Why isn´t it easier?

[Natsby]

Any answers?
Is the planet too full and making us have problems to stop it reaching overflow? Do you think about the environmental effects of having a child? Mine is going to have to wear a sack and grow his own veg in his nappy to ease my conscious.
No really why is it so hard and how do I cope?

 

[peanutpup]

I agree "why is it so hard"--Wish I had answers

Why is it people who don't try or want suddenly end up with a bump and us who would give up everything and jump through fiery hoops for the glimmer a of chance to have one or one more just end up with shattering disappointment--just doesn't seem fair.

 

[Jax41]

Nats and peanutpup big hugs girls....I think we ALL feel like this at times. Just to add my twopenneth, I don't understand how I've got to 42 and never been preg, not even a scare, hello...hello....where ever you are....

Jax
xXx

 

[alison29]

I can't understand it either. Most of the women i know in 3-D world fall their first or second month or on accident while on birth control. I think maybe the souls coming to us aren't ready or we aren't ready for them. Maybe it's that we aren't thinking right. We are thinking about how much we want a baby not about having one (the whole secret idea and manifesting). Maybe that is why the old adage is true adopt a baby get pregnant. As soon as you give up and quit pushing for something it is able to come to you. I haven't figured out how to quit trying to control things yet though!

 

[Natsby]

Nats and peanutpup big hugs girls....I think we ALL feel like this at times. Just to add my twopenneth, I don't understand how I've got to 42 and never been preg, not even a scare, hello...hello....whever you are....

Jax
xXx

Jax I imagine you shouting that last line up into a cave like vagina, Hellooo ooo anyone there, (omg my head is weird!)
I was talking to a friend of mine about this the other day. She had never been careful about bc and still didn´t get pregnant until they tried. Now she has two, I would say no mistakes is just luck, not a sign you can´t. SO when you lo arrives it gets a brand new womb, never been used, lucky them!!

 

[readyformore]

I've been looking for the number to managment to call and complain.

I'll let you know if I find it.

Seriously though, I don't understand it either. I see so many unfit parents take home healthy babies. My own cousin is addicted to heroin and had a healthy baby at 18 after 4 abortions.
I have taken care of homeless drug addicts that take home a baby.
I had one baby where the mother was giving him up for adoption, but the adoptive family changed their mind about wanting him b/c they were going to get divorced. Then, they decided to adopt him anyway. This poor baby was never really wanted by anyone.
I had one patient that was married and she and her husband had 5 kids. They only kept the first 2. The next 3, they adopted out (for money). WTF?
Then, I had a patient that we had to call child protective services on b/c her other 2 kids got removed from her care b/c she choose to live with her child molester boyfriend.
And what about the 14 year olds? I do think that some teenagers can actually be good parents. But, 14? You've got to be kidding me.

I don't understand why these people get to have babies, but so many good people struggle.

I've tried to make sense of it all. It's so frustrating.

There really are no answers. I'm so sorry.

I hope you catch a break soon.

 

[Jax41]

QUOTE=Jax41;14091932]Nats and peanutpup big hugs girls....I think we ALL feel like this at times. Just to add my twopenneth, I don't understand how I've got to 42 and never been preg, not even a scare, hello...hello....whever you are....

Jax
xXx[/QUOTE]

Jax I imagine you shouting that last line up into a cave like vagina, Hellooo ooo anyone there, (omg my head is weird!)

Nats, that sooo made me laugh, yea it's getting a bit like that!!

[I was talking to a friend of mine about this the other day. She had never been careful about bc and still didn´t get pregnant until they tried. Now she has two, I would say no mistakes is just luck, not a sign you can´t. SO when you lo arrives it gets a brand new womb, never been used, lucky them!!

Ahh, thanks!!!

 

[peanutpup]

I have a white board in my office with one word on it to remind me daily in case I waiver and that word it "Persistence". We only fail when when we stop reaching for our star. There are many opportunistic moments in our lives that are there to help us grow and I have just gone through one. Each month it doesn't happen is for a reason--I am telling myself now it is because I am preparing for the perfect healthy pregnancy that is meant to be! for everyone

 

[peacebaby]

ladies,you speak my thoughts.

during the last two and half weeks I've been in and out of the clinic waiting anxiously for blood and scan results as if my life depended on it. At each visit I have witnessed the two extremes of this fertility 'play': women in our age group leaving the clinic in tears, no doubt having been given the terrible news of an early mc or worse. then on other days I saw teenagers swaggering in and out seemingly oblivious to the fact that "being knocked up" is for many of us womenfolk an epic miracle, with one young lady immediately signing up for an abortion. I don't judge the decisions teenage moms make but the mismatch between the 'desperate desire for' and the 'it was a mistake' just seems maddening to me.

