When did you feel okay to let others take your baby out?

[calm]

Just wanted some perspective. My inlaws have wanted to take them out basically since day 1. They are not my favourite people, but its not just that, it just seemed to me they were too young to be out in the world without me with them. I do let them be at their house without me, but it seems different. I know exactly where they are and it feels "safe". So, as the question has been asked again and I still don't feel happy, would love to know when for you it was okay for other people (not you or partner) to take your baby out.

 

[minties]

Er, is never an appropriate answer?! Never ever as babies. I lived with my mum from when Thomas was 9-18 months and my grandma took him out once at 14 months, and my mum around then too. But Thomas saw both of them every day so I felt pretty confident about it.

My MIL has taken Thomas out and back to her pace a few times since he was about 2.5 but I still get nervy over it. He has stayed the night with her 2 times this year.

OH has taken Sophie out for one drive and a few walks but she panics without me so it's rare.

I worry that people will forget them and leave them in the car.

edit: MIL walked the kids around when Sophie was 6 weeks old while OH and climbed a mountain and I HATED IT. She was on the ground below us but we couldn't find her when we got back down and I got hysterical. I thought she had stolen my baby....irrational new mother thoughts!

 

[Quartz]

My first she was 9 months old because OH ended up in hospital and it was with my parents. Then my parents looked after her two day a week when I went back to work when she was 1.

DS I think he was probably about 3 weeks old when my parents took him out, I wanted to make sure I had one to one time with DD. They still do 1/2 days a week when I am at work.

It tough I still worry when they are apart from me (and DD is about to go into Year 2). I think for me its important to separate out my natural anxieties and stopping my mind running through all the scenarios (cars crashing kids running into the road) with the sensible part of me that knows my parents/school etc are fine to look after them. But I would not trust my FIL or SIL to look after them at all.

 

[chipsticks]

my mam has the 2 of them when I'm in work (4 days with mam and dh is at home for one of the days). My mam sees them everyday. And she has brought them on one walk without me! �� I trust her one million percent I just don't see the need for them to be brought places other then her house..we go on plenty of outings but I'm ways there! DH happily sits out some outings and sometimes brings them somewhere when I'm working my one weekend day..mam has had our eldest overnight a few times maybe 5? Probably less..

(When i say one walk without me i mean when I've been at home, when I'm in work they walk the school run cos mam minds another child aswell, but if I'm not working I like to be with them, I actually can't stand being here without them it's too quiet)

 

[Fizzyfefe]

We don't have any family that lives by us, so we don't have this issue. However, the thought of somebody else taking him out before he's even a year old terrifies me. They are your babies and your feelings about this are valid and rational!

 

[Rainbow82]

DS is only 12 weeks so hasn't been a single second without one is near yet and I can't imagine my in laws taking him out anywhere but I think by about 7-9 mo that I would be ok with my mum taking him out, nobody else though. I'm not sure if that's because he will be going to nursery at 9 months so I will have to get used to the separation by then.

 

[Scout]

Daughter was about a year and half before I let my mom and dad take her out to lunch with them. They see her almost everyday and I trust them completely, but it still took that long b/4 I felt okay with that.

 

[Rachel89]

I also understand those fears, especially since our parents are not very knowledgeable in carseats or believe that they are necessary.

My son goes nowhere in the car with my family without me, as they wouldnt even put him in a carseat.

He sometimes goes out with inlaws but then I let hubby install the carseat as they do not do it right, still to this day. This happens max 1x a week. But not until he was around 18 months.


Will be doing the same when our second child is born, those who do not like it don't have to, but it is what I am comfortable with. And they should respect that.

 

[d_b]

I don't think mine have ever been in a car without either me or OH there.. My parents/in laws/sisters have taken them for walks or to the park (which I can see from my window) since around 18months. DS1 went to daycare at 12 months but that was just the next street over, and we had a nanny for the kids for a while, in both cases they would be taken to the park or a walk around the neighborhood. I specifically excluded childcare where the provider wanted to take them places in the car or on bus. This summer DS1 is 3.5 and I would be ok with someone (responsible) taking him out somewhere but we don't have anyone nearby who would.

 

[sethsmummy]

never except for nursery i dont fully trust anyone with my children. they dont go out with anyone. ds1 had 1 night with my folks at 3 weeks old, a few hours with inlaws at 4 weeks old. a few hours while dh and i went for a meal he was with my folks and then with just my mum for 4 hours when i had my c-section. the inlaws watched the older two in our house for a day when we took ds3 for his operation but thats it.

nobody takes my babies

 

[Quartz]

Yes they are our babies but we cant be with them all the time forever (as much as we would like to be) and we have to let them grow - if someone is using proper car safety then whats the harm, admittedly I make my parents text when then leave and get there but I know he enjoys it.

