When is time to give up?

[terces]

My DH and I have only been TTC for 18 months. I just finished my 6th round of Clomid and it didn't work. I've ovulated twice on Clomid. Which for me means that I've ovulated 2 times in 18 months that I've been keeping track. Probably longer than that when I think back on my periods. Anyways I read on the Clomid med site that it shouldn't be taken for more than 6 cycles. I also recently started taking metformin.

I don't know where to go from here. We can get a referral to a specialist, but it's so expensive just to go to an appointment. Our insurance doesn't cover a thing for infertility. So, we are at a loss. Our other option is to adopt. My DH's job will assist with that. But, is it selfish to choose adoption for financial reasons?

This has really been hard and I never in a million years imagined that I would be in this spot. I'm sure that no one does. It's not something you grow up saying "wow, I can totally see myself having trouble becoming a parent."

Any advice on what to do next? I tried all month to be positive and even told myself a positive affirmation while I was going to sleep at night and throughout the day.

 

[Madgirl]

I am in a VERY SIMILAR situation. I also did 6 rounds of clomid and only ovulated twice. My OBGYN then in turn shuffled me out the door with phone numbers for specialists. Well that takes lots of money and it just hasnt ever happened. All I can tell you is follow what feels right to you. For me that means TTC naturally and saving my money for treatments one day. Hopefully you can find what feels right to you to.

 

[Madgirl]

I also want to add in a way I had to "give up". But only in the sense that I gave up pursuits of medical treatments. I havent given up trying naturally of course. It has helped me to look at it like medical treatments are just not an issue to consider and I just focus on trying naturally. When I start thinking about how I cant get medical treatment i get upset and feel defeated. Im rambling...sorry!

 

[terces]

I am in a VERY SIMILAR situation. I also did 6 rounds of clomid and only ovulated twice. My OBGYN then in turn shuffled me out the door with phone numbers for specialists. Well that takes lots of money and it just hasnt ever happened. All I can tell you is follow what feels right to you. For me that means TTC naturally and saving my money for treatments one day. Hopefully you can find what feels right to you to.

Thanks. I would love to carry my own child, but I am almost 30 and my DH is 35. I know the longer we wait the more trouble we will have. So confused. I hope that you are able to get your BFP and have a healthy pregnancy and baby.

 

[Madgirl]

I am in a VERY SIMILAR situation. I also did 6 rounds of clomid and only ovulated twice. My OBGYN then in turn shuffled me out the door with phone numbers for specialists. Well that takes lots of money and it just hasnt ever happened. All I can tell you is follow what feels right to you. For me that means TTC naturally and saving my money for treatments one day. Hopefully you can find what feels right to you to.

Thanks. I would love to carry my own child, but I am almost 30 and my DH is 35. I know the longer we wait the more trouble we will have. So confused. I hope that you are able to get your BFP and have a healthy pregnancy and baby.

I understand how you feel I am 33 and DH just turned 40. The whole time thing certainly makes everything more pressed.

 

[Armywife84]

I agree with keep on trucking naturally. Don't give that up. If you're hitting a roadblock when it comes to progressing any further (we're sitting at that point too) then you can spin your wheels for a while till you save up money for the specialist's visits and alternative treatments that are to follow.

Our insurance doesn't cover any fertility treatments either, but I am exploring other options my gyno recommended that is supposed to help with my endo. We definitely can't afford IVF unless we saved for quite a while, and adoption is just out of the question with it being $25,000. IUIs are affordable, but we're still going to need some time to save for them. Worst case scenario for me would be accepting being childless, which I hope it never gets to that point.

Just make a rough plan of where you want this to go and try to stick with it. Also factor in that life happens. Your very last lifeline would be adoption. It's certainly not selfish to want to be a mother one way or another and take advantage of what your insurance provides you with.

 

[uwa_amanda]

I am about to be in the same boat you ladies are in. If, by June, I am not pregnant, that will be the end of the road for us as to where medical treatments are concerned. My insurance covers nothing in regards to infertility and I get no assistance with adoption. We can't afford either. We will just be a childless couple NTNP unless something happens. We shall see though.

to you...hopefully, you'll get your

 

[aintlifegrand]

I actually had this conversation with my husband today. I'm doing IUI twice and I'm throwing in the towel. The Clomid makes me a little crazy and my patience is done.

