When will pain go away, or feel of relief begin?

[JennyBLove]

Posted a few times already, but feeling really down today just needed to vent a lil. Im only 14 wks preg n just havng hard time without fob. Hes the love of my life, and my world n he not with me. He moved across street lil while ago n visits somstimes mainly if he wants sex :/, or to give me money n what not and we talk usually or txt evryday but I just cannot cope that he wont make things work. He came the other day kinda drunk saying he still in love with me but still left me thanksgiving all alone in my apt, horrible snow weather, n no car, n left for citys. Think hes sein someone else and im just crushed, its been 3 months since we broke up n I kno im not getn thru this or over him, just so hard n being alone. Really miss him n scared im hurting baby crying so much everyday for the whole three months, just dont kno what to do with myself.

 

[Jade--x]

You just need to be strong hun. Give him an ultimatum that he either wants you completely or he leaves you alone..He's messing with your head and you can't let him. You're not a doormat don't let him use you as and when he sees fit. It's not easy and it will hurt..But it'll be worth it in the long run and it's better to do it before LO is here. Once you know where you stand you'll be able to accept it after a while rather than not knowing where you are and being confused and hurt x

 

[Dream.dream]

Sounds like he's not committed to you. I would cut ties with him .

You and your baby deserve so much better then that. It can be hard to get over but it doesn eventually get easier . Try and focus on your baby and preparing , also look into counselling its really helpful for some people

 

[JennyBLove]

Thanks ladies, yeah its just even more tough when I moved to this state with him in june, n I have no vehicle, just got a job (he was takin care us beffore) n in middle of nowhere in Winter! I depennd on him to get to wrk n his truck broke dwn now n is makn me pay some my rent now, n so id love to go to counseling but cant really get there. And tryn to get cab vouchers for ob appointmnts now. Maybe can get ffoor that too. Its so hard bein im so in love with him, but ugh I just dont get what hes doin. We went from everyday together to him only seein me when he want sex :/ or to give me money. Just stupid.

 

[Danie1stbaby]

I am so sorry you are going through this.It is too many no good men in the world,makes me feel like it's a curse or something smh For one,your hormones are all over due to pregnancy.So a lot of the time,you miss him because you are carrying apart of him.If he left you and you were not pregnant,you would still hurt but would pack your bags and get over it.How well do I know? I just posted a thread up here asking when will the pain end.It hurts and when you love someone...it really hurts...when you love someone and are pregnant..especially with your first child...it reallllly hurts to the millionth power.Yet guess what? the pain eases with time,but my goodness I am not going to lie to you...when you are in love...it takes a even longer time.

My main question is : what is keeping you there in the middle of no where? do you have family elsewere? in another state? Being in isolation is not good~ The idle mind is the devil's playground.Memories will make you want to die without that person.Thinking about old times will drain you dry.I cried majority of my pregnancy,I wanted that man back or him to want me,just that bad.Don't forget you have a little person growing within you that has a heart beat bc of you do.So every emotion you feel,he/she feels.If you want that baby to survive and have a relaxing/safe time in your womb,you need to let him go and leave.

put your pride aside and go stay with family or a friend,gather yourself together and birth a healthy beautiful child.You are doing the same thing I did and I regret,I put more energy into that man,than I did into enjoying my pregnancy.Life is not over,in weeks it will be just beginning.That child needs you more than that man does.Taking my own advice,even though it hurts to breathe somedays! You were given that angel for a reason.You are given a human being life,how powerful is that.How wimpy is he to walk away from such a precious moment.Stop giving him your body,energy and thoughts.You do not know who he is sleeping with,so being intimate is risky for baby.It is also draining you emotionally and your down emotions are draining the baby.You are at a risky stage of pregnancy right now.As impossible as it sounds,you gotta get out of that environment.Please LEAVE!! I know it hurts,i hurt every single day.It's not going to be easy,but it is something you have to do.Dont think about the other woman if there is one.no one can build happiness with another person after abandoning their child and woman.Karma does not work like that,he will pay for what he has done.Being patient is hard,but with patience,so much will be accomplished...including him answering for his faults.

