Wifes waters broke only 31 wk 3 days

[kelly2903]

congrats xxxxx

 

[BabyHaines]

Congratulations on becoming a daddy to a beautiful (and strong!!) baby boy.
I wish you all the luck and love for the journey you are setting out on and hope that William and mummy both do very well. Be sure to keep us all updated!!xx

 

[bumpsdad]

Thanks again for the lovely thoughts & comments. Wife has managed to hand express some milk for William, Which is hard at the best of times! She has to use her hands at the moment and I have to catch each tear size drip of milk in a syringe! It takes ages to get 1ml and he needs lots before he can come off the drip.

Today is weird, we are both exhausted and if I'm honest we no longer feel elated, infact we feel quite sad and cheated (but don't blame anyone), when we are with him its fantastic, but when we leave it doesn't even feel like we have a little boy, and the pictures look like someone elses baby. I hope that passes soon

 

[Foogirl]

Thanks again for the lovely thoughts & comments. Wife has managed to hand express some milk for William, Which is hard at the best of times! She has to use her hands at the moment and I have to catch each tear size drip of milk in a syringe! It takes ages to get 1ml and he needs lots before he can come off the drip.

I found this so ridiculous, I was doing it with one of the student midwives, what a laugh we had. Those first precious drops are vital though and even a small amount is like mannah from heaven for William. In a couple of days she'll be on the electric pump and the supply will soon come in. 1 ml is a whole feed at this stage. Expressing at least every 3/4 hours will get it going - this means waking overnight too. A good tip is for her to have a photo of him to look at whilst doing it. Talking about pumps. You may be able to borrow one from the hospital, but it may be worth investing in a good one for home if she is looking to continue with breastfeeding. Having expressed milk in a bottle so dad can do feeds too is great. I recommend the medela swing. It is compact and lightweight and really effective. I got mine for about 80 quid.

Today is weird, we are both exhausted and if I'm honest we no longer feel elated, infact we feel quite sad and cheated (but don't blame anyone), when we are with him its fantastic, but when we leave it doesn't even feel like we have a little boy, and the pictures look like someone elses baby. I hope that passes soon

It will. Once you start getting involved with his care, changing nappies etc, it starts to feel much better. Missing out on that last bit of pregnancy is hard. All of a sudden it isn't all about you two any more. Unfortunately nothing will make that feel better!

It is important to take time for yourselves every once in a while. The next few weeks will be to and from the hospital. Don't feel bad about taking a day or two out, just to have a break. William will be well looked after and you both will need it.

I meant to ask, did your wife get her HIP grant? If she hasn't, she should still submit the form asap. HMRC says you wont get it, but many of us did.

 

[angelstardust]

What foo said.

And I will add, if you can get something like a wee teddy in the incu, and when she goes to express take it with her. It will pick up his scent pretty quick (once he wearing clothing a used vest will work) and the scent will really help her let down, even if you or she can't actually smell it, her body will react to the pheromones.

And yes, the anger and feeling cheated does eventually fade, I don't think it goes away completely, but you accept it and move on. Having a baby in NICU/SCBU is a very surreal experience and not one I'd wish on anyone.

I will warn you that at some point your wife will reach a 'crisis day', it affects us all at some point, the day when the hormones drop and you cry all day and you just want your baby home now but need to just GET AWAY from it all. Whatever happens at this point, don't let her make any big changes (like giving up BF etc), just let her cry and yell and do what she needs to to get it out her system. Each time it happened to me I had to go home for the night (I was ill so hadn't been discharged so it was a night at home) last time with Amber even though I knew what was happening, I ran out the NICU, hid in the public toilet crying my heart out, went upto my room at the ward packed my bag and ran out. My poor husband finally caught up with me at the car where I stood screaming in the car park that ITS NOT FAIR!!!!

 

[Foogirl]

I will warn you that at some point your wife will reach a 'crisis day', it affects us all at some point, the day when the hormones drop and you cry all day and you just want your baby home now but need to just GET AWAY from it all.

They refer to it as day three. Apparently all mums do it, but I think for us it is worse. With me it hit on day 4. They decided to move 3 other women and their babies into the ward. I called my husband and he thought the line was fuzzy. In fact I was in meltdown. He rushed straight to the hospital and checked me out.

Then a couple of weeks later I was having a bath and it hit again. I was upset that when I got home, nothing had changed. We had gone back to same old same old, but it should have been different, Abby should have been with us and we should have been having sleepless nights adn worrying about poo - but we weren't. It was really tough and Mr Foo just didn;t understand. He called my sister and she came down to visit for a weekend and got us back on an even keel.

 

[bumpsdad]

I'm feeling a bit better now, must be all the sleep I'm depriving myself of! I forgot to mention I changed his nappy today and it was a meconium tar pellet that was welded to his botty! He went berserk as soon as I started to undo his nappy then pee'd in the air as the air hit his privates, it was the most amazing thing to see happen, it was just as all the books talk about for full term babies, only everything is in miniature! And I loved every second of it! (apart from the feeling that I was gonna break him!)

