Why is conception so difficult?

[WantsALittle1]

Does anyone know why it takes the average healthy couple 6 months to 1 year to conceive?

If the couple is aware of ovulation and BDs during the 3 important days (1 day before, O day, and 1 day after), why wouldn't it happen every single time?

I've seen The Great Sperm Race so I know how difficult the journey is for the little swimmers, but they still show two little spermies making it to the egg even though hundreds of millions died along the way. If this is happening every month of TTCing, why does it take 6 such months for the average person to conceive? If the couple is BDing the same way month after month, why does it magically happen one month when it didn't happen the month before?

Many thanks in advance! Curiosity is killing this cat!

 

[Sherley]

Don't know but I'm stalking! X

 

[burgbrandy]

There's so much more involved than just the sperm meeting the egg. First the egg and sperm have to be compatible. Lots of fertilized eggs don't make it due to chromosomal abnormalities. Then the egg has to divide and shed its shell on its way to the uterus. Now comes implantation...this can fail for many reasons, like the lining not being thick enough or not porous enough for the egg to stick. Of course if the fertilized egg doesn't implant, no pregnancy. Or egg may implant too high and not survive or too low and not be able to develop. After implantation, there's still plenty that can go wrong. Hcg is supposed to double every 48-72 hours, but if it doesn't, the pregnancy will be lost in a chemical pregnancy. Then after all that, there ate completely unexplained miscarriages, but the likelihood of a m/c decreases the longer u carry the pregnancy.

Wow, that was long. And I'm sure that is only a handful of things that can go wrong even if there is a sperm there to fertilize the egg.

 

[291]

Watch the great sperm race (youtube it) then you'll wonder why anyone exists at all.
Though I find women with poor diet, low health etc seem to manage it easier...go figure.

 

[mama2connor]

Watch the great sperm race (youtube it) then you'll wonder why anyone exists at all.
Though I find women with poor diet, low health etc seem to manage it easier...go figure.

I disagree. I know people who have had real poor diets, not good health, and really overweight and they haven't been able to get pregnant until they have changed their life style, lost weight, etc.

 

[redlemonade]

Watch the great sperm race (youtube it) then you'll wonder why anyone exists at all.
Though I find women with poor diet, low health etc seem to manage it easier...go figure.

I tend to agree with you. In my life, it is the women who are overweight, smokers, heavy drinkers and drug users that seem to get pregnant at the drop of a hat

 

[WantsALittle1]

I've seen The Great Sperm Race but as mentioned was looking for more information because in the movie they show 2 out of the hundreds of million sperm making it. If that happens nearly every month, why does it take almost a year to conceive? (BTW 291 I loved that documentary--soooo fascinating!)

I think burgbrandy is onto something--conception is probably extremely common, but most zygotes are not viable and so they go through demise before it's even possible to get a positive pregnancy test. Conception may, indeed, be happening every month but it likely takes months upon months to get the right combination of chromosomal matter to get a healthy blasto.

 

[xxenigmaxx]

I think some woman think they are BD around the time of ovulation, but many miss it and don't realize. Also, if the CM isn't just right, sometimes the sperm doesn't make it to the egg at all. It really is amazing to think about. Each and every healthy person conceived and born really is a miracle.

 

[bananaz]

My understanding is that the majority of couples actually get pregnant within 3 months (the percentage is around 60% from what I've read), with an 80-90% success rate by the end of a year.

Anyway, as burgbrandy pointed out, there's a lot more to it than just sperm meeting egg - fertilization and implantation are complicated processes and unless the conditions are right a pregnancy won't happen even if sex is timed correctly.

Something else I want to point out is that an average couple is probably NTNP so they may not always be having sex during the woman's fertile window. Therefore it may take a few ovulatory cycles before they even have sex when there's an egg to be fertilized, which probably affects those statistics.

 

[amariee]

I was just having this convo with DH, I said to him "why is it that females who are completely "loose" able to get pregnant so easily, but it's the couples who are committed to one another, that happen to take what seems like a lifetime to conceive"

 

[WantsALittle1]

The only thing I can think is that stressing over TTC leads to hormonal changes which mess with ovulation and the associated signals (EWCM, BBT, etc). I've wondered the same thing before. Why are there so many people out here who have to try while others get pregnant on accident? On a related note, perhaps the flood of positive hormones associated with a hedonistic lifestyle that may include unprotected sex boosts fertility somehow!

The only other thing I can think about is how when you want something badly, you focus on it more and so you are more likely to notice when someone around you gets pregnant, especially when they get pregnant without even having to try!

 

[burgbrandy]

Its like when u buy a new car and suddenly u notice everyone has the same car as u! U decide to ttc and suddenly everyone u see has a baby bump.

There's just so many factors that affect ttc.