I can only think that as you say Nats, as a human race we've shattered Earth and in response she protests....

 

[Natsby]

shame she couldn´t protest my stopping a few unwanted pregnancys and letting us have ours instead.

 

[Ruth2307]

Hi Ladies

You know I don't post much but I am still about. Questions, questions questions...

This thread caught my eye because today for some reason I am feeling extremely maternal (most days I am simply maternal but today the feeling is 'extreme') Who could ever have predicted that having a family would be quite so difficult?

Perhaps it's something to do with having another birthday recently. How did I get to 38 and still have no kids?? It wasn't supposed to be this way. I waited God knows how long to finally fall pregnant and then to go and lose the baby...my God words fail me. It's the old paradox of too scared to try again in case you face another painful loss but then the thought of not having any at all is too sad to even contemplate. What are you supposed to do???

I think today I have been thinking about what I would have been doing in preparation for the arrival. My justification for spending so much recently is that I would have found the money for the baby wouldn't I?

Yes Natsby and everyone else tell me, why isn't it easier?

 

[Sus09]

Well,
why is it so difficult! I think it is just because we are nice people who want the best, that is why. I am sure if we were nasty and did horrible things we would have lots of things going for us. The same with TTC, if we didn´t care about our kids then we would have loads of them.

Some of the people I work with in work have had all their kids taken into care and you see them carrying a new baby!

It just all seems unfair to me.
And yes I feel a bit down today, had a nasty learner giving me lots of abuse, and that has made me think that being nice does not seem to bring a lot good things

BUT... when we get it girls, when we have our baby in our arms we will then be caring and proud mothers

 

[Natsby]

O a down day I was saying to my brother I shouldn´t even have kids as the world it already too full. He said all the a*****ls have kids, a few good people need to have them too so we don´t leave the world in the hands of idiots. He is a wise man my bro!

 

[Sus09]

I like your brother! he is wise!

Lol I like the idea of groving veg out of nappies as well Oh isn´t it crazy all this! Things should be a lot easier!

 

[Natsby]

Sorry you had a horrid client today Sus I´m glad your nice, even if it doesn´t help in your line of work keep it up.
I always try to make my classes fun for my students, but the other day they peed me off so much I threw a tantrum and sulked all class...they behaved better than ever before. It just isn´t right that bad behavior gets better results! We need to learn to act outraged and fierce even when we aren´t, might work out better in the end.

 

[Sus09]

I know what you mean, I had to be louder and ruder than the client was!
I hate being like that, I love training people, I have fun with it, but days like today I just want to quit what I do.

Why is it that lound and rude gets you more? that is unfair, if you are nice they walk all over you! shoukd be opposite really.

 

[readyformore]

O a down day I was saying to my brother I shouldn´t even have kids as the world it already too full. He said all the a*****ls have kids, a few good people need to have them too so we don´t leave the world in the hands of idiots. He is a wise man my bro!

This is my rationalization as well.

 

[keekeesaurus]

I hear you girls. I've just turned 40 and never had a pregnancy scare or a BFP or even been with someone I wanted to have a lo with(man, I've had some sh1t bfs)...until now. Then when I found him something happened that meant we couldn't try for 2 years and now I feel like it's a race against time and I can feel myself panicking. I know we'd make brilliant parents so why isn't it happening for us? We've been NTNP since May and TTC since September and still nothing. After reading your posts nats and sus maybe we should get angry and pissy about it? Maybe then we'd get what we want!

 

[googly]

I'm with you all, you've said everything I feel already really.... but yeah... we're coming up for a year TTC and I can't *believe* the number of people who have announced their pregnancies since we've been trying. We had another one call last night - been with her partner 6 months and this was an "accident", but they're happy about it. I'm all 'hooray, that's so awesome, I'm so excited for you!'::::::::::::::::::::::

If people are getting pregnant every day, why not for us? I'm happy with my life but I'm so so so ready to get on with the next part of it....

 

[Sus09]

Yep Keekee apparently you have to be a nasty person to get a bit of luck, isnt it awful!! I just met a really nasty man today who is a father of 7 kids, all taken into care. It is so frustrating!!!!!

Googly, I know what you mean, so many bfp anouncements around and the horrible feeling that we are the ones with no bfp. In work everyone seems to be getting pregnant, except me of course....