Why do people do what they do?

[harlantr1]

I am getting really tired of people judging my decisions, food or otherwise, all of the sudden becuase I am pregnant. "Is that okay for the baby?" "Should you eat that while you are pregnant?" "Are you sure that's a good idea, you're pregnant right?"

What makes people think they can say things to you that they wouldn't otherwise say JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE PREGNANT?!?!?!?!?

I am a grown woman and I'm pretty sure I can handle growing my own baby, thank you very much!!!!!!!!!

I'm so irritated....no I'm pissed off about this. And I'm still early on so it's just gonna get worse!

Any advice how to deal with this?

 

[Luvspnk31]

Well, I guess it just depends on who is saying it. If it's a close friend or family member, I would just let them know that you're aware of what's ok and not, and if u have a question, you'll ask ur dr. If it's a stranger, or someone you are not that close to, I would probably just ignore them. Some people are incredibly paranoid about what they eat during pg. I admit, that I'm not. I don't drink or smoke, so that's never an issue, but my dr always said that baby is going to get what they need before you. I make sure I eat fruits and veggies, but don't stress out too much if I eat some cake or what. My greatest weakness is probably caffeine. I always have trouble giving that up, and usually end up just cutting back.

 

[Mya209]

It will get worse! It's the thing I'm dreading! I'm enjoying no one knowing! People think they can say what they want. Laugh at you for wanting natural birth, saying 'you won't be able to do so and so with two'. I find it very hard not to care so I'm dreading how its gonna make me feel! It drove me bonkers last time! They do the same, making comments, when baby is born too!

 

[luminescent]

concern trolling.
people want to stick their nose in your business and judge you under the guise of being concerned.
it's still early weeks for me but when people start noticing/judging I'm just going to give them a quick "my body/baby is my business, thanks." I have no tolerance for that, lol.

 

[Mya209]

concern trolling.
people want to stick their nose in your business and judge you under the guise of being concerned.
it's still early weeks for me but when people start noticing/judging I'm just going to give them a quick "my body/baby is my business, thanks." I have no tolerance for that, lol.

Wish I could do that!!

 

[Genevevex]

I would try and take the questions and comments in a positive light. Maybe they are truly trying to be helpful? Don't take everything as an insult, even if it may feel that way--they may not mean it that way.

 

[Mya209]

It may not be an insult but it is seriously annoying!!

 

[cncem]

I hate it when people say that to me. I know perfectly well what I can and can't have, especially if I'm having a coffee or coke, I have talked to my doctor and she said it is fine, but limit to one or two caffeinated drinks a day. It's like I have to hide in a closet to enjoy my soda, lol. With my first two children I was on my own, didn't have a partner so I could do what I wanted and didn't have to answer to anyone. Now, I'm married, and my husband is a Nazi about what I eat or drink, he lectures if I have a candy, tells me to drink more water and exercise, and I make it a point to ask doc about all of that when he goes with, saying "Doctor Fortenberry, don't you think it'd be best for the baby if my husband goes for walks with me, and cuts out sugar, and drinks water instead of soda etc". Shuts him right up, lol.

 

[luminescent]

I'm sure people have positive intentions, but when you're not pregnant people know to keep things to themselves. like, maybe drinking a lot of coffee isn't super healthy but most people won't say anything. I won't appreciate my body suddenly inviting public opinions, good intentions or not.
it's so ingrained in people as being acceptable (like bump touching), they may be surprised if I tell them otherwise. so I mean, I would try to say it in the nicest way possible. I realize I sound pretty rude when talking about this, haha, it's only because I feel strongly about it.

 

[Fourstar]

If you think it's bad now wait until you have your baby. You will find yourself surrounded by experts. I even had strangers passing me in the street who couldn't resist sticking their oar in. For some reason elderly men are the worse culprits. :\

 

[LoveMy2Boys2]

All I do is vomit or bound to the couch and can't even lift my head up because of migraines and horrid nausea.... Water is my enemy. It doesn't stay down and makes my sickness way worse , I found that pop and slurpees stay down much better..... I have always been healthy and now I'm so sick in not concerned of what goes in , it's more about what goes down and stays down..... And yet I have to hear "stay away from all that high fructose syrup" "don't drink that pop, it's poison " "that's just going to make you more sick and less hydrated, drink water". Ya ya ya. Be in my shoes and lets see what you all drink!

 

[jeanyern123]

I understand.
My friends, especially my male friends have gone all weird and distant or up n my business and questioning things. Like my drinking coffee, lifting something or even gardening.
I know they're trying... but theres way better ways to support me, by just asking how I'm feeling or how the baby's progressing and then just listening and hanging out with me. (Over coffee).

 

[Monzter79]

Oh.. The "helpful" suggestions. It's pretty minimal for me. I'm not exactly known for tolerating a lot of bs. And now I have hormones....so yeah. I did have to tell my family to stop talking about weight and food. I'm doing my best, this is my first baby, and yeah I might gain a little too much. I don't need guilt and shame on top of it. They apologized.

They really think they're being helpful and I try to remember that. But I think it's totally appropriate to tell people that you're feeling extra sensitive, and getting fed up with everyone's suggestions. I need support and respect for my autonomy. It's really demoralizing to be treated otherwise, IMO.