What would you say or do say?

[Becktoria]

As some of you know, I lost my precious girl at 36wks due to placenta abruption and she was born sleeping. Today I bumped into an old friend who asked me how many children I have? I have 1 child who is 4 but also my sleeping angel. I sadly told him I had one child and he then went on to ask, " you planning on having any more"? I didn't know what to say as Its only been 6 months since my baby died. I felt guilty for saying I had 1, when I don't I have 2, she was a proper little baby with perfect features she still existed and was part of the family.It was so awkward and I'm sure there will b other people in the future who ask me the same. I don't want anyone to feel awkward if I did tell them but I feel uncomfortable saying I have one child. What do you say? Especially the mummies that have had stillborns, but I wOuld love to hear from anyone. I've just some home and cried my eyes out, hurts so much xxx

 

[Charlee]

How about saying you have two but only one got the chance to stay with you? Don't feel guilty at all, she was part of the family and always will be. Sending hugs your way x

 

[Becktoria]

Thanks for your message, it's so difficult to know what to say but that Is a nice way of putting it thank you xx

 

[Jox]

lots of love, sorry for your loss of your little girl x

My son was stillborn at 36 weeks in Jan '10. i went on to have my rainbow baby just 8 months later, he is now 16 months old and im 13 weeks with my 2nd rainbow.

When people ask me how many children i have i say 2, if they ask how old they are i say my eldest died and my youngest is 16 months. if id been asked 100 time then maybe 2 or 3 times ive just said one, its when im caught of guard and i always regret it

lots of love x

 

[Becktoria]

Thank you x

 

[tu123]

Both replies have been great. Be proud of your Angel LO. She will always be with you even if not here. I am sure she is always on your mind. Dont be afraid to talk about her hunny.

 

[InVivoVeritas]

This one always throws me.

I have two great girls but lost my son as a newborn. I've also had 5 miscarriages. When people ask me what baby this is, do I say 9th? That usually means that I've got a lot of explaining to do, and I'd really prefer not to. On the other hand, I don't want to deny my son -- he deserves better from his mom.

I usually answer that it's my fourth full-term pregnancy, or else that I already have two daughters at home, whichever I feel will best fit. The question makes me feel awkward every time, and I wish people would stop asking it.