When to bring younger siblings to the hospital?

[faith2015]

As I feel this pregnancy is flying by, I begin to question 15 weeks from now!

When is it safe to bring your 6 year old to the hospital to meet her brother?

What special things has anyone did for their 1st child to make them feel special?

Who did you get to watch your first while you delivered?
(Both of my moms want to be there of course )

 

[Al Syr]

When I was delivering my second. My first 19 months or so at the time stayed in the delivery room until after I delivered. He fell asleep during the whole thing though. when it was over my mother in law took him home and then she brought him back the next morning. This time I really don't know if they will enjoy being in delivery room as they may be aware of what is going on and possibly get scared. I think my mother in law may be here again for this delivery, if she is she will be with them and I already told my husband he can go home at night, I can stay alone at the hospital with new baby since it is only a 24 hr stay.

 

[NennaKay]

Following this post... My little girl will be 2.5 when the new baby gets here and I'd love to hear what parents have done in the past!

 

[jlw617]

We didn't live near family for the birth of my second so my pastor and his wife took our little one for us while I was in the hospital they brought her to come and visit the next day which I think is good because it gives you a little time to get settled in after just have given birth, you need time to rest after baby is here honestly I didn't do anything for dd 1 when dd2 was born, she was 3 and I really wasn't familiar with that whole thing which I'm not against at all but at the same time I don't feel it's always a necessity...though depending on personality and age, it's definitely something you should consider, this time around I am going to get them something special but I'm going to to get them something that emphasizes sibling love if that makes sense, I'm not one for "here's a present because I want you to feel special and not left out" though I do want my children to feel special, I don't want to create a feeling of entitlement (don't know if that makes sense lol) I'll probably get them big sister necklaces and a goodie bag with candy/coloring books

*please don't take my post as judgemental towards anyone who participates in this, this is just my personal feelings for my children

 

[CandiceSj]

My parents live on the other side of the street from the hospital so they took my 4.5 year old daughter in the evening after Halloween when contactions were starting to be stronger. I had my son around 7am the next morning and I believe my daughter came right away when she was up, after breakfast.

Since the trip is just a walk across the street, it's not really a big deal, they could enter, notice it's a bad time and turn right around, or stay for 5 mins only if they wanted. I remember it working out well with my daughter visiting her baby brother. She says now (at 8) that she remembers him not being really cute before his first bath because he was kinda gooey with some blood LOL

 

[faith2015]

My DD will be 6 years old. My mother is telling me to allow her to be there and I am the one questioning it all. I am going to try and VBAC but you never know what could happen. I just don't want to get down to it and push her out of the room, I also don't want her missing any school if its during that time.

Do I have a friend come and stay with her in the waiting room?? Ahhh so many questions lol

jlw617 - no no no I totally get it!! So far the only thing I got DD is a Big Sister shirt, coloring books and new crayons (because we have no clue how long she will be waiting! )

 

[kitchenware]

My eldest was 2 when youngest was born. My parents took her out to Lego land and had a really good time whilst I was in labour. I was in hospital 24 hours after dd2 was born, and parents brought my eldest to the hospital to come and meet her sister just before we were leaving so we could all go home together. It was nice, but it was the first time I had been away from my eldest and she was a bit shifty with me for having left her for 48 hours at first but was fine after a bit. Hospitals and labour are a bit scary for littlies, I wouldn't bring them in for labour! Also, it's a really difficult time for them, I think having someone who they are comfortable with being with them is a more important job than being with me in labour. The newborn won't know or care who is about...

 

[gumb69]

My lo was 3years 3 months when my son was born. I was in hospital for 2 nights. I only got her to come in the day we came home. Dh brought her in and we all went home together,I was afraid she would think I was choosing to stay with the new baby in hospital. I missed her like mad. I'll do the same this time.

 

[Mushymilkfor2]

My mil will have my first, he'll only be 15 months when this one comes, so while he won't really know what's going on he's a big mommys boy and won't want to leave me alone. I think he'll be too distracting and stressful for me to have in there too much.

 

[Misscalais]

We didn't do anything special my 1st baby was only 14 months when we had his brother and we went home 6 hours after birth, so he didn't come to the hospital. My mum drove 6 hours and stayed with us to look after him. I only like to have hubby with me when i give birth. 3rd bub hubby brought them to the hospital in afternoon visiting hours. My DS1 was so pleased and just adored DS3, DS2 didn't want a bar of him until he was about 4 weeks old lol again my mum drove up to stay with us to mind the boys.

 

[Spudtastic]

My daughter will be nearly 3 when her sister arrives. I am hoping that my in laws will come to stay at our house and look after her when i go into labour as we have a three hour drive to the hospital. I also only like hubby with me in labour. Things got very painful and stressful with dd1 so I don't want dd1 to see her mummy in pain and possibly stressed. She is also very clingy and would want to be sitting on me whilst I gave birth which would be too much.

To make my daughter feel special I have been including her in the preparation for a new baby. We have read books about the baby in my tummy. She can't wait to change the baby's nappy. Nearer the time DD1 and I are going to make a present for DD2 - I'm not sure yet, perhaps a photo frame and then take a photo of my two baby girls together. I do have a present for DD1 from the new baby. I have bought a doll that cries etc etc as my daughter just loves to look after babies. I thought she could look after her doll and I the new baby. I also don't like my daughter to have a sense of entitlement but I think a present from her sister is a lovely idea. I also plan to include dd as much as possible, for example when I am bf newbie I can also cuddle dd1 at the same time (under the other arm) if she wants to.