 

[Rigi.kun]

It's hard staying positive when things aren't working out (especially when it comes to finances and doctors)
Remember little miracles do happen. My mum suffered from fertility issues and I was produced by some medical help. However she tried to naturally conceive my little sister for 3 years (this was when she was 34yrs old). She gave up and was NTNP, shortly after her 39th birthday she fell pregnant and had a healthy baby girl.

 

[lisap2008]

I understand I have been TTC on and off sence 2007 and I am done with fertility meds as they dont really do much for me , I ovulate on my own its just DH's sperm count is low . and a psychic told me there is a spiritual block of some sort . just about ready to throw in the towel again.

 

[Niki_V]

I am kind of in the same situation as far as TTC. Luckily, my DH's insurance covers infertility treatments up to a lifetime max of $20,000 (which in the scheme of things means MAYBE one IVF treatment).

This last cycle was my 6th round of clomid in the last year. We have been TTC since 2008, with a year break to loose weight (DR said it would help with PCOS and my fertility). Been a 18 months since the break.

I struggle constantly on whether or not to go another round and how far do we want to take it. For me it has been such an emotional roller coaster with all the complications we keep having. I have one child, but my DH and I always wanted a big family. The way things look and feel right now, I would say one is all we get.

 

[wanting2010]

Does your insurance cover testing and diagnosis of infertility? If it does, that's a big help right there.

I don't have coverage for infertility treatments, but I can see my RE and only have to pay my copay. I think he bills my visits as being for PCOS and not infertility.

I would check with your insurance to see if testing is covered and also check to see if a specialist might bill your insurance under something other than the diagnosis of infertility to help get them to pay.

 

[terces]

Does your insurance cover testing and diagnosis of infertility? If it does, that's a big help right there.

I don't have coverage for infertility treatments, but I can see my RE and only have to pay my copay. I think he bills my visits as being for PCOS and not infertility.

I would check with your insurance to see if testing is covered and also check to see if a specialist might bill your insurance under something other than the diagnosis of infertility to help get them to pay.

I'm not 100% on that one. I will have to call them and see for sure if they will at least cover the diagnosis part. They cover up to 5,000 lifetime max for meds like clomid.

 

[Tiki]

I don't think I can ever give up completely. I am only 23 and have been trying for nearly 5 years. If I am not pregnant by the time I am 27, I will give up with medical treatments and probably move to adopt an older child. In Florida it is free of cost for a couple to adopt a child in the system, plus the child will recieve benefits through the medicaid system for life etc. It seems like a good option for us.

 

[scoobydrlp]

I'm sort of in a similar situation. On my 4th round of Clomid (that's all my Ob/gyn will allow me), and if I don't get pregnant this cycle I'm not sure what to do. I don't ovulate on my own, or at least not consistantly, and hubby had 0% morphology on his SA. However we did get pregnant my first cycle on Clomid, but miscarried. Our insurance will cover a portion of infertility treatment (60% I think), but only after we pay our $4500 deductable. I don't know if we'll go to the RE or not at this point. I'm just hoping for a BFP this cycle so I won't have to worry about it!

 

[nevernormal]

I have NO insurance at all. I'm on my 4th round of clomid (took 3 rounds last year and then took a break). I think if you take a break on clomid you can try again later. After all, I've heard of women who have one clomid baby and then use it when they start trying for the next one!

Not having any insurance, clomid is the end of the line for us as medical TTC goes. BUT we would continue NTNP forever.

Also, regarding adoption, there is always the foster-to-adopt option through your state. It's not for everyone, I realize, but it's the cheapest adoption option, and if DH and I decided to pursue adoption that is the route I would want to go (we don't have 25K for IVF or to adopt!) I don't think it's selfish to go the more financially conservative route to parenthood. The less resources you spend getting there, the better you'll be able to care for that child once it's yours (whether by birth or adoption). Just think if you adopted though, and then got pregnant, would you love both children as your own?? If the answer is yes, then go ahead and forge on with adoption! If you're not sure or the answer is no, then maybe it would be best to wait until you know you could do that.