Whats it like being a single mum?!

[LaDY]

Hi girls...hope you don't mind me coming on here...1st time i have ever posted on here so here it goes...basically me and my OH are going through a very bad patch at the moment, we haven't split up but the way things are going and the way i am feeling who knows...as i really dont have the energy to fight with him anymore...

The thought of being a single mum really scares me...as i have no one apart from him and a few close friends (however i wouldn't really say they are close enough to turn to)...my parents disowned me when they discovered i was pregnant with his child due to cultural differences...so if i was to become a single mum i would have no one at all......this makes me feel really sad not only for myself but also my son...i keep trying to think of positive things but i just can't...im hoping things will work out with my OH but i also need to be prepared if they don't...

so whats it like being a single mum? xx

 

[Jade--x]

Sorry to hear what you're going through hun.

I've been a single mum all the way through as I split up with my ex during the pregnancy, so I'm probably not the best person to get the answer you need.

I love being a single mum. I don't have to get anyones permission to do things and I have all the time in the world with my little boy. Admittedly it's not all easy. You don't get a break other than nap times and bed time, unless you've got someone that can take them for a while or pay to have a babysitter.

I honestly thought I would have to terminate my pregnancy at the thought of being a single mum, but after a second thought I realised I'm a strong girl and I can do it and I'm sure you can too hun

Hopefully it doesn't come to that and I hope you and your OH sort things out

 

[christine790]

i understand completely. i'm in a similar situation. i'm 39 weeks pregnant and i'm still completely in love with my husband but just in the past 2 weeks, absolutely out of the blue he's told me he's done trying. we're still good to each other and we've been getting along but i think he's only staying with me for our son but it's not fair to me that i have to see him everyday knowing he doesn't love me anymore, and it's not fair for my son to have to bring him up in an unstable house. anyway enough about me, just want you to know you're not alone and it'll definitely be hard but i'm here for you if you need to talk.

 

[xjodiekissesx]

I found it hard at first but i like it better now, i was only with shane for 2 months and i dumped him but i was already pregnant. my boys are quiet when i go down the shop so i can have a break whenever i want.

Given the choice I'm proud to be a single parent and wouldnt swap it for the world.

 

[OurJourney]

You are definitely not alone, as lonely as it (sounds) like it might feel just now.

I never chose to be a single parent, i got married and was lucky enough to conceive straightaway, then had another baby and two years after that we just had to admit that we were making our lives miserable. We were never suited (and it took us pretty much 15 years to work that out...). I wanted my children to see a more 'normal', loving relationship, where two people show love and affection, they fall out, they make up, they are happy.... I don't regret making the decision that I did, and that was getting on for five years ago. I have to say that, for me, becoming a mum pretty much made me a different person in as much as i started to 'grow up', and part of growing up involved growing away from the person i'd married.

It was very tough to start with, particularly financially, and at one point i was working two jobs and the ex was being horrible about money, and ultimately i had to sell our family house (the one decision i DO regret agreeing to.) Five years on I now work part time and do a bit of self employed type work, too, the ex is fine with finances so long as we don't talk much beyond a sentence at a time, and I have a new partner who moved in in April. He loves my kids, we all love him, and now there is the difficulty i suppose of having been USED to being a single parent for the best part of five years and having to realise that i dont' have to be QUITE so independent minded... though i'm not sure that those learning curves will ever leave me, and i'm determined to keep some independence... I just have to trust that i can be vulnerable, again; the greatest driving force, i've found, has been to protect my kids, always be honest with them, never 'diss' their dad in front of them, and try to move on.

It's tough, but you'll survive and you'll be fine, and no doubt be a stronger person for it.

I wish things had been different, but they are how they are, i love my kids and we get on with it.

Meanwhile, I hope you're able to make the decision that best suits you and your son, and partner. All the very best of luck.

 

[xarlenex]

I choose to end it with Kyle's dad when he was 7 months old. I tried so hard to pretend I was happy and hope it'd work but as I believe a child will be happier with 2 seperate happy parents than together, argueing non-loving parents I finally gained the courage and ended it.

At first it was difficult and there were times when I questioned whether i'd done the right thing, but now nearly a year on, it was by far the best decision i've made. Geting money sorted can be a pain, but you do get there.

As for feeling like you have no one, theres lots of mother and baby classes for all different things available, you should try some of those. It's really easy to meet people that way.

Hope things work out for you x

 

[Beautywithin]

I wont lie being a single mum is bloody hard..iv brang up my daughter with the support of my dad and friends.. without them i could have never had done it

it takes a while getting used to being on your own. doing things on your own, and its the little things you will miss..

I now no i can do anything. even tho splitting from paris's dad broke my heart.. it was my worse fear. not only being young, but being a young mum on my own

i felt guilty if anything, my mum has never been in my life. and for paris i wanted her to have both parents there, but it isnt fair just to stay together because of a child

if anything its made me a stronger person... and it will you too

keep your friends and family close because you will need them

xx

 

[RSHowley]

There are so many amazing, strong women out there. It makes me feel a little stronger hearing everyones stories.

I became a single expectant mum in the first week of my second trimester (I am now 21 weeks pregnant) My boyfriend told me he wasnt ready to be a father after we had been living together for 2 years.

I have been living on my own for 2 weeks now. I get scared sometimes and i cry a fair bit too. But i have good friends and this new online world that i have just discovered is pretty cool too!!

I cant wait to meet my daughter now, and the rest we can work out together!!
I wish you all the best!
Rebecca xx