 

[faith2015]

This is another thing that I am worried and stressed about is hubby has a serious hospital and doctor phobia to the point where he passes out at any given moment.

To give you an idea on how it all happened, at the beginning of our relationship, I had a scare and had to have a biopsy done on tissue in my breast. Well after my doctor appointment I called him to let him know that I did have to do a biopsy and i scheduled it for the following week. He told me he had to get off the phone and he called me right back. Well an hour goes by and I finally get a call and it was the police stating my hubby blacked out behind the wheel and totaled his car and he was on his way to the hospital.

So its been about 2 years now, and he has seen multiple therapists and all they can say is he has severe panic disorder . Every doctor appointment he has attacks and he has to take anxiety pills for this and he is still sweating, leaving the room, shaking, and playing on his phone to try and keep his mind off of things.

My DD was breech so my OB told me I have a high risk of another c section. So my hubby has already told my mom that she is the one that has to be with me during that surgery because there will be no way he would be able to make it.

If I am able to VBAC then my hubby has already prepared me to get use to just my mom because he will be either A. blacked out B. in the waiting room C. in a hospital bed getting treated for an attack.

My MIL has already stated that she wants to be there, but little does she know I dont want her there!!!! I do not want her in the room AT ALL.

I JUST WANT MY HUBBY AND I I am so heartbroken and lost because I have no clue what I am going to do with my DD or my hubby

 

[lozzy21]

Women have homebirths with VBACS? I'm not sure if that's a possibility in your State?

 

[faith2015]

I am not sure if I want to do a home birth if they would even allow me to. I wouldn't feel safe, and if something goes wrong I want all the proper doctors and equipment to be available.

 

[Nerdy]

My DS will be 2 years and 1 month old almost to the day when this baby is brought into the world. OB is saying we're doing another C-Section as she doesn't want to leave anything to chance with a VBAC, and I can't really blame her. I had a great experience with my first C and I've definitely resigned myself to having an additional C. My mother and sister both live nearby, I have numerous friends, everyone's more than willing to watch my son, but I HATE to think about him being left out of this experience. As it is my greatest concern is making sure he doesn't feel pushed aside by the new baby and this little boy is the type that would fight to stay awake until I got home from work (sometimes as late as 11pm) and then would crash, so I don't know how well he's going to handle me not being home to say goodnight. I ask myself; is it possible to have him stay in a pack n play at night? And then I remind myself that this is a toddler we're talking about. They like to run wild and free, so maybe it IS best that someone take him for the night.

I have to say that I DO want him there as soon as I'm moved into my room and I want him to be one of the first to greet his new sibling. Has to happen. I also plan on including him in any baby shower I have and I plan on getting him a big brother shirt and other fun sibling stuff to keep him occupied during surgery.

 

[seaweed eater]

I was 6 when my brother was born and I have fond memories of his birth! I went to sleep over at a friend's house when my mother was in labor. It was all very exciting to me. He was born at night and I think I went to the hospital the next day. My parents gave me a gift "from him" (I knew it wasn't from him but it was still sweet). I thought he was so cute and loved the way he would wrap his hand around my finger. I remember sitting in the backseat riding home with him when it was time for them to come home.

It sounds like you are up against a lot with your DH, but in terms of your daughter, I think the transition can go quite smoothly for a 6 year old so I would be optimistic about how it will go!

 

[lozzy21]

I am not sure if I want to do a home birth if they would even allow me to. I wouldn't feel safe, and if something goes wrong I want all the proper doctors and equipment to be available.

It's not up to them really and they still have all the resus equipment there. It's not like your left on own.

 

[Cookie1979]

I think it all depends on when I deliver, I really don't know who will look after my son. Ideally I'm thinking my Dad, depending on whether he has to work, if not then the in laws. I think between them they could look after him, my son can stay over his Grandads house. He'll come in after baby is born, if it's at a decent time he'll come in same day, if not then the next day. Will see how it goes really...my son will be 5 by the time baby arrives. Not sure on a present but would like to get a present for my son, just need to decide on what.

 

[BunNtheOven]

Oh wow. Three hour drive to the hospital?? Thats nuts! I'm almost afraid to let my DD come see us. I'm afraid shell throw a fit when its time to leave. She will be staying at her grandparents house. My hospital is only 25 minutes but I have another one thats only 8 minutes away if I had an emergency ( my doctor doesn't go to that one).

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I think it depends on the type of delivery and if anything goes wrong.

My first two are 20 months apart and my daughter didn't meet her little brother until he was 4 days old because he was in NICU (he was full term). She would have met him the same day he was born if he hadn't stopped breathing at three hours old.

My third child was a very smooth delivery and we all went home when she was 3 hours old. They met her at 4 hours old.

My fourth ended up being an emergency csection due to cord prolapse. My older three came to visit when he was 2 days old, and as much as I loved seeing them because I missed them, I was just still so exhausted and in pain and didn't have the patience for them to be there. We got our first family photo, and then I asked my friend to take them back home. It was another week before I had them come home, but the baby and I went over to visit quite often.

I'm planning a csection this time, and hopefully will feel better and more relaxed so I can have them there the day she's born, perhaps after school. If not, I'll play it by ear and see how we both feel.