 

[Foogirl]

I'm feeling a bit better now, must be all the sleep I'm depriving myself of! I forgot to mention I changed his nappy today and it was a meconium tar pellet that was welded to his botty! He went berserk as soon as I started to undo his nappy then pee'd in the air as the air hit his privates, it was the most amazing thing to see happen, it was just as all the books talk about for full term babies, only everything is in miniature! And I loved every second of it! (apart from the feeling that I was gonna break him!)

We used to have to get the nurses to turn Abby over as we were so afraid. And doing it through the holes in the incubator is like those science experiments you used to do in the fume cupboards with the gloves

Look forward to the explosive poo all over the place. We had one so bad they had to change the incubator. Mr Foo said "that's my girl"

 

[premmiemum123]

Have just re-read this thread, congratulations on your early delivery and becoming a daddy. I echo all the great advice given above. x

 

[angelstardust]

They refer to it as day three. Apparently all mums do it, but I think for us it is worse. With me it hit on day 4. They decided to move 3 other women and their babies into the ward. I called my husband and he thought the line was fuzzy. In fact I was in meltdown. He rushed straight to the hospital and checked me out.

Then a couple of weeks later I was having a bath and it hit again. I was upset that when I got home, nothing had changed. We had gone back to same old same old, but it should have been different, Abby should have been with us and we should have been having sleepless nights adn worrying about poo - but we weren't. It was really tough and Mr Foo just didn;t understand. He called my sister and she came down to visit for a weekend and got us back on an even keel.

With DS1 it was day 3, DS2 I can't remember, but I was so ill I didn't have the energy anyway, maybe day 10 . With Amber (not early but still ended up in SCBU) it was day 5 of SCBU, I had been trying to have my melt down sooner but it didn't happen. Even when you know what will happen it's still outwith your control.

I'm feeling a bit better now, must be all the sleep I'm depriving myself of! I forgot to mention I changed his nappy today and it was a meconium tar pellet that was welded to his botty! He went berserk as soon as I started to undo his nappy then pee'd in the air as the air hit his privates, it was the most amazing thing to see happen, it was just as all the books talk about for full term babies, only everything is in miniature! And I loved every second of it! (apart from the feeling that I was gonna break him!)

Haha! Urine fountain of love!

 

[embojet]

Congratulations! I know the feeling you mean about not really feeling like you have a little bot (girl in my case!) it will definately pass. Get as much rest as you can when you're not visiting, you need all the sleep you can get!

 

[bumpsmum]

those incubator nappy changes were fun, wait wil William is on the booby juice BF nappies are very interesting .

Yup I agree about the emotional days, day 3 and day 8 for me I had my meltdown, hope were not putting you off but just so you know what to expect, your wife prob will get a bit overwhelmed and emotional and you know what you might too, it may help. Def try and rest and take a little time out when you need it. I would express with a little blanket on my lap and let a few drop of milks land on it and Matthew lay on that in his incubator so I knew when I went home he had a little piece of me with him, maybe you could keep a hanki or teddy on you and give it to William let him get familiar with you - its not just mummy's scent thats important xx

 

[seekingbaby#1]

Aww I just read this thread, congrats on your baby!!! Although having him early wasn't in your plans but he decided he wanted to meet you guys early lol. My water broke at 24weeks, I'm currently still at the hospital on bedrest and praying that he cooks a little longer. Take lots of pics cuz they grow so fast

 

[CazH]

Wow just read your thread CONGRATULATIONS!! I know exactly how you feel with the shock and amazement I went in for a check up new years day evening with protest as was bleeding 24hrs later at 27weeks had a baby!! Even now nearly a year after i still cannot quite believe what happened. It is something i certainly would not wish on my worst enemy you just feel that the little boy is not yours and hate seeing mums walk out with there term babys all smiles.

I warn you it is a BIG ROLLERCOASTER one day will be brilliant the next could be bad. These babies just try you to the limit!!! Changing nappies is a challenge with all the wires and canulas and all i did was look at those beeping monitors its awful when they come off them as you rely on them so much!!

I wish you and your partner all the strength in the world and one day that little boy will be sleeping in your bed next to you!! Take care if you wanna chat about anything just pm me but honestly dont worry these little ones are so amazing!!!

 

[New2Bumps]

Congrats on your lovely baby boy x

 

[Gabrielle]

Congrats on your little man. Sounds like things are going as they normally do. I wanted to mention I have 3 preemies. 34weeks for preterm labor, 30 weeks from PPROM, and 33weeks PPROM. They are all doing wonderful now! My 30weeker will be 2 next month and he is the one I notice is tiny, but he's totally a normal two year old! And my 33weeker..you couldnt even tell looking at him he was preemie...he's 5 months and weights 17lbs!!

I just wanted to tell you that I know these days are hard and long..but it will all be worth it in the end..and you'll be looking back wondering where the time has went.

Enjoy each moment with him and I pray he'll be home soon. Take it day by day! And ask lots of questions!