Why is it such a fight when you want a more natural birth? :(

[Angel2Fire]

I saw the consultant a few days ago. My son was born by c-section because he was breech, I suffer from M.E/CFS and am on anti depressants and an antil psychotic.

Originally I wanted a home birth, but the hospital scared me with statistics and "danger factors" so I've decided I want to go for labour at home with delivery in hospital.

The consultant said it would be impossible for me to labour at home. He said there's a 1 in 200 chance my scar could rupture (which is actually 1/2 a percent! which I'd class as quite low.) He said if things went wrong in hospital they would pick up on it quicker. He had no statistics for things going wrong with home births/labours. He also said I'm more likely to need a c-section because of the M.E (I know quite a few parents with M.E and have never heard of this happening.)

He was adamant I can't labour at home But whats to stop me just not telling them I'm in labour! He also wants me to see an aneathatist even though I said the only pain relief I might have is gas and air (I have a huge range of ideas for pain relief, from aromatherapy and tens to lazy daisy birthing techniques and self hypnosis, which I would like to try first.)

It just seems like such a big fight if you want things more natural, even though labour and birth is a natural thing! The way he was talking, I have no idea how the population didn't die out centuries ago! because obviously there wasn't all the medical intervention.

I want a relaxed labour and birth. I want to be able to move around, I don't want constant monitoring unless its medically necessary, and they would expect this in hospital. I dont want to be in hospital feeling anxious and stressed when I could be at home doing my own thing with my husband and doula.

I don't really have any questions, I just wondered if anyone else had had a big fight but managed to get their way? I'd love to hear other peoples experiences.

Sorry for the rant

Thanks for reading

 

[ljo1984]

You don't need to fight, set the rules and that's it. You can labour and birth where you want, don't let him scare you like that! Stupid dr!! And how does he explain women having vbac at home all the time! I don't understand why they try and scare women into hospital so much! Grrr.
But if you want to labour at home go for it, he won't know when your in labour and even if he did there's nothing anyone can do to make you go in until your ready. Xxxxx

 

[Kimboowee]

Your right, there is nothing to stop you from telling them whether you are in labour. I really hope you get your natural birth and get to use all your lovely Lazy Daisy techniques x

 

[Lina]

It is hard when faced with unsupportive medical team. You have every right to want it your way and they would HAVE to attend to you at home when you go into labour. I known that this is a battle that I may one day face too but remember it is your DECISION and you don't have to attend any future appointment's with them if they continue being negative. When I went for my debrief with the head she told me about a lady who had three sections and had her fourth at home, it was sheer determination she said. So, if she can am sure you can too.

Stay strong and positive and do it your way.

 

[NaturalMomma]

That is so wrong on them to practice with fear instead of facts. You should get yourself a Doula.

 

[madasa]

Oh no, I feel so cross with you that he has bullied you and upset you like this!

You're right about the statistic. And imagine: this includes all women who have been suffered problems with their scar - including those who have been induced (not you) or augmented (not you). It includes all the cases where the scar starts to seperate at one end and in most of those cases mum and baby are both alright. So they spin it to make it sound like 1 in 200 women suffer this awful catastrophe, but that's not really an accurate picture.

If you want a home birth, you can have one. I'm sorry you are having to fight for what you want What kind of support do you have? This kind of treatment can get you really worn down can't it

 

[Pixxie]

Technically you could not tell them until it's 'too late' to go to the hospital and they'd have to send a midwife out to you

 

[bodi26]

I had a c-section with my last as she was breech too and this time round, I want a water birth.

At my booking in appointment, I was told by the MW that although she can't say I def wouldn't be "allowed" one, I'd have a damn big fight on my hands to get the hospital to agree....

Well, I read up a TON - about scar rupture, about constant monitoring vs interval monitoring etc, got my facts and figures and NICE guidelines and made a load of notes.

I wrote a letter to the head of midwifery with a list of questions I wanted them, as professionals, to answer based on my research as none of it backed up their hospital policies (ie no water birth for VBACs and the "neccessity" of constant monitoring).

I didn't go in with all guns blazing, I was very polite, well informed and asked them to back any information up with their sources so I could make my own decision and be the best informed as I could.

Turns out, they couldn't substaniate any of the policies and they are there purely to make the MW's life easier and, in their own words, lack of training and experience for the MW's which tbh, is their problem - not mine - why should that stop me getting the birth I want?

I'm pleased to say now that my hospital has admitted that previous women have successfully had water birth VBACs and they were impressed with how well informed I am and are supporting me now with that decision and will support me in "convincing" the consultant.

At the end of the day, the biggest thing that helped me was realising that they cannot tell me what I'm "allowed" - they need my consent for everything and I do not have to give it. Basically, I've out right refused constant monitoring as there are plenty of symptoms for UR and any midwife looking after me properly will be able to spot them so, no constant monitoring = no reason not to have a water birth.

Sorry this is sooo long but I just wanted to share something positive - they can't make you do anything and you just need to remember that you're in control, they need YOUR permission to do anything to you or baby, not the other way round!

Hope you get the support you need. You can always switch hospital / consultant if you don't feel you're getting on with your current set up.

 

[sophxx]

I also have m.e and I didn't have a section tge adrenaline keeps you gpi g. I also don't know anyone who has had a section from m.e my consultant said he had never sectioned any one because of there m.e when I was worry g about it. Good luck hope you get the birth you want. X