When did you give up?

[tessjs]

Hi All I have just come through a tough 24 hours..Hubby has been pretty bad..

my question to all if you had to go to IVF when did you give up on trying to conceive naturally?

I can't see a cheaper FS till march 7 have just had a cycle go belly up and next month with somebody visiting where i live don't believe that cycle will work either...Was giving it a few cycles like jan, feb to try natutally but can see its a bust...Have decided that IVF is my only chance.Hubby isn't go to be up to the task.

What did you tell yourself if you had conceded IVF or assisted conception is your only option...???

Most know my situation 38 and half.Theres no time left and i can't fool around hoping hubby will do what he needs to.

I was fooling myself into thinking trying to conceive naturally would be an option.I just wish I could go see my first FS I saw in dec and be able to afford him and get started...

 

[charm2mama]

I don't think I will stop until I hit menopause...but by trying I mean not preventing. I don't know if I would continue temping and tracking and all that if IVF fails or we do not chose to go on to IVF. I will always tell myself that there is always a chance...you know you always hear of people who beat the odds. I'll just have to hang onto that and believe it will happen.

I don't know your whole story, but I think it is too early for you to be thinking of giving up! If your hubby's has low motility but if he has enough count, I think you can push for IUI. I would go to another FS for a second opinion. For the cycles you have to miss, try to enjoy it with your hubby, bd for only pleasure and just that. I'm very hopeful for you!

 

[tessjs]

I don't think I will stop until I hit menopause...but by trying I mean not preventing. I don't know if I would continue temping and tracking and all that if IVF fails or we do not chose to go on to IVF. I will always tell myself that there is always a chance...you know you always hear of people who beat the odds. I'll just have to hang onto that and believe it will happen.

I don't know your whole story, but I think it is too early for you to be thinking of giving up! If your hubby's has low motility but if he has enough count, I think you can push for IUI. I would go to another FS for a second opinion. For the cycles you have to miss, try to enjoy it with your hubby, bd for only pleasure and just that. I'm very hopeful for you!

U are s sweet i needed that today very bad day today.... I got my positive OPK this morning but I fear its too late to try .I'm not talking to hubby anyway let alone doing anything after a meltdown last night... i feel my window was yesterday as i had abundant CM and no cm today at all he just wasn't interested.....
I also brought those soft cups and I'm thinking whats the point of those now i dont think I would use them for that time of the month hubby has low morph... so who knows what will happen there..have to wait two months for a second opinion at a cheaper clinicmarch 7 & sheesh too far away....
this year hasn't started well..but oh well..

 

[Briss]

I don't think I will stop even when I hit menopause...(we still have thousands on eggs when we enter menopause so it's reversible) I've abandoned my career (I mean it's dragging alone I am still in the job but I cant be bothered, TTC is my number one and absolute priority in life) And I will do whatever it takes, if hubby is not going to come round to my way of thinking , I am even prepared to continue the journey alone, however sad that's gonna be. it's just really sad that I waited for so long for the right man, then waited for this right man to propose then waited more for him to be ready to start TTC, only to discover that he has sperm issues and is not willing to work hard to improve things. that's 10 years down the drain

I am giving my DH a few more months to come around and accept IVF as inevitable evil, while I am doing acu and Chinese herbs to prepare myself for this journey.

we have arguments with hubby all the time over BD (he has low sex drive and is generally not interested), but when I get a positive OPK I will do whatever it takes to get him BD (even if I have to basically rape him) regardless of how I feel I just change my mind set towards him because BD during the right time is the most important part. so we BD and then continue arguing (while I am lying with my legs up the wall&#8230. TTC and particularly LTTTC is one hell of a journey

sorry for the vent

tessjs, I would still try and BD if you can, you might still be with a chance, use preseed if you need more CM but definitely try to BD

 

[tessjs]

I don't think I will stop even when I hit menopause...(we still have thousands on eggs when we enter menopause so it's reversible) I've abandoned my career (I mean it's dragging alone I am still in the job but I cant be bothered, TTC is my number one and absolute priority in life) And I will do whatever it takes, if hubby is not going to come round to my way of thinking , I am even prepared to continue the journey alone, however sad that's gonna be. it's just really sad that I waited for so long for the right man, then waited for this right man to propose then waited more for him to be ready to start TTC, only to discover that he has sperm issues and is not willing to work hard to improve things. that's 10 years down the drain

I am giving my DH a few more months to come around and accept IVF as inevitable evil, while I am doing acu and Chinese herbs to prepare myself for this journey.

