when you conceive when will you tell people?

[darkriver]

When I was pregnant with my first we told everyone at 6 weeks and I went on to have a healthy happy toddler, second time around I told everyone at six weeks but then miscarried. I got accused of faking the loss and it was a horrible.

Now I am TTC using a sperm donor and I am pondering when to tell everyone when it happens. So I am wondering when you plan to inform people .

 

[ILoveme29]

When I was pregnant with my first we told everyone at 6 weeks and I went on to have a healthy happy toddler, second time around I told everyone at six weeks but then miscarried. I got accused of faking the loss and it was a horrible.

Now I am TTC using a sperm donor and I am pondering when to tell everyone when it happens. So I am wondering when you plan to inform people .

Im sorry for your loss and mostly sorry peopled judged you, that's not really something ppl should look down on you at. For myself I didn't tell, but my mother did and it was embarrassing to me that everyone was looking for a belly and I had to repeatedly tell what happen as a constant reminder. so when I get pregnant again I will not tell anyone until my 13th or 14th week.

 

[fairycat]

How crappy can you be to think you faked a loss? That's so awful, I'm sorry people did that to you

DH and I have different opinions. I really don't know when to tell people.

With my first pregnancy in July, we told parents right away even before my missed period. DH's family knew a few days before first ultrasound, and my family knew a few days after first ultrasound. Well, it wasn't a normal ultrasound and I was in denial, so my family at least got the head's up that something was wrong. In the end we told everybody and friends, etc. that we lost it. If I lost again we would still tell everyone. DH doesn't want to put them through it again, but I'm like... can't we just enjoy a pregnancy while it's there no matter the outcome?

I think we'll do the same as last time though - tell parents right away and family and friends after a normal ultrasound.

 

[darkriver]

How crappy can you be to think you faked a loss? That's so awful, I'm sorry people did that to you

DH and I have different opinions. I really don't know when to tell people.

With my first pregnancy in July, we told parents right away even before my missed period. DH's family knew a few days before first ultrasound, and my family knew a few days after first ultrasound. Well, it wasn't a normal ultrasound and I was in denial, so my family at least got the head's up that something was wrong. In the end we told everybody and friends, etc. that we lost it. If I lost again we would still tell everyone. DH doesn't want to put them through it again, but I'm like... can't we just enjoy a pregnancy while it's there no matter the outcome?

I think we'll do the same as last time though - tell parents right away and family and friends after a normal ultrasound.

Sorry to everyone for there losses. I am in twos minds. I have a handful of people I need to tell. I will absoulately be telling my best friends as they have been supportive through the whole sperm donor thing. I know I will be excited but, at the same time I am scared.

 

[LDC]

I'm sorry for your loss. I genuinely don't understand what makes people think they can judge or make out that you would fake something like that, the world has some funny people in it.

I won't be telling people until I get the all clear, apart from work as I do some lifting in my new role. Ideally, I don't want to tell people until,my 20 week scan but know I won't be able to hide it for that long. We found out my ds had medical issues at 20 weeks and then had to go through the process of tfmr due to his chance of survival being very slim, and if he did survive he would be severely handicapped and need a lifetime of operations on his brain due to excess fluid. I won't relax until my 20 week scan and gave a feeling that I will just try and avoid conversation about pregnancy out of fear that something will happen again.

Good luck with your ttc journey xxx

 

[darkriver]

I'm sorry for your loss. I genuinely don't understand what makes people think they can judge or make out that you would fake something like that, the world has some funny people in it.

I won't be telling people until I get the all clear, apart from work as I do some lifting in my new role. Ideally, I don't want to tell people until,my 20 week scan but know I won't be able to hide it for that long. We found out my ds had medical issues at 20 weeks and then had to go through the process of tfmr due to his chance of survival being very slim, and if he did survive he would be severely handicapped and need a lifetime of operations on his brain due to excess fluid. I won't relax until my 20 week scan and gave a feeling that I will just try and avoid conversation about pregnancy out of fear that something will happen again.

Good luck with your ttc journey xxx

Sorry for that hun x

 

[SanJan]

Really sorry for your loss

I'll tell people who I meet often and parents after 12 week scan, but others will have to wait till 20 week scan.

 

[lilmisscaviar]

My first pregnancy I didn't tell anyone except me and my partner for the longest time. Finally at 9 weeks I told my mom (I was still living with her at the time and it was bound to come up when I started to get bigger). I didn't tell Facebook or anyone else until 14 weeks. I was very secretive.

With my last pregnancy, I told everyone, even Facebook, and I regretted it at that first scan when we found out that the baby had no heartbeat. I dealt with the same rude comments "Wow, girls will do anything these days just for attention" was one of them. A couple people unfriended me.

My next pregnancy I have decided to keep low key with my history of losses. I'm not going to tell my mom until after the first scan and only if there is a beating heart and everyone else probably until the gender scan. I'm that paranoid to deal with idiots again...

 

[Rei]

We told everyone right away when we got pregnant with our first and it ended in a horribly long drawn out miscarriage that lasted 5 months.

Honestly I don't want to tell anyone until we find out the gender >.> but I have a feeling we'll make the announcement after the first doctor appointment XD

 

[danser55]

We told my parents at 6 weeks H's at 7. A few friends here and there around 9 weeks, we did a fb announcement at 13 weeks after the 12 week scan and NIPT came back ok. Our 20 week scan is when we found the issues.
I think with the next pregnancy we will share with close friends and family again for support since they were so wonderful and supportive with our loss. I am not even sure we will do a FB announcement this time or if we will wait until after our 20 week scan if we do.

 

[Mdc]

We were very secretive the first go round and only told three close friends. We did not tell the family (although they likely suspected when I turned down wine). However this time we may include close family after the first scan, because we felt like we are hiding/not being truthful about it and this is a subject very much ignored. Although we may change our mind once we get a sticky BFP. Such a personal decision and there is no right or wrong way.

 

[Mrs. Atole]

People are so ignorant, after all you did just lose your bby. Advice just surround your self around the people who are going to love and support you.

 

[biscuits104]

How crappy can you be to think you faked a loss? That's so awful, I'm sorry people did that to you

DH and I have different opinions. I really don't know when to tell people.

With my first pregnancy in July, we told parents right away even before my missed period. DH's family knew a few days before first ultrasound, and my family knew a few days after first ultrasound. Well, it wasn't a normal ultrasound and I was in denial, so my family at least got the head's up that something was wrong. In the end we told everybody and friends, etc. that we lost it. If I lost again we would still tell everyone. DH doesn't want to put them through it again, but I'm like... can't we just enjoy a pregnancy while it's there no matter the outcome?

I think we'll do the same as last time though - tell parents right away and family and friends after a normal ultrasound.

I feel the same way you do - let's celebrate until told otherwise. That said, I just found out last week that I'm expecting for the third time this year...and I'm too scared to tell anyone except my best friend, sister and husband. We have no plans to tell our families for at least a month.