Why Do I Feel Like A Crap Mother??

[LulaBug]

Ethan hasn't been well for a few days, on Saturday he wasn't really touching his food, gave him some Calpol and then 2 minutes after having it, he puked up all over his dad and the floor.
Since then, a cold has developed and I booked an appt this morning for him to see the doctor given that he just can't keep the calpol down.

His dad asked me if I was going to go too, but I said no. Not because I don't love Ethan or don't care about him, but because he was going to get an alternative medicine for Ethan and quite frankly, I didn't see that as a two person task. Ethan was fine with his dad, he was going in the car and it was going to be a quick appt to get alternative medication.

So....why am I being made to feel like the worlds worst mother all because I didn't go to the doctor's too???

Please tell me that there have been time's when you or your partners have gone the doctor's on your own with your kids and it's not been made a big deal out of?

The way his dad was going on was that it was going to be some kind of day trip to the beach. "I thought it might be nice if we all went together". It's a quick 5 minute appt to get a different medicine. It's not a mammoth task.

Maybe I should have gone because now I feel completely awful. I feel judged. I feel like I'm being constantly scrutinized and that no matter what choice I make, it's the wrong one and it's getting me down.

As soon as they got back, the first thing I did was give him big cuddles and kisses. I'm in total bits here. One of my friends is in agreement with him and now I really am feeling like a total cow.

 

[JakesMummy]

No no no no!!! You are NOT an awful mother just because you didn't go...

My OH has taken one of mine to the doctors by themselves a few times and I have never thought twice about it. He was getting treatment and I don't see why everyone has to go?! Ignore the comments. You know you are a great Mummy!!!!

 

[LulaBug]

What irritates me is that by him making such a big fuss about me not going, it's going to start something off where Ethan can't handle being away from one parent and having separation anxiety and I want him to know that it's fine to be with one parent or both.
It's getting on my wick. I'm constantly doubting myself and I can't enjoy being a mum for the most part because of his prick of a dad making me feel awful for not attending one doctors appt!!

Thanks hun, I appreciate your lovely words xxx

 

[Baby France]

I'd sit him down and talk to him about it.

My OH has taken the kids to the doctors and hospital, but that wasn't because I didn't think it was a two man job. It was because I couldn't go.

I prefer to be the one that takes him as I find OH usually plays things down and won't get concerned about things (with my daughter when she had chicken pox, he kept saying she's ok...when I finally took her to a&e, they admitted her for 4 days).

It depends on how comfortable you are with him doing that task and passing the information on. I have taken my kids on their own and with dad too, just because though with us both working, we both have information that could help IYSWIM? If we've both been there, then both of us don't need to go?

Its obvious you have trust enough in your OH for him to go alone with your son. I think that maybe its HIM that has the issues with needing you for support rather than you not think its overly important that you're both there. He should feel very priviledged that he's given the whole thumbups anyways!

I hope that makes sense!

 

[smelly07]

There is no need for both parents to go to every doctor appointment and there is definitely no need for it to be down to the mother.

have you taken your LO to the doctors before on your own? how does your OH feel about that.....does he feel like a bad parent for not being there iykwim?

your not a bad mother at all.......your OH is being dramatic xxxxxxxxxxxxx