When what you're doing is no longer working and you can't find alternatives to CC/CIO

[becstar]

Since we had to put the side of La's cot back on she has struggled to go to sleep by herself in the evening. When the side was off she used to crawl about her cot and the edge of my bed until she got tired out and fell asleep. Since the side went on she won't do it in her cot as she bangs her head, plus her natural impulse seems to be to pull herself up to standing using the bars and she wakes up fully and cries. Laying her down just makes her more and more upset.

So now she has her bath and gets in her pjs, plays quietly in the lounge for a bit then goes to the bedroom. I try to feed her but she climbs all over the place and mucks about and takes ages and ages to take any milk. She will twist and turn whilst on the boob and then crawl off laughing, then pull herself up the outside of her cot and bang the rungs etc. It can take an hour to get a decent amount of milk in her. Then she clambers about some more and usually eventually flops back and falls asleep. She won't do this in her cot, she just pulls herself up and starts to moan and cry.

Sometimes I can lay her in her cot, put a blanket on her and she pulls it over her head a few times then goes to sleep. It's magic when I can but it isn't often and it's usually after an hour or so of mucking about. I don't have a problem with bedtime taking a while, it used to take 45+ minutes to give her a good long breastfeed so I don't mind but this is just getting silly.

When she wakes in the night (a lot) the only way she will go back to sleep is to feed her... The other night when she was ill she wouldn't feed but would snuggle and go back off but normally she needs boob. But recently she mucks about in the night too and will want to crawl about and play for up to an hour and I'm getting so tired.

The only thing anyone seems to be able to recommend is CC/CIO which I know I couldn't stick at, she cries and cries and starts to choke and gag if she's upset for a long time. I can't bear to hear her cry like that.


The main problem is she just seems so tired lately - she's cranky and irritable and she never ever used to be like that. She won't have 2 naps in the day any more, just one, and it has got shorter (used to be 1.5-2 hours, now maybe it lasts an hour). I've tried putting her to bed much earlier (by 6pm) but she then just wakes at 5am for the day after a wakeful night.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I don't think anyone will, because when it's this complicated the easiest option is CC isn't it? But I don't think I can do it.

 

[hopedance]

i can't do cc either. i just can't. sam messes around at bedtime too, but only sometimes, on average he'll do it once or twice a week, but never for longer than about 45 mins. the rest of the time he's out within 15 mins. but i really don't uderstand why? he won't sleep in a cot at all though, this is when he's in bed with us. when sometimes he wakes up in the night and won't go back to sleep, i just let him play by himself on the floor and i go back to sleep. we have baby proofed the whole room though, so he is safe. usually he eventually comes back to bed and i'll wake up with him flopped across the arch of my back, or across the backs of my knees lol. you have my hugest sympathy though that you get this every night, i am in awe that you've been handling it like this for so long, when sam does it i get really grumpy.

in the day time, where and when does she nap? do you put her down in her cot?

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

You also have my hugest sympathies. Getting Ruby to bed is usually the best part of an hour or more, and has been like that since 10 months, although we are seeing some improvement in that she now doesn't always need me in the room. I have found having the radio on low while she is settling has helped a little. The lighter evenings don't help at all! When it is darker outside we have noticeably less fuss. Have you read 'The no cry sleep solution' by Elizabeth Pantley? She advocates a more baby led approach than most sleep 'training' books which might be better for you. But maybe you have already read it!

 

[candyfloss]

We've had issues with William and sleep too, sometimes bedtime takes an age, and he rarely goes off on his own. I've done a softly softly approach and now I can get him sleepy with bf and then hold him for a few minutes and lie him down while he's sleepy, doesn't always work and sometimes there's tears, but many nights now I don't even need to keep my hand on him, just stand in the room.

Last night he had the longest stretch he's ever had at night - 6 hours! I'd noticed that when he sleeps with me at my parents he's not half as restless as in his cot, so have put a thin pillow in for him to rest his head on a snuggle in and seems to be working! First night he did 4 hours, then 5 then 6 last night! Hoping it continues!

If he mucks around loads at bedtime I just leave the room as bedtime is not for playing. He's more liekly to mess about if he's not tired too so bedtime is flexible for us, any time from 6:15 - 7:15. He has either 1 long sleep a day or 2 short ones which are less than an hour in total, but think he's always had less than average daytime sleep!

Think I've gone off topic a bit (sorry!) but if she mucks around at bedtime I'd ignore her and leave the room, William will complain but not scream (can't do cc/cio either) and will stop complaining to play with his toys, then complain again, then I'll hear he's getting tired after about 10-15 minutes of me leaving and I'll then help him to fall asleep......

Good luck