Who gets final say when you TTC?

[Celesse]

I've seen a lot of threads where people have said "OH has agreed we can TTC in x mnth/ yrs". Now I told my OH when we are going to TTC and in a perfect world both parents should agree 50:50 when to start TTC.

I thought it would be interesting to see who is having the final say, the men, the women or both?
Be honest if you both have the final say, as agreeing to follow someone else's time scale isn't the same has making the decision yourself iykwim!

 

[silverbell]

It's both of us in my case. We've waited a long time to be in a better financial situation and we're nearly there.

Thankfully my OH is as keen to start as I am.

 

[wtt :)]

I put both as I won't actively start TTC without him knowing but really, I am a bit older and therefore try to push him just a little. We both have agreed on certain things and made those decisions together so even though I nudge him once in a while, we both have the final say, not just me. Confused?

 

[proudmummy]

To be honest its my husband who will get the final say, just because our son is only 5 weeks old and I would start trying for number 2 asap, he luckily is keen too but if he wasnt it wouldnt be fair to push it as our son is still so young so he is still getting used to being a daddy x

 

[LunaRose]

OH has the final say when we TTC without a doubt! I would have another one now if he'd let me!

He's saying we should wait for the right reasons (Moving house, money, ect ..) .. I think if we were in the right financial situation we would be on the same page.

OH has given me a rough date and I'm happy! So now I'm 'patiently' waiting! This broodiness is driving me crazy!

xx

 

[pink23]

i put both of us because i want oh to be happy we are ttc at the right time and not feel im forcing him into it xx

 

[Dee_H]

It was both our decision. IMO I think both should agree. There is a reason one of you doesn't want to TTC...I don't think it is very respectful to not take that person's feelings and views into consideration. Bringing a child into your life when one or the other is not ready is totally unfair.Just my 2 cents

 

[Lou1234]

I put me.

We both said we would love to TTC once we get married in September but I am the sensible and level-headed one out of the two of us!

The reason I put me is that I have decided if we still have money to pay off our credit cards when the time comes then I want to wait. He has agreed and sees the sensible-ness in what I say but I know him well enough to know he thinks it will be fine even if we have debt as it will eventually be paid off. I'm the one thinking ahead to maternity pay and wondering how we will manage (my company don't offer an enhanced maternity package).

If we do have to wait it will only be for an extra few months.

 

[4magpies]

My OH.

I would be TTC now if it were up to me. He wants to wait.

He said we can TTC in December so I am waiting till december. We are NTNP at the moment.

xx

 

[BButterflies]

It was both our decision. IMO I think both should agree. There is a reason one of you doesn't want to TTC...I don't think it is very respectful to not take that person's feelings and views into consideration. Bringing a child into your life when one or the other is not ready is totally unfair.Just my 2 cents

I think you misunderstood the question, its more, did you have to wait for your OH to be ready or did your OH have to wait for you. So both are wanting to TTC but one just had to wait a bit longer

 

[BButterflies]

I don't know yet. Right now, even though I want soooo badly, even if OH was ready I would still be waiting I think, just to be in a slightly better position. But OH is wanting to wait anyway.

I would love to try after being in a graduate job for about 6 months (so in a year and a half) so depends how he feels then! But I have a feeling it will be him that decides!

EDIT:Actually if he told me we could TTC now, i'm not sure if I could wait!!! Argghh!

 

[mandaa1220]

We both want to wait for important reasons (specifically money).

If we were to fall pregnant though, I would be more prepared than he. We both have agreed when we feel that we'd be financially ready and what we want to achieve before then.

 

[Princess_LV]

I've voted me, as OH wanted to wait until next summer originally, and I only wanted to wait until Sept / Oct when I have had a graduate job for a while. But I have since used my wily female charm to persuade him to try in October. He probably thinks it was a more joint decision than it was, but then he didn't know that I was aiming for Sept / Oct all along... naughty me! I do love putting ideas in his head lol.

 

[flump1]

I would say it comes down to my OH, if he said lets go for it now i wouldnt be able to say no!! but then both of us have agreed to wait till next year.
But saying that i think if said to OH that i couldnt wait any longer then i think he would go along with it to as he is getting quite broody to be a daddy now xx

 

[beccad]

Me - DH has wanted to get going for ages now.

 

[Bonster]

I wasn't sure. So I just asked my DH and he says he would TTC right now. I want to wait until the due date would be close to next summer. I am a teacher and I don't want to have to go back to work and then go on summer vacation. So I guess it's on me.

 

[pinklightbulb]

OH, because I had to talk him into #2. So it's fair to me that he decides when.

 

[HippieJess]

I answered "me". Basically we both want to, but I keep chickening out.
DH told me to let him know when I'm ready. (Hopefully next month).

 

[panther19]

I put both, since we won't until we both want to. I am frustrated with him because he doesn't know when he wants to, and emotionally I would like to now. But we, our life, our house, our finances aren't ready. So until we can both agree it's a no-go.

And me posting my frustrations with OH in other spots doesn't have so much to do with the actual decision, because rationally I know we can't yet although emotionally I want to TTC NOW.

 

[Damita]

We both agreed on a date in Jan this year, I wouldn't want to go ahead until we are ready