When Ranting Goes Too Far

[Sarahkka]

I am very embarrassed to share that yesterday I took the righteous pregnant ranting way too far. I was listening to our local radio and the news had a piece on pigeons becoming a real pest problem and they interviewed this twit of an exterminator who declared that pigeons will have up to 600, 000 offspring in their lifetime.
Now I am a professional naturalist and a complete nature nut and an out of control bird nerd at the best of times, but add a little preggo to the mix and I became a complete madwoman. I obsessed about this fact all day, sure that it must be wrong and that this guy was spreading pigeon falsehoods. I was distracted during prenatal pilates by trying to estimate the reproductive rates of pigeons in my head. And finally, I got home and spent an hour and a half researching pigeons and their mating habits online and cross-referencing them with my hefty collection of bird books. I then sat down and worked out a pigeon reproduction formula and... this is the worst part... rather than confine my insanity to the privacy of my own home, I WROTE A SCATHING EMAIL in to the radio show, telling them what an ignoramus their pigeon exterminator was and challenging him to back up his statement!!!! Oh my god, I think it was about five pages long and included all my calculations and a whole section on Interesting Facts About Pigeons and why extermination isn't the answer.
Today I am blushing to the tips of my ears as I realize how out of control my ranting has become.
I mean, seriously, pigeons?
Not homelessness or world hunger or anything like that?
Nope.
Pigeons and their persecution.
I need help. Is there a support group out there for rantoholics?
Sigh.
Well, maybe the pigeons will get some good out of all this.
They usually read the mail on the air on Friday, so I guess I have a few days before I'll be too embarrassed to step outside.

 

[Nikkinoonoo]

Lol that made me chuckle! xXx

 

[polo_princess]

uh oh dont listen to the radio on friday!!

 

[sam's mum]

Good on you!! I'd have been the same... bit of a bird lover x

 

[masi]

Blame it on the hormones. Works everytime.
I too must confess i am a rantaholic

 

[Younglutonmum]

Oh god that made me chuckle!!!

 

[Uvlollypop]

haha thats awesome i wonder if youll get a reply!

 

[maybebaby]

I'm sorry but

 

[elm]

I think that's fantastic!! You tell them!!! SOP (Save Our Pigeons)! I hope they make that pigeon 'expert' explain himself!

Rant away, I think it's great x

 

[Sarahkka]

Oh, and if anybody cares...
Without including mortality rates of chicks, and assuming two successful eggs per clutch laid every 45 days for the average life span of 8 years, pigeons would be lucky to produce 129 offspring in their lifetime.
And they are actually really smart and are used in search and rescue missions at sea.
Holy crap! I still can't let it go!

 

[Uvlollypop]

haaahahahaaa

 

[redberry3]

hehehehe.
you are the best!!!

 

[CamoQueen]

Wow, I never knew that about pigeons! I don't know if I ever wanted to know that about pigeons, but now I do, and you've taught me something new.

The whole thing is pretty funny! I say listen in and see if your crazy ranting pigeon letter makes it on air!!!

 

[Sarahkka]

Ummm, it actually gets worse.
I neglected to mention that I had already written another rant to the same radio show the day before that.
At least that one was just a polite paragraph about my opposition to closure of a local farmer's market.
I almost feel like writing them one more email explaining that I am pregnant and do not usually feel such a constant need to share my overly passionate opinions about everything.
And last week, I told off two different contact lens places for having stupid policies.
It's been building to pigeon level for awhile.

 

[enigma]

OMG, hahahahaha

 

[PeanutBean]

It says a lot about me that I was most concerned to establish what the breeding rate of pigeons really is! I'm glad you posted that too! lol

Have you done the one where preg brain means you just think someone said something and argued with them only to find you have assumed they said the opposite of what they really said?

I HATE being so fallible, I can't get used to it...

 

[CamoQueen]

Hahahaha, "building to pigeon level"!!!!

Ahhhh, that cracks me up. Thanks for the laugh. Hopefully they won't even think that the two letters came from the same woman... I mean, since the tone/length was so very different. Maybe if they read your letter(s) on air you can write a letter explaining the circumstances; if not, I would leave it for now and maybe listen to a different -- not so infuriating -- radio station!

 

[Sarahkka]

All I can say is that this is one of those times I am very grateful that my name is Sarah Smith. There are literally millions of us out there. Maybe I can blame it on another Sarah Smith?
One who also likes pigeons and the farmer's market?
And I don't know if I can stay away from that station... I'm a news junkie and I've listened to it most of my adult life.
Maybe I'd better for the baby's sake.
Besides, I'll be too busy leading the Save Our Pigeons group to write in to the radio anymore. As if the show hasn't already got my email address flagged as Total Crackpot.

 

[Sarahkka]

It says a lot about me that I was most concerned to establish what the breeding rate of pigeons really is! I'm glad you posted that too! lol

Have you done the one where preg brain means you just think someone said something and argued with them only to find you have assumed they said the opposite of what they really said?

I HATE being so fallible, I can't get used to it...

Not yet, but I'm sure it's in the mail.
And that I'll do it in the most embarrassing public situation possible!

 

[AnnaBanana9]

Oh Sarah, I think that's BRILLIANT!!! Save Our Pigeons!

Love it - you really brightened my day. Thank you!