we have arguments with hubby all the time over BD (he has low sex drive and is generally not interested), but when I get a positive OPK I will do whatever it takes to get him BD (even if I have to basically rape him) regardless of how I feel I just change my mind set towards him because BD during the right time is the most important part. so we BD and then continue arguing (while I am lying with my legs up the wall&#8230. TTC and particularly LTTTC is one hell of a journey

sorry for the vent

tessjs, I would still try and BD if you can, you might still be with a chance, use preseed if you need more CM but definitely try to BD

OMG this
is how i feel too... My number one priority is get pregnant I don't care about my career .I'm sick of working at the moment..All I care about is having that baby.If its only one i am happy! I don't care if I just have one... I don't need two or three.. Its difficult when they don't get it... My hubby and I had a chat again lats night.I think generally he doesn't mean anything by it.WE BD'd last night actually after we made up after I ignored him all day...This whole journey is hard and I'm really only at the 3 month TTC mark.. i mean you know i see people on here for 1 year.. As I said my first appoint is with the cheaper clinic in march the best i can do with our finances..I am seeing acupuncture this friday to prepare myself..WE still have feb and most likely march to try alone but to be honest the stress around the fertile time just kills me its just a pain in the neck..Once I hav ethe baby I just want to take that time with the child an dthen think about returning to work...To get the baby if It means going through IVF then so be it... trying ourselves is so hard ..way tooo hard

I loved your post exactly my thoughts ..i could read it all day.. hope your okay

 

[sue123]

im 37 and been trying for 11 months round that . and i dont think ill give up till menopause lol. as people said it can and will happen.. have to keep positive hunnys

 

[Briss]

tessjs, well done on BD! let's hope this is your month.

AF got me today unfortunately so had to take it out on my poor DH. I am trying to get him to repeat his sperm test to see if we have made any progress and if not then we definitely should move to assisted conception. we have been TTC over 2 years. obviously it would have been much better to get pregnant naturally because any IVF/IUI have nasty side effects for a woman so if you have only been TTC 3 months I would give it more time to be honest, at least 6 months.

 

[tessjs]

tessjs, well done on BD! let's hope this is your month.

AF got me today unfortunately so had to take it out on my poor DH. I am trying to get him to repeat his sperm test to see if we have made any progress and if not then we definitely should move to assisted conception. we have been TTC over 2 years. obviously it would have been much better to get pregnant naturally because any IVF/IUI have nasty side effects for a woman so if you have only been TTC 3 months I would give it more time to be honest, at least 6 months.

Even at 38? and half LOL.... By the way I was in horrendous pain yesterday..I think I may have O'd .You see I don't now what that feels liek because I wa son teh pill for a million years...I had bad backpain and a slight pinkish brown discharge... it wa spretty nasty... so I have maybe pinpointed when I O.
The only thing is why didn't I feel it on my first period off BCP.. does that mean I never o"d .I did a blood test and they said that I did because of the progesterone rise..

Anyway still not feeling great.. feeling confused but have written al of this down so I know in my head what happened in January...Its great knowing what happened...

 

[Briss]

if progesterone increased it's definitely a sign of ovulation. it does not have to be painful actually. I sometimes feel it and at times it really hurts, other time I do not feel a thing. try temping for a couple of cycle it will give you a lot of info on your cycle and ovulation date. and yes 38 is not old considering that you just started TTC and have been on the pill (saving your eggs) it may take a few cycles to get back to normal before you can actually conceive. IVF is not an easy procedure so i would not rush into that.

 

[charm2mama]

I agree with Briss, for women over 35 you are considered "infertile" if you've been trying for 6 months. Considering you just got off the pill, it might be too early to worry. It can take a fertile couple up to 1 year to conceive. I think even with your hubby's issue, I think you still have a good chance to conceive if you are ovulating. So I would suggest continue to temp and BD until your FS appointment. Maybe you will get your BFP before your FS appointment!

if progesterone increased it's definitely a sign of ovulation. it does not have to be painful actually. I sometimes feel it and at times it really hurts, other time I do not feel a thing. try temping for a couple of cycle it will give you a lot of info on your cycle and ovulation date. and yes 38 is not old considering that you just started TTC and have been on the pill (saving your eggs) it may take a few cycles to get back to normal before you can actually conceive. IVF is not an easy procedure so i would not rush into that.

