What would you do?

[Amy-Lea]

FOB has never had a Christmas card of me & Hallie never mind a present but this year his girlfriend give birth so Hallie has a little sister. I want Hallie to give her little sister a present (she will be about 7 months I think at Christmas) I don't want to spend loads just a token. Maybe a £10 voucher and a small gift from Hallie to her.

FOB has started being more reasonable with me so I will give a daddy and sister card out this year. BUT he never knew Hallie for her first year, so has never seen her. I was thinking that I should print out loads of her newborn to 1 year old pictures and put them in a album for him. Mainly too compare Hallie to the new baby as my mum and a friend who have seen her have said, she is the image of Hallie as a baby. THen that looks like HE has a present the baby has a present, so I would need to get his girlfriend one, but I'd feel awkward. But in a way I guess it'll make me look civil as I'm sure half their family think I am a monster Should I send over the babies toy, daddies album and a little soap and glory set or something for the girlfriend? Or just stick to the babies prezzy?

 

[Scamp]

It's up to you hun, I'd stick with just getting a pressie from Hallie to their LO though x

 

[special_kala]

Id just get the gf a smelly set from boots

 

[Natasha2605]

I don't see why you need to ge the GF a pressie, one from Hallie to sister and Hallie to daddy would be enough I'd think

 

[Amy-Lea]

See I don't want her to think I have done if on purpose iykwim I will just see what is left over on the 3 for 2 gifts and give her one of them I think. Just send Hallie to her dads with a little gift bag when she goes for a few hours on Christmas day and just say there's a little something for the LO and then when they are in their house they will find theirs. I would hate to say oh theres a little something in there for you's and him to go nahhhh dont want it and like not accept it

 

[tryin4baby]

i'd just do one from hallie to the baby and one from hallie to daddy, no need to give the gf a pressie

 

[indy and lara]

I don't think you need to but if it will keep the peace it is maybe worth doing? Just a wee minding.

 

[netty]

My sd mum thinks i am a monster too for the last 2 years she has bought from my sd to her step brother and half brother (my sons) and her dad but not me.
i dont mind tho - least she did buy something for my son which was nice.

 

[twinkle1975]

I understand what you're saying - we buy DH's Dad a present even though he doesn't buy us anything & has said he never wants to see us again - but I don't want to give him another opportunity to say anything bad about us.

 

[Tasha]

I would do the gift from Hallie to her dad and her sister, plus get a token gift for the gf. Of course you dont have to but I would worry that it would come across as you deliberately excluding the gf, plus I would want the gf to include Hallie in things so in my mind that would mean including the gf in things. Not sure that makes sense but it would be how I felt.

 

[MummyJade]

I see what your saying if you feel more comfortable getting the GF something then do it i think your actually being very nice for thinking of her.
i think really its FOBs place to get gifts for his child and partner from your daughter. x

 

[xSophieBx]

I think its lovely that your doing all that. cos I wouldnt.. but me & FOB aren't amicable at all. TBH I think I'd just stick with getting the baby something... Does he get anything for u 2 b from your daughter? x

 

[Amy-Lea]

haha no. I doubt the thought even crosses his mind!

 

[almostXmagic]

in the spirit of the season id just give them each a gift. the christmas season is about giving after all. plus it will make you seem like a very considerate person to their family

 

[Leafy]

I think the g/f will be happy you have included their child and be happy with that. I would send something cheapie over for her too, to show youre a good person! I think if you do this, maybe they will return the favour next time and make things amicable? xxxx

 

[Blah11]

Would Hallie know the difference? If so, I'd just spend the extra £5-10 on a little gift for his GF.

 

[Lauraxamy]

I think it's lovely you've thought of all of them. My sisters Mum and my sister was in the situation with my Dad.. he met my Mum so she just used to get like a bottle of wine or a box of chocolates and put it to both of them that way she'd left nobody out. She still does the same now really.

 

[KittyVentura]

I would get her a present too.

I think the album for him with all the baby pics of Hallie in is a fantastic idea. Could you perhaps buy 2 identical or similar albums and give her an empty one for her to fill with pics of the new baby? I think that would be nice. You could even find a lovely poem about sisters and put a print of it inside each...

I often find the boots type smelly gifts a bit insulting. They always seem like "I didn't know/couldn't be bothered to think of a personal/thoughtful present so I got you this (oh and btw it's the free one)"... Also buying smellies is quite a personal thing so I'd think in the circumstances it would be overfamiliar.

Think of ways for her to treasure the memories of the new baby. Maybe a photoframe set, a memory box or similar. I think that would be thoughtful and caring and not overfamiliar/awkward xx

 

[KittyVentura]

Also - as an add on to those that have said things about not doing it because they don;t do anything for Hallie etc. Remember that Christmas and the whole season is about giving. Not recieving. It is about being selfless and doing kind things, not to get the same back in return or to score points, but just for the sake of being kind and being nice xxx

 

[indy and lara]

Honestly I think it is nice that you are doing it but I am not sure I would be putting too much effort into it. If you don't want to get a shop bought gift (personally I think that is fine. Boots have lots, not just smellies) then why not get Hallie to draw a picture of them and frame it? That way you include all of them and don't have to buy her anything separate?