my suggestion is to drop everything and leaveeeeeeee! PLEASE leave for the sake of you and that innocent baby.You are a young mother of only 1,so you are able and capable of making it without him.We will not be the 1st or last to go through this~ Hugs and please make phone calls and leave that home.It will not be any easier to be out there with a baby,you need love and support around you.You need your family and friends or just out of that environment.I hope you make a great decision for you and your lo.Much love and hugs,and remember you are not the only one going through it...most of us are finding our way♥

 

[Jennifurball]

I feel like I am getting somewhere now but my worry is when I see him again, I want to look at him and feel nothing.

When I last split with him, we kept sleeping together and it hurt me more seeing him walk away, knowing he is going elsewhere, I only got over the pain once I stopped contact completely. If you can get away one way or another then do it because this stress is no good for baby.

 

[JennyBLove]

Thanks all, yeah id be gone by now but no family to stay with and no help from friends. Worst time possible for everything. My heart just beats so fast I feel so shitty. Ive nvr been so stuck, and me having to help with rent now is makn it harder for me to save. Just stressful finding a way to work even. My mind is so jumbled. yeah he wanted a baby n then now is given it a broken home...ill be good mom but too bad he ruined it all, hes changed forr the worst, and I wish I had my shit togeether right now n could get away from the sadness. I feel bad my baby is dealing with all this inside me. I hope its okay. Thanks tho ladies, just hope in time things will be better. Not much I can do at the moment. Nvr again will I move to another state, quit my job, n everything for a man that will leave me later. N yes its harder being pregnant.

 

[littlegenes]

He sounds like a waster- your not a sex doll, tell him to go down to your local Ann Summers and buy one if thats what he wants.

You need to cut him off- don't see him, don't call or text. You obviously deserve/need money of him- tell him to either drop it through your letterbox and set up a deposit into your bank account.

Have you thought about trying to find someone else? I know the only way I am truly going to get over my ex is if I find someone else I love as I much as I do him.

 

[Jennifurball]

I don't know how things work where you are but there must be some help like a women's aid?? They could get you somewhere to go and you can save for something nice away from him. Try not to let things affect you so hard, I just want to give you a hug. x

 

[JennyBLove]

Yeah im trying to save just started job, only seasonal but something till I figure out. He came over today of course only wantn sex, just makes me sick. Then gave me some laundry money..he said he thinks I should move back to mn citys so I can take buses to work n etc. just wanna strangle him, this baby not important obviously. Theres housing but waiting lists years long, n theres group housing for pregnant women but I got my kittys n stuff would rather just move to mn but dunno where or how yet. Ugh picked the wrong man for all this. I cant even think of another man now, it just makes me sick being I so in love with him, sadly wish I wasnt but just makes me sick to think of man n noone can compate as of yet...im sure someday soon tho. He even said will just be waiting in lobby for baby to be born wont be there for me or experience.

 

[Jennifurball]

I know what you mean, I hate my ex with a passion but part of me still thinks he is my man and I should be with him I am sure in time this will pass. I can't bear the thought of being with another man, or another man meeting Scarlett. It is tough now but one day you will look back, when you have your new life with your precious bundle of joy and he is kicking himself for losing you. He will keep using you unless you make a stop to it now, only then will he start to regret messing up, trust me.

 

[JennyBLove]

Yeah its tough but today was a lil better went to doc n got to hear heart beat again. So happy. But yeah just gonna keep my distance n not msg him unless imlortant or whatever, hes my way to wrk now till I can afrd car n stuff kinda sucks but oh well at least he helpn yeah me too no guy can compare nor will or do I want another man prolly be like that for longg time. Just wanna spit at guys that stare at me n all that lol. But yeah just gonna try get thru the days n better myself much as I can. Yay hopefully one day when im more preg or later in life he realises shat he lost.