What would you do???

[becks]

I really dont know where to start last year I went into a womans refuge to get away from my very controlling/bullying ex. Since we seperated we have got on pretty well for the LOs sake. To cut a long story short yesterday we had a massive argument and since then ive had text after text saying im not getting a penny more out of him. He was paying my sky, internet and phoneline for me and the kids and giving us £20 a week. This is where is gets worse!! He owns his own business and can earn between £200 - £550 a DAY. He is rolling in it... But he is putting through the books that he only does 12hours a week, he pays himself the rest in stupid amounts of cash in hand. I phoned CSA and they said that they will only go off what his earnings were from last years tax year I text him back today saying that i only expect £35 a week per LO ( so £70 a week ) and he told me to f**k off. I never asked him to pay the phone/internet/sky etc but he wanted to do it for the LOs. Surely any solicitor would want to know how he manages to pay £850 mortgage a month, £900 shop rent a month, his sky, landline, mobile phone, internet, car tax, insurance, petrol etc on 12 hours a week?? Am I being unreasonable expecting £35 a week per LO? Im so confused and dont know where to start??? ANY advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated xx

 

[seoj]

I'm sorry hun- I assume it just depends on what the laws are in your area? Here- it's based on current income... they look at mothers and fathers and time spent with child, then calculate based on that. My friend just went through all this (again) with her ex- as he makes a ton more than her, and was not paying what he should- so she finally had it re-calculated (which you can do every so often)... and then he quit his job to screw her over and took her to court saying she made more than she did-- it was a mess tbh. BUT, in the end, the judge saw through all his "crap" and awared her what she deserved (based on his income and how often, or little actually, he saw his son). It took time and very frustrating for my friend- it's a crappy system to some extent-- and very slow... just look into your options and if possible, have it automatically taken and not rely on him to do what is right. You can also have it re-assessed later I would think. Just ask.

That honestly seems like SO little to get per month-- ??? Sorry no great advise... wishing you the best of luck!!!

 

[becks]

thanks seoj... I dont know why he is taking it out on the LOs. It makes me so mad xx

 

[KayBea]

i dont know where you are but have you spoken to CAB? ide get some advice from somewhere else other than CSA. xx

 

[seoj]

thanks seoj... I dont know why he is taking it out on the LOs. It makes me so mad xx

It's unfortunate- but honestly, it happens more than it should (least from what I've seen, experienced and heard from many divorced friends/family). If one parent is trying to get back at their ex- for whatever reason, they don't always consider how that affects the children involved. I'm glad your LO's at least have one rational parent... I hope he realizes what he's doing and it's sorted soon. :Hugs:

 

[special_kala]

Report him to the tax man for screwing the system. What sort of man screws his kids out of money

 

[lilyd]

I would report him to the inland revenue then go to the csa. Once the IR deal with him, you should get more money.

If you are going to struggle immediately without him helping you then you may want to give him the option of paying up or you'll report him, but if you can cope without his money then I would probably report anonymously - especially considering the issues that you have had with him.

Good luck x

 

[Varenne]

You may have to go the legal route He needs to be paying a hell of a lot more than that, Sky or no Sky! You've been robbed and now he's even taking that away!

He's also tax evading by the sounds of it. If he's doing illegal things with his money he's in no position the threaten you and the kids with withdrawal! Cheeky swine!

You may need to serve him with his legal responsibilities via solicitor I'm afraid.

Poor kids. Good job they've got you

 

[moomin_troll]

First I'd phone the tax man and let them know what he's up to. They will be more then happy to investigate his fraud.
What a scumbag.

Depending how much ur kids see him, I'd say no money, no access and id be more then happy for him to take me to court