 

[hockey24]

While you've only just begun trying, I would definitely keep that FS appointment! I was on the pill for many years and stopped when I was 38 so we could try to conceive #1. For me, the BCP was masking symptoms to other issues. It took 1 1/2 years of TTC before we figured out that I had severe endometriosis and the odds of conceiving naturally were slim to none. I wish I would have sought help sooner as maybe my IVF cycles would have worked a year earlier. Who knows, maybe not.

I would definitely get a work up done by your FS in March just to be sure there are no issues. Information is key! Your FS may be able to run various tests and tell you that you are prime for conceiving and wouldn't that be a great relief!!

Good luck!!!

 

[hockey24]

Also, my doctors had me taking DHEA supplements and CoQ10 for at least 3 months to help with egg quality. Not sure if it works or not but it certainly cannot hurt!

Wishing you lots of luck as I know IVF is expensive and not always an option. I hope you get your sticky bean the old fashioned natural way!!

 

[tessjs]

Also, my doctors had me taking DHEA supplements and CoQ10 for at least 3 months to help with egg quality. Not sure if it works or not but it certainly cannot hurt!

Wishing you lots of luck as I know IVF is expensive and not always an option. I hope you get your sticky bean the old fashioned natural way!!

Yeah I'm on COQ but not sure about DHEA...

I hope i get a sticky bean too the old fashioned way...

 

[Bea Fertile]

Hi Tessys

Your 38 and a half is that all. You make yourself sound Soooooo ancient when in fact YOU ARE NOT!

There is plenty of time for you to still get pregnant. Please do not lose hope.

I think from the comments you have been making you have given up (that is half your battle LOST already before you are evening trying - sorry I don't mean to sound horrible but hun please do not give up) - all the power you have inside to change things you are giving away.

Sometimes just let it be - maybe for all you know you may have put so much pressure on yourself your insides are just fighting with the whole pressure of pregnancy!!!

The good thing is you are writing your feelings down and that is a good thing - don't keep it in that is what everyone is hear for - to listen - just let it out - it might just be a good thing.

We women are resilient at EVERYTHING and sometimes when we have just had ENOUGH! we will try once more - but you keep on trying and trying and trying ok.

Sorry for rambling and hope you are feeling a bit better to day - just go and do something that will make you a little more happier away from thinking babies - give yourself a break. :

Bea

 

[tessjs]

Hi Tessys

Your 38 and a half is that all. You make yourself sound Soooooo ancient when in fact YOU ARE NOT!

There is plenty of time for you to still get pregnant. Please do not lose hope.

I think from the comments you have been making you have given up (that is half your battle LOST already before you are evening trying - sorry I don't mean to sound horrible but hun please do not give up) - all the power you have inside to change things you are giving away.

Sometimes just let it be - maybe for all you know you may have put so much pressure on yourself your insides are just fighting with the whole pressure of pregnancy!!!

The good thing is you are writing your feelings down and that is a good thing - don't keep it in that is what everyone is hear for - to listen - just let it out - it might just be a good thing.

We women are resilient at EVERYTHING and sometimes when we have just had ENOUGH! we will try once more - but you keep on trying and trying and trying ok.

Sorry for rambling and hope you are feeling a bit better to day - just go and do something that will make you a little more happier away from thinking babies - give yourself a break. :

Bea

Thankyou, but unfortunaetly out there FS's are saying I am very old an ddon't have time left... that is the truth whether they are trying to scare me i dunno ...They are doing a lousy job as I was worried when I was 32 LOL some million years ago...I just really feel I am ready for a baby and its really difficult everywhere I go there are pregnant women I mean its everywhere... and you see all shapes and sizes as well..I have been waiting for years and years to try and have a baby and its really hard...

I had a long term broken relationship that nearly killed me.He dumped me at 36

To be honest i don't see alot of older ladies having bubs I see alot of twenty sumthings and i just feel I have misse dthe boat.I'm hoping this is my year and I truly am not going to give up because I want this soooooooooooooooooooooooo badly... you have no idea....

I am going to acupuncture this afternoon and hope to report on here anything i find out..i am a bit worried but have to do it...

 

[Bea Fertile]

I get where you are coming from I didn't mean to upset you in anyway, just wanted to drop a line to say just don't give up.

Hope your appointment goes well and you get something positive out of it.

All the best

Bea

 

[tessjs]

I get where you are coming from I didn't mean to upset you in anyway, just wanted to drop a line to say just don't give up.

Hope your appointment goes well and you get something positive out of it.

All the best

Bea

It didn't go well at acupuncture I am more depressed I put a post up about it if you wnat to respond I'd love to hear your thoughts Need a hug right now...

 

[Bea Fertile]

and

Bea