boogerbug
Mommy to Cayto<3
- Joined
- May 22, 2013
- Messages
- 34
- Reaction score
- 0
I'm at a bit of a loss here. My and the ex are in the process of sorting out custody, visitation and so on.
Now, I have been taking care of my son since day one. I have been the only one showing any real interest in him and from the very beginning it was a struggle to get my ex to even change a diaper let alone anything else. In fact it got to a point where I couldn't even take a shower by myself because my ex was to busy gaming out to watch him. We were still together at this time.
Finally things got to a point where he was blaming everything on me. I mean everything. He would come home from work with the sole purpose of making my life miserable. So I left a few weeks before Christmas. Since then my son has been living with me with very open visitation for my ex. And I mean very open. I have told him that anytime he wants to take our son for the day or visit him, he's more then welcome to. I'm home practically 24/7 and if I'm not I would let him know. It was just a matter of coming to pick our son up or asking me to drop him off. We live almost right around the corner from one another.
Instead he decided he only wants to take our son to his mothers place once a week on Sunday for a couple of hours and maybe pop in the random day to say hi. No real lengthy visits, no real time being spent. There have been a few times when I was invited over to my ex's moms place for dinner as well on those Sundays and I was given an insight on what my ex does. He doesn't even spend time with our son. Instead he watches movies or takes a nap while my ex's mom takes care of our son.
There was one day, Easter, that my ex decided he was going to take our son for the whole day. He came by and got him late morning/early afternoon and brought him back that evening. It was at this time that I noticed our son was very clingy, crying and stuck very close to me for the next couple of days. When I talked to his doctor she said it was just separation anxiety. I pointed this out to my ex and all he could do was roll his eyes and tell me I had no idea what I was talking about. Our son was fine, he told me.
Now out of the blue he suddenly wants to take our son overnight. After months of barely even being around or showing any interest in our son he wants to take him overnight so he can go to Ottawa and visit family who wants to see our son. The whole thing didn't sit right with me at all. My ex had just recently gotten arrested for assault and then a few weeks later received a DUI. He's been drinking lots, smoking pot and overall being a selfish jerk. The last time he went to Ottawa he was bragging to me about how he got so drunk he wandered the city for four hours. He claims he has stopped all this now, but I have a feeling it's only temporary.
Not to mention I know for a fact that our son doesn't see his father enough to be completely comfortable with him. When I tried to ask my ex if maybe we could build up to an overnight instead of just throwing our son right into it, he turned around and called me a selfish bitch. Apparently my concerns are not for our son but for myself.
I have told him that he should start taking our son more, first, so that he starts seeing him as someone who is around often and he can trust. Instead my ex comes over and tries to put our son to sleep to 'prove' he can do it. He struggled with our son for well over 30 minutes. My poor little boy was crying 'mama' over and over again for a good little while until I finally stepped in and offered a few kind words of advice. But my ex flipped out on me. He's never before attempted to put our son to bed and he was talking like it was the easiest thing in the world before.
While he was freaking out on me he kept trying to twist my words and get me to say that he can't see his son anymore. I was saying nothing of the sort only that I think it's best if we build up to overnights. He started ranting about how I have no right to keep him from taking our son overnight and that he could take him right now if he wanted.
In the end he left in a huge pissed off huff.
Now he wants to take our son today for a couple of hours but honestly, I'm afraid. With the way he was acting last night I don't want him to take our son and just not bring him back. There isn't anything completed yet, but I was going for sole custody of our son when I was doing the papers.
Now, I have been taking care of my son since day one. I have been the only one showing any real interest in him and from the very beginning it was a struggle to get my ex to even change a diaper let alone anything else. In fact it got to a point where I couldn't even take a shower by myself because my ex was to busy gaming out to watch him. We were still together at this time.
Finally things got to a point where he was blaming everything on me. I mean everything. He would come home from work with the sole purpose of making my life miserable. So I left a few weeks before Christmas. Since then my son has been living with me with very open visitation for my ex. And I mean very open. I have told him that anytime he wants to take our son for the day or visit him, he's more then welcome to. I'm home practically 24/7 and if I'm not I would let him know. It was just a matter of coming to pick our son up or asking me to drop him off. We live almost right around the corner from one another.
Instead he decided he only wants to take our son to his mothers place once a week on Sunday for a couple of hours and maybe pop in the random day to say hi. No real lengthy visits, no real time being spent. There have been a few times when I was invited over to my ex's moms place for dinner as well on those Sundays and I was given an insight on what my ex does. He doesn't even spend time with our son. Instead he watches movies or takes a nap while my ex's mom takes care of our son.
There was one day, Easter, that my ex decided he was going to take our son for the whole day. He came by and got him late morning/early afternoon and brought him back that evening. It was at this time that I noticed our son was very clingy, crying and stuck very close to me for the next couple of days. When I talked to his doctor she said it was just separation anxiety. I pointed this out to my ex and all he could do was roll his eyes and tell me I had no idea what I was talking about. Our son was fine, he told me.
Now out of the blue he suddenly wants to take our son overnight. After months of barely even being around or showing any interest in our son he wants to take him overnight so he can go to Ottawa and visit family who wants to see our son. The whole thing didn't sit right with me at all. My ex had just recently gotten arrested for assault and then a few weeks later received a DUI. He's been drinking lots, smoking pot and overall being a selfish jerk. The last time he went to Ottawa he was bragging to me about how he got so drunk he wandered the city for four hours. He claims he has stopped all this now, but I have a feeling it's only temporary.
Not to mention I know for a fact that our son doesn't see his father enough to be completely comfortable with him. When I tried to ask my ex if maybe we could build up to an overnight instead of just throwing our son right into it, he turned around and called me a selfish bitch. Apparently my concerns are not for our son but for myself.
I have told him that he should start taking our son more, first, so that he starts seeing him as someone who is around often and he can trust. Instead my ex comes over and tries to put our son to sleep to 'prove' he can do it. He struggled with our son for well over 30 minutes. My poor little boy was crying 'mama' over and over again for a good little while until I finally stepped in and offered a few kind words of advice. But my ex flipped out on me. He's never before attempted to put our son to bed and he was talking like it was the easiest thing in the world before.
While he was freaking out on me he kept trying to twist my words and get me to say that he can't see his son anymore. I was saying nothing of the sort only that I think it's best if we build up to overnights. He started ranting about how I have no right to keep him from taking our son overnight and that he could take him right now if he wanted.
In the end he left in a huge pissed off huff.
Now he wants to take our son today for a couple of hours but honestly, I'm afraid. With the way he was acting last night I don't want him to take our son and just not bring him back. There isn't anything completed yet, but I was going for sole custody of our son when I was doing the papers.
