why do 4 year old push boundaries so much??

[Angelbaby_01]

I see so many posts about 4 year olds having behaviour issues and my little one is following the trend.

Back chatting and saying no when we ask her nicely to do things. Tonight I asked her to eat her dinner and she refused. She kept on drawing and then when hubby tild her to she screamed no and started crying. It was the same this afternoon around lunch time. Once off I understand, but it is becoming a daily habit now.

I would tell her to go to the toilet and she refuse. She would not go once a day if I let her. She resist everything we say and its starting to get me. She was always the sweet child and still is to other people when she get attention from then.

We havent changed anything at home and both girls get the same amount of time with us. It just baffles me.

I feel like I fail somewhere.

 

[lau86]

You're not alone! You're not a failure, you sound like a lovely mum. I've written similar on here too.

 

[SarahBear]

That's their job! They need to find out where the boundaries are and then every once in a while do a quality check on the boundaries, just to make sure they hold firm .

 

[CookieCupcake]

Stand your ground and find a punishment and reward system that works for you and your LO. You're not a failure at all All children of all ages push the boundaries and every parents patience!

 

[caz_hills]

I too have posted on here about my four year old. We didn't have the terrible twos but four for us has been the most challenging age. Plus he started school when he was four and two months so maturity wise he has had to grow up super fast.

I often feel too what have I done wrong but I'm hoping (and know in my heart) that it's a phase.

My son refuses to eat too �� it's the worst. Yesterday he was so tired and I'd planned a lovely end of half term day together and he was just moaning and asking for sweets. Some times It's so upsetting but it seems like an age thing!

Everyone comments on the terrible twos but not on four! Why?!?!

 

[lau86]

Caz for me I feel ashamed that he should know better. He has tantrums and I think, you're far too old to be having a tantrum. Then I get to the end of my tether and moan on here. I'm finding life completely exhausting at the moment- my eldest gets up at 6-6.30 and wakes everyone up (I know some kids get up even earlier), then we're all tired. They're behaviour is far worse when they're tired. I'm potty training ds2 and Dd is a clingy nightmare! I have such a short fuse. Sometimes I think they must hate me

 

[caz_hills]

Oh they don't hate you! The tiredness makes it tonnes worse. After a better nights sleep my son is soooooo much better - he got 12 hours last night and today is much chirpier. There must be something about this age that sets them off - some people say to me it's because they start school and find a little bit of independence and willpower.

Hugs x

 

[Tanikins]

I'm lead to believe alot of it is asserting there independence. I just go with it tbh. Don't wanna eat dinner? That's fine go hungry till tea etc

 

[caz_hills]

I should probably do that too - just not try and reason with my son over dinner. Sometimes meals are a nightmare of a battle - maybe I should just agree with him and see where that gets me! x

 

[Tanikins]

Realistically the only person hungry is the one refusing dinner. It won't last long