When to have baby shower?

[Wombat]

I WANT A BABY SHOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But there is no one tho throw me one

 

[Septie]

Haha, Wombat, me too!! But I don't think I'll have one either
Our families live far away, OH and I are in a long distance commuting relationship at the moment, and hence have no "real" home, and all of my colleagues at work are men (I am almost twenty weeks and still haven't announced - though it will be obvious soon enough). Plus, my best girlfriend lives on another continent...

 

[starah]

I'm having my first one when I'll be 8 1/2 months, then a few more during my eighth month. I will also be having couple after the baby is born.

 

[Lisalovesbean]

I don't actually believe in the baby shower thing........I think that the parent to be should provide all the necessaties for their child and not expect their families and friends to pay the bill! I personally just find them very forward and a bit pressurising and I am firmly of the belief that if you are becoming a parent then step up to the mark and buy your own stuff!

Of course, it's nice to be given gifts but I just disagree with the expectancy of them when it comes to showers and I would never expect somebody else to buy my nursery furniture, pram, cot etc!

 

[IrishBaby1109]

Obviously it's MUCH too early for me to have one now but I was just thinking about this.

Right now we are extremely financially unstable, as I was laid off from work about one month ago. My family doesn't know I'm pregnant yet, although they have already told me they will help as much as they can with everything, they know we're not having an easy time of things.

So of course I HOPE I am able to get a job! But it's already been a month, and once I start showing... well I would not be surprised if no one will hire me.

Enough of that, I am asking about baby showers!! I want to know how early is TOO early to reasonably have one? I think most women have it in their last month, is that correct? But I don't really want to wait til the last minute like that... because I really don't know what people are going to be able to afford to buy for us. So I want to have more than a couple weeks to be able to obtain whatever else we need, before baby arrives!

Do you think maybe at 7 months would be okay? Like in September, for me... I am due at the end of October.

Also, do you always have to have someone else plan the shower for you? Or would it be appropriate to plan it ourselves? We would rather have a co-ed shower/get together rather than the typical women only.

I'm due in November and am having a co-ed in mid-Sept by the pool. It's going to be a barbeque and shower, but I'm not really girly and I think most baby showers, sucked. I have gone to so many and thought they were so ridiculously boring!!! I don't want people to watch me open all the gifts, as I think it's tacky and wastful of time. I'd rather have a party where all my loved ones and friends are there - having a good time socializing. I don't have any desire for the dumb baby games, baby theme activities, etc... I would rather have everyone come together that I want to see, as I know once winter and the baby come, it's harder to just socialize. I will have it at my parent's house, with the cabana where the gifts will be, with few baby "things" that I have read and thought were amusing... but other than that, I'll be in the pool!!! I have read about the "etiquette" crap but I think it's bogus. I am working with my mother and friend to throw the shower, but I'll be doing most of it. I have talked to many friends who had babies and through their own shower- as that etiquette guidelines are so outdated, it doesn't matter anymore. Have a good day with people you enjoy, screw what anyone else thinks!!

 

[djgirl1976]

Wow, I never knew that people were so strongly against baby showers. Every single friend I have has had one, thrown by us girls with some help from family. Of course, that is really who was in attendance, anyway. Typically those that would buy for the baby if not invited.
I don't mind buying for a new baby at all. I think it's fun.
Usually they are in month 7 or so, I think.
I hadn't really thought about not having a shower. Although, I have some friends and my sister who are already talking about it, so I won't be doing any of the planning, other than offering my help.
Oh, but I wouldn't invite any guys. Most of the ones that I know would take no interest in it at all, and DH says he wouldn't go, so there's that.

 

[TigerLady]

Sorry, but I am personally not a fan of baby showers. I don't usually enjoy them and don't want to make anyone suffer through one for me.

So, I think I have decided to have a "Welcome Baby Home" cookout instead. I figure about 2-3 weeks after Otter is here, we'll have a big cookout at our house or a local park. It will be co-ed and family friendly. Come one, come all! Meet the baby. Hang out and have fun. Bring a gift if you want, but not required!

 

[tasha41]

I LOVEEEE GOING TO BABY SHOWERS, BRIDAL SHOWERS, ETC...

so if anyone ever has one.. INVITE ME!! lol.. I love the games, and I'm good

 

[letia659]

well wow some people are really against showers but I am only against a shower for 2nd or 3rd etc child because I was always told that the shower is only for the 1st child in a family and it is very nice as babies are expensive. I had my shower with my son a week before I was in my last month and if I hadnt I would have already had him as I went in to have him right after my shower so I recommend having the shower before the last month as if any complications should arise you will still be able to attend. but of course my mom was the one to give me the shower you arent supposed to give yourself one but these days I guess its different. but I live in a town that a lot of people didnt show up to give me gifts because they knew I had gotten pregnant before my wedding so if that tells you anything about where Im from! I wont be having a shower this time but my mom and close family are already offering to help with the expenses as all my baby stuff burned in a fire. I do think everyone deserves a shower for their firstborn even if it means doing it yourself but hopefully you can find a friend to help! good luck to you!

 

[bjl1981]

I'm planning mine for 4th July (due on 30th July) and I'm doing it myself because I'm a control freak!

 

[starah]

well wow some people are really against showers but I am only against a shower for 2nd or 3rd etc child because I was always told that the shower is only for the 1st child in a family and it is very nice as babies are expensive. I had my shower with my son a week before I was in my last month and if I hadnt I would have already had him as I went in to have him right after my shower so I recommend having the shower before the last month as if any complications should arise you will still be able to attend. but of course my mom was the one to give me the shower you arent supposed to give yourself one but these days I guess its different. but I live in a town that a lot of people didnt show up to give me gifts because they knew I had gotten pregnant before my wedding so if that tells you anything about where Im from! I wont be having a shower this time but my mom and close family are already offering to help with the expenses as all my baby stuff burned in a fire. I do think everyone deserves a shower for their firstborn even if it means doing it yourself but hopefully you can find a friend to help! good luck to you!

