he doesn't want to walk around carrying a flowery bag. She's less likely to be upset at him.

Maybe you could explain about the toys and suggest that she keeps them at her house for play when your LO is there?

I hope it works out for you.
xxx

 

[MamaBearX4]

I would be very grateful for receiving gifts no matter how ugly you think they are. Worthless and useless are hurtful words.

If you don't like it just tell her after the baby is born that it wasn't large enough and you could pass it on to someone who may be able to use it. Tell her you feel bad but didn't want it going to waste. As for the double toys, make use of them at her house or your moms. Honesty is the best policy.

 

[ahcigar1]

Thanks ladies. Keeping it in the trunk as an extra emergency just in case bag is a good idea. And we were thinking of just taking the toys that she got as doubles over to her place and leaving them there, its just aggravating because she is constantly doing this. It's like she can't think of something for herself or something, or she just likes to try and use it as another way to be in control. We really can't tell.

 

[babylove719]

Maybe fill it up with nappies and wipes, change of clothes and leave it in the car as a spare for when you're out. Sometimes me and OH would go for a short trip somewhere and not take enough with us because we got distracted. Just remember to change the nappies as the baby gets bigger.

Then you could just take it out every time you go to hers and she'll see it.

I agree with this suggestion! I've been told by a few friends with kids that it's a really good idea to leave a bag in your car with diapers, wipes, and a spare outfit, bib... those sorts of things. because sometimes you could be running out of the house and not even realize that you haven't packed your baby bag well enough for your outing, so at least you'll always have some essentials in the car already.

and that way since it's always in the car, when you go to her house you can just bring that bag in with you so she sees you're using it.

 

[Jellyx]

Hey Ahcigar1, are you still int he hospital? How are you feeling?

 

[Acorn]

I would maybe tell her you already got the one you asked for and ask her if she needs a "grandma bag?" Maybe she would keep it for her house.

I like the idea of keeping it in the car too for extras, but I wouldn't bother taking it out in front of her. I would just be honest and say you are keeping it as a spare since you already got the one you asked for. It's not your fault she bought something without considering your registry and if you already had one.

 

[romeo.juliet]

If you can't use it then you can't use it. If she asks just say you needed something bigger b/c the LO's items didn't fit in the other bag. Use the truth (minus it's ugly lol)

 

[Blah11]

do you see inlaws a lot? could suggest leaving it at hers with some nappies and wipes?

 

[Stargazer77]

Donate it to charity.... there are plenty of new mums with nowt....

 

[Blah11]

I would be very grateful for receiving gifts no matter how ugly you think they are. Worthless and useless are hurtful words.

If you don't like it just tell her after the baby is born that it wasn't large enough and you could pass it on to someone who may be able to use it. Tell her you feel bad but didn't want it going to waste. As for the double toys, make use of them at her house or your moms. Honesty is the best policy.

it is a pain though when someone gets you something totally unusable plus a waste of MIL money.

 

[MamaBearX4]

I would be very grateful for receiving gifts no matter how ugly you think they are. Worthless and useless are hurtful words.

If you don't like it just tell her after the baby is born that it wasn't large enough and you could pass it on to someone who may be able to use it. Tell her you feel bad but didn't want it going to waste. As for the double toys, make use of them at her house or your moms. Honesty is the best policy.

it is a pain though when someone gets you something totally unusable plus a waste of MIL money.

I've been in this boat before, I just try to use the item for a bit and then pass it on. It's not a pain and it's not wasted money and it gets passed on. Some people don't get things and sometimes my mom is this way but I'm used to it, you can't change people like this so the best thing is to be gracious and thankful.

 

[ahcigar1]

Hey Ahcigar1, are you still int he hospital? How are you feeling?

Hi Jelly. I am home now. came home last night. Both Leah and I are doing well and am on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. But so happy that the contractions have stopped and more importantly Leah is fine and very happy in there. Thank you for asking

 

[Mazzy]

I don't know about you, but I tend to forget what I buy people as gifts...maybe she'll forget all about it... It's such a small thing to worry about. I think your bigger issue is just dealing with this particular MIL; the bag is only a symptom.

 

[ahcigar1]

I don't know about you, but I tend to forget what I buy people as gifts...maybe she'll forget all about it... It's such a small thing to worry about. I think your bigger issue is just dealing with this particular MIL; the bag is only a symptom.

you do have a point. LOL

 

[aley28]

I don't know about you, but I tend to forget what I buy people as gifts...maybe she'll forget all about it... It's such a small thing to worry about. I think your bigger issue is just dealing with this particular MIL; the bag is only a symptom.

I was going to say this as well. My MIL overloaded us with stuff when we had our first son (funny, she hasn't bought a single thing for this boy. ) and there was only one outfit that she bought that she even remembered. She's continued loading toys on us since he was born, and never even notices that a lot of them end up in "The Closet", since I can't stand them (noisy toys are SO IRRITATING!)

Also, I've personally found it handy to have an extra diaper bag. We have a decent sized one for day-to-day use. Holds several diapers, travel pack of wipes, extra shoes, 2 bottles/sippy cups, and a spare outfit or two. But the spare diaper bag we have is absolutely tiny and it only has like one pocket on it. I've found it works great to pack with things when we go on vacation. When he was still on formula, I'd pack his formula, bottles, the special bottle sponge, dish soap, etc in that bag. Now I fill his other diaper bag with diapers and wipes (to the brim!) and throw his clothes in the spare... between the two, he doesn't need a suitcase of his own yet and we can leave to somewhere for up to 5 days. I just keep the tiny one stored in his closet.

 

[mrsdcooper]

Give it to her the first time she looks after little one with all the necessities and a change of clothes. Saying you would live her to gave her own set to make your easier when you come to visitbyoy won't need to bring everything.

 

[Periwinkle]

My mum gave me a changing bag that I didn't like at all (think fake patent leather, leopard print and pink!). I worried about it for a while but in the end just told her the truth that it wasn't my style and asked if she minded if I changed it - which she didn't.

I'd normally suggest being honest with her that you've already been given one you like, but I seem to recall from previous threads that your MIL isn't all that reasonable!