The first time she went on a school trip without me on a bus was awful and I worried but you have to trust they will be ok

 

[_Meep_]

Mine still hasn't been out with anyone and she's nearly 13 months. I don't even totally like her going out with just her dad, although she has a few times. What I've found is that when you have a baby, you develop heightened senses and quicker reflexes. While your newborn baby sleeps in your room, you are sensitive to every sound and movement he makes. Nine times out of ten you can anticipate that your baby is about to fall and be across the room to catch him before he hits the floor. You have the ability to snatch a small object from your baby's hand just before it enters his mouth. You know everything about your baby - his movements, his capacities, his abilities, his limits. You have a sixth sense where your baby is concerned.

Other people, while probably well-meaning, do not.

My MIL, as an example, is overconfident with my child. She once thought it would be a good idea to take it upon herself to squeeze the juice from a piece of nectarine into her mouth, and of course (being the total moron that she sadly is) managed to drop the piece into her mouth. My child, unaware of how to handle such a large chunk of fruit, promptly choked. As I was there, I was able to quickly dislodge it and the baby was fine. I'm well aware though that my MIL wouldn't have had a clue what to do if she had been alone. I don't think I'll ever leave my baby with her.

 

[Fizzyfefe]

Mine still hasn't been out with anyone and she's nearly 13 months. I don't even totally like her going out with just her dad, although she has a few times. What I've found is that when you have a baby, you develop heightened senses and quicker reflexes. While your newborn baby sleeps in your room, you are sensitive to every sound and movement he makes. Nine times out of ten you can anticipate that your baby is about to fall and be across the room to catch him before he hits the floor. You have the ability to snatch a small object from your baby's hand just before it enters his mouth. You know everything about your baby - his movements, his capacities, his abilities, his limits. You have a sixth sense where your baby is concerned.

Other people, while probably well-meaning, do not.

This, exactly.

 

[weedle]

My mum took my son to the supermarket with her and then back to hers when he was 10 weeks old as I had a sickness bug. She takes him out every week now at nearly 3 and has done for years! When this baby comes I won't hesitate at her taking him out either once breastfeeding is established. I've let others take my son out from probably around 18months/2years.
My childminder is always out and about with him lol, she will be caring for baby from 5months and I trust her to take him out too!

 

[SarahBear]

Never. Violet was closer to 2 by the time my parents took her out without me. It's not about a specific age for me so much as when the kid is old enough to understand what's going on and is personally OK with it. This age probably comes sooner for kids who see extended family or family friends more regularly. I also suspect it may come sooner for younger siblings if their older sibling is with them.

 

[sethsmummy]

Never. Violet was closer to 2 by the time my parents took her out without me. It's not about a specific age for me so much as when the kid is old enough to understand what's going on and is personally OK with it. This age probably comes sooner for kids who see extended family or family friends more regularly. I also suspect it may come sooner for younger siblings if their older sibling is with them.

this i have to agree. if i could trust people to care for my children the way i would i would have no problem with them going out more. but my eldest has special needs, the middle has a temper like a devil and my baby has kidney problems.. i 100% know my parents would smack my eldest if he had a melt down... same if my middle child got into one of his rages (we are waiting it out to see if it too may be on the spectrum) and they wouldnt check babies temp etc if he was warm.. and my sister would be exactly the same. Add on that we dont see much of any of our families and dont really have friends here it seals the deal.

so we may not be able to be with them all the time all their lives but we can look after their interests until we trust someone else enough to help with that.

 

[modified]

Pixie hasn't spent any time away from me yet.. I live with my mum so if she was healthy enough and wanted to take her out for the day, I'd be okay. Anyone else? Nope. And not for a long time yet. I'm not even close to being comfortable enough to leave her.

 

[Kirsty3051]

Never. We left him with my grandparents for a few hours when he was a week old but they didn't take him out. My husband is amazing with him but I worry when he takes him out by himself.

I take him to work with me

 

[Perplexed]

When dd was 6 months dh and I took a trip for a week and she stayed with my mom. she and my sister took her out once or twice. I'm comfortable with mom taking dd and ds out as we've lived with them for a long time, but no one else. my mother hasn't taken dd out alone since (simply because I haven't gone anywhere without her) and she's never taken ds out.

dd and ds go to my inlaws house without me but I'm not comfortable with them going out together.

 

[RaspberryK]

My ds was 9 months when I first left him for a few hours and he was taken out by the in laws, and after that with my best friend as we used to do childcare for each other when I went back to work at 13m. My best friend has also taken dd at 4 months out to the park with our boys when I went to get my hair done and I had her ds at 3 months and needed to pop out to the doctors. I'm not comfortable with anyone else having dd, ds has been going out with others since he was 2 but it's a small circle of close family really.
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