OOOH it drives me nuts when people have showers for kids other than their first!!!! I refuse to go to those lol. Honestly the only reason I'm having showers for this one even is more so for the baby's grandparents (they're SO excited) and for the people throwing the showers

 

[djgirl1976]

Maybe I just have a close group of friends. There are about 7 or 8 of us that are pretty good friends. They have had showers for 2nd kids and it didn't bother me. This is my first, but I guess my feeling is, if you don't want to go, or buy a gift, then just don't. I imagine if you make your feelings clear ahead of time, you won't be invited.

 

[letia659]

well wow some people are really against showers but I am only against a shower for 2nd or 3rd etc child because I was always told that the shower is only for the 1st child in a family and it is very nice as babies are expensive. I had my shower with my son a week before I was in my last month and if I hadnt I would have already had him as I went in to have him right after my shower so I recommend having the shower before the last month as if any complications should arise you will still be able to attend. but of course my mom was the one to give me the shower you arent supposed to give yourself one but these days I guess its different. but I live in a town that a lot of people didnt show up to give me gifts because they knew I had gotten pregnant before my wedding so if that tells you anything about where Im from! I wont be having a shower this time but my mom and close family are already offering to help with the expenses as all my baby stuff burned in a fire. I do think everyone deserves a shower for their firstborn even if it means doing it yourself but hopefully you can find a friend to help! good luck to you!

OOOH it drives me nuts when people have showers for kids other than their first!!!! I refuse to go to those lol. Honestly the only reason I'm having showers for this one even is more so for the baby's grandparents (they're SO excited) and for the people throwing the showers

yeah my mom just did my shower without me saying anything as my son was her first grandkid so of course she got all excited and threw me a shower but only close friends and family attended. my bigger items came from my mom, brother, grandparents (my son was their first greatgrandbaby so you can imagine their excitement),and aunt who is like a sister to me. so it was mostly family that were so excited I didnt ask for or expect anything. I didnt even register. but I have a friend that is pregnant now with her second to and its her fiances first so I know they will have a shower and I dont know how to handle it as she is my best friend so I guess I will have to go but I dont agree with it as I know she has all her stuff from her last baby and is in need for nothing! I dont go to them usually but this is a tricky situation as I am so close to her (friends since kindergarten).

 

[Wombat]

Haha, Wombat, me too!! But I don't think I'll have one either
Our families live far away, OH and I are in a long distance commuting relationship at the moment, and hence have no "real" home, and all of my colleagues at work are men (I am almost twenty weeks and still haven't announced - though it will be obvious soon enough). Plus, my best girlfriend lives on another continent...

Both me and my DH work from home, we moved not long ago to the new county (100 miles away from where we lived before), my mum lives abroad his dad and his wife lives in Australia and his my has passed away. And, we don't have any friends around. So, I am not getting any!

 

[Sherileigh]

I don't actually believe in the baby shower thing........I think that the parent to be should provide all the necessaties for their child and not expect their families and friends to pay the bill! I personally just find them very forward and a bit pressurising and I am firmly of the belief that if you are becoming a parent then step up to the mark and buy your own stuff!

Of course, it's nice to be given gifts but I just disagree with the expectancy of them when it comes to showers and I would never expect somebody else to buy my nursery furniture, pram, cot etc!

Hmm....here we're not expecting people to pay for our children...most of us are perfectly able to pay for the stuff we need ourselves. And no shower that I've been to would ever come close to getting everything you need. Here we usually have them after the baby is born...it's a celebration of this new little life. People can buy whatever they want, spend as little as they want...it's just a nice gesture. You get a few little outfits, maybe a group of co-workers may chip in and buy a bigger item. But most of the stuff I need for my baby is purchased by myself and my OH.

 

[tasha41]

Hmm....here we're not expecting people to pay for our children...most of us are perfectly able to pay for the stuff we need ourselves. And no shower that I've been to would ever come close to getting everything you need. Here we usually have them after the baby is born...it's a celebration of this new little life. People can buy whatever they want, spend as little as they want...it's just a nice gesture. You get a few little outfits, maybe a group of co-workers may chip in and buy a bigger item. But most of the stuff I need for my baby is purchased by myself and my OH.

Agreed MOST shower gifts are just clothes, toys, and "gifty things" like photo albums, picture frames, piggy banks, blankets, stuffed animals, etc.

 

[TigerLady]

Showers are actually very expected here. Just yesterday I had to swear to my boss that I didn't really want a traditional shower because she wanted to throw me one. She kept looking at me like she thought I was lying to her about not wanting one.

And even though I will have a sorta-shower (welcome baby home party) and welcome gifts, I certainly don't expect it. It is almost more for the people that give the gifts. They love to see the baby in an outfit or blanket they got for him/her. I have already bought my nursery furniture, pram, bouncer, etc. I wouldn't really want someome to pick those things out for me anyway -- I'm too particular about what I want when it comes to the big stuff.

 

[Emma1980]

I want one! i'm off to bug the 3987343 adoptive aunties-to-be about it

 

[bjl1981]

In the UK baby showers are just a bit of fun. No gifts are expected really, or certainly not at the showers I've been to. I'm not even mentioning gifts to the people attending mine, because its more just about getting the girls together and having a fun night before the baby's born!

 

[Duffy]

I won't be having a shower as I don't know enough people to put one on, my parents want to buy the crib set and a bunch of other basics so I'll be set before the baby even born.