When you were first diagnosed with infertility-

[ermm23a]

Did you and your partner discuss when to stop treatment? Did you decide how far you would be willing to go? Or was it just something that you discuss along the way?

I'm just curious about what other people did/thought/felt up first hearing the diagnosis. And if you have a deadline for when you will decide to stop treatment.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

When we decided to TTC after DD2, we didnt know it would take as long as it has so we didnt have a "plan" perse. Just BD really, thats it. I chart but thats about it. I read about SOY so i started taking that and on the first cycle got BFP (baby we lost last fall). After that, O just wasnt happening- it really wasnt before that, but even more so after we lost the baby. I knew i needed to do something. OB ran tests, all came back normal. So we tried Femara and so far its working ok. We have had to revamp that plan- it was every other cycle, but now its every cycle w/higher dose. I have enough for 3 more cycles. Things have dragged on to TTC almost 2yrs and we decided to do ICI in october, if still nothing, we will do Soy and/or Clomid. After that, there isnt a plan. Our insurance wont cover any IUI or IVF, it wont even cover the OB doing ICI at the office, we have to do it at home.

 

[Millnsy]

We were trying for a year before we got referred to the specialist and then it took another 6 months to get the wheels in motion. We had 3 months of cloid, break for a lap and dye then another 3 months of clomid before the first IUI which was delayed due to other commitments. After the first IUI failed almost 2.5 years after we started trying we sat down and had a massive discussion about how long to go on for. We made the decision then to exhaust the "free" options with the NHS (3 IUI and 1 IVF) and we were then going to stop. WE got to the point where everything seemed to be about TTC and all our life plans were effectively on hold in case we got pregnant. Everyone around us was falling pregnant left right and centre and we felt like their lives were moving forward whilst we couldn't. The next cycle worked and I can't say if the change in mindset had anything to do with it but we were certainly more relaxed about the whole thing.

Stick at it, infertility is so all consuming but don't lose sight of your final goal...

 

[tinybutterfly]

we started trying in the summer of 2008, after half a year and still nothing i wondered
if something was wrong bc every woman in my family has gotten pregnant fairly easily.
just when we were about to go further i got pregnant (october 2009), but i had a MC
and bloods showed it was ectopic.
given my history my gyn didn't want to do the lap and dye, he prescribed clomid (my charts were weird after mc)
and SA of the OH showed low count, so we were scheduled for IUI in may 2010.

that same cycle we went to the fertility clinic for a 2nd opinion, i had made the
apointment to get ahead of the system (waiting lists of months and months).
and i'm glad i did, this doc did do the lap & dye and it showed my tubes are 99% blocked
and IVF is the only way to go.

my other gyn would have done IUI untill october, then lap & dye, then IVF.
guess getting ahead of the system worked out pretty well for me now, i'm starting IVF
in august already yay.

we discussed things as we went along... OH was in much denial that something was wrong though,
can't really blame him, it's not that uncommon for ppl to not get pregnant after just a few months,
but i just felt something was off, i told him to get checked etc but he couldn't get over his shame,
then i got preggers after all, so he was sort of relieved hehe.
ohwell, he got over the shame now, having had to give a sample few times and have his
penis and balls checked from all possible angles by a specialist hehehe

OH doesn't like to think ahead though, i like to prepare for the worst (which is why i made the apointment in the fertility clinic to begin with).
so i'm already thinking 'bout adoption, from what country, when to start the procedure etc...
just in case the IVF doesn't work but he doesn't want to do that.
he doesn't even want to buy anything baby related yet, even if it's something neutral.

just few days ago i got him to look at baby shoes (bobux) with me,
normally he responds to that with a sad face and comments like "not now honey"
but this time he picked out several he liked as well, shows me he has high hopes for the IVF to work soon


/lifetelling, sorry haha

 

[teapot]

We literally had a 2 min discussion in the waiting room of the FS at the followup appt of my lap & dye. We knew at that stage that my tubes are 1 x blocked & 1 x part blocked & scarred by endometriosis & natural conception is highly unlikely (well 8 years of nothing was fairly obv).
I thought at that point that you get 3 goes on NHS, & luckily, we both agreed straight away that we'd do two & then stop.

It turns out that our PCT pays for 1 full cycle, so an IVF & FET if there's any embies frozen. We are in the extremely lucky position that both potential grannies have said they'd fund a cycle too (it would take us a couple of years to save enough). So we'll take our NHS one & then if it fails, maybe granny-fund one cycle.

Ultimately, two full cycles is our limit & thankfully we both agree! IF cycle no.1 works (PMA, PMA), I think we'd still go for a 2nd in a year or two.