whats going on in his brain???

[lauramarie]

im still in shock, just recieved an email from my ex, which said

'hello, i was wondering if i could buy some christmas presents for jake?'

xmas presents? this comes 2 days after swearing down the phone to the csa telling them that he was not paying backdated maintenence.
Jake is now 3 months old he has never asked about him and he has never even met him. He has bought nothing for him. I really don't know what to make of that.

Do i even reply to it?

 

[lillprutten]

At least he wants to get him some things.
Sorry to sound blunt but maybe its a step in the right direction xxx

 

[expecting09]

Eek, thats a toughy. I'm not quite sure what to make of that. Maybe he's try to ween his way back into Jakes life? I, personally, would tell him where to shove his christmas presents, Jakes obviously been here for 3 months, and he's not so much as brought a nappy, what gives him the right to go out and buy toys etc. I would tell him that if he wants to buy presents he can wait till next year and that gives him time to get to know Jake

 

[purpledahlia]

nope! I would say to him if he wants to do anything for Jake then he can pay the backdated maintenence and start by visiting and being in his life. He cant just step in and buy him toys... id tell him to shove it! i dont understand male brains!

 

[summerarmahni]

This also happened to me yesterday my daughters father who she hasnt seen since she was 9 months old (she turned 4 in october) somehow got my mams number and called her so she passed me the message and i called him back asking what he wanted, he said he wanted to give something to summer (my lil girl) for christmas i said to him it was her birthday a month ago you didnt bother, he said he cudnt remember when her birthday was i said well its up to you but i wont tell her who there from as i dont want her gettin confused he said thats fine so i said i will think bout it and text him men aghhhhhhhh

Id reply to him hun asking him exactly what his game is, is this is only present or will he continue to be in his life x

 

[lauramarie]

well funny you should say that purple. i phoned csa today about the backdated amounts to be told that my ex has had a change of heart and has paid the backdated amount in full and will pay regular maintenence. im actually in shock, but why the sudden change in him could it be cause xmas is coming up or maybe theres trouble in paradise!

really don't know what to think. iv decided to ignore the email for now and see if i hear anything more, as id be to tempted to tell him what i think of him and where he can shove his presents, im going to be the bigger person this time.

 

[lauramarie]

hey summer unbelievable he has waited 4 years!! what do you think it is, is it just the effect that xmas has on people. i agree with not telling her who it is from, as she would get confused, and i don't want that in the future for my son, if he continues to want no contact with him.

i was going to leave it just now, because i know that i will get into an arguement with him, which i don't want. i feel that iv come a long way in the last couple of months and i don't want this to put me back to square one.

 

[purpledahlia]

well not sure about the xmas gift, but thats brill hes paid the full amount due!

 

[summerarmahni]

hey summer unbelievable he has waited 4 years!! what do you think it is, is it just the effect that xmas has on people. i agree with not telling her who it is from, as she would get confused, and i don't want that in the future for my son, if he continues to want no contact with him.

i was going to leave it just now, because i know that i will get into an arguement with him, which i don't want. i feel that iv come a long way in the last couple of months and i don't want this to put me back to square one.

I dont know what it is hun he hasnt bothered in the last 3/4 crimbos so why now??

We have to be so careful with these situations and deffo be the bigger person as we dont want our little ones heads gettin messed up you do right leavin it for now see if he continues to ask you or if its just a one off then you will know if hes bothered or not xx

 

[lauramarie]

thanks for the advice its appreciated.

yep its good he has paid, i thought i was going to have a fight on my hands, so one less thing to worry about.

just shows that the csa aren't all that bad and hope rest of you have an experience like mine, but guess it depends on the FOB's

 

[purpledahlia]

time will tell...