Wish I was stronger than this

[Jennifurball]

I thought I had done the right thing leaving ex but when I think about it, I have felt worse about things since I had. I have had threats from the family, the police involved, worried about court in the future if he decides to come back.

The thing hurting me the most is thinking of him introducing his slags to my daughter (he likes to think he is a ladies man), I don't want another woman in her life. I am her mum and the thought of him wanting to take her out with another woman, looking like a family, well it makes me sick TBH. When will this all get easier?

I just wish he would never come home and never bother about her again.

 

[whatwillbe]

You have done the right thing ! Just remember all the reasons you left him in the 1st place, and his fam sound just as bad as him, if they carry on I'd cut all contact with them too, if you haunt already , as for him introducing his latest piece of meat to ur daughter, it's completely up to you, if he has access, tell him to come to your house to see her maybe ? Or another family members house ? Your stronger than you think ! P.s love your new siggy x

 

[Jennifurball]

Thanks.

Well my mum has made it clear he is not allowed anywhere near this house. I am going to be looking into getting somewhere else to live after Christmas though as I need my independence back so I guess I could let him round there and I just go upstairs or something so I don't have to sit with him. I don't trust him or his family to take her anyway. I would rather it be done in a contact centre really but why should I keep making effort for him cos he was a fool and ruined my life?

 

[fairydust87]

You ARE stronger than this. Jenny I have been reading ypur posts about this guy since third tri and have always though why doesnt she just leave him and when you did I was like thank god. Embrace single life embrace youself as the strong independant women you are. Hes a waste you dont need him Scarlet dont need him! Hes NOT going to take Scarlet from you his fucked up family arent gonna take Scarlet from you its all talk to get you going and its working. Dont give them the satisfaction. As for him getting someone else pity that women. Even if he does sort his act out hes still the same person inside. Think about Scarlet and how she will see you. You want her to grow up thinking 'yeah this is my strong mummy. Shes been through so much shit yet shes pulled through' You are a role model now. She looks up to you. Imagine her in your situation you would tell her to get a grip and forfet the guy tell her shes way to good for him. YOU are way to good for him Jenny. YOU can do better. Think.about YOU and Scarlet. You are the only ones who matter. I feel so sad reading your posts as obviously your going through a hard time but please please dont lose yourself. You are great and awesome mum. Dont give anyone ammunition to throw back at you. Your better than that! Xxx

 

[Jennifurball]

Thank you.

It is sad that I have been moaning about him pretty much from the start of being on here, and it took me this long to do something about it. Wish I'd have left him when I was pg then he would have no legal rights. I regret putting him on the birth cert and I most certainly regret giving her his last name. I never wanted to do that anyway.

I feel stronger from reading what you said. You are right, he will always be that person. If he can't change in 5 years for me, and for his baby girl, then he isn't going to change for some random woman he has met.

 

[fairydust87]

Exactly and although you cant take his name off you can change her name to yours through deed poll x

 

[Jennifurball]

I thought I needed his permission for that, in that case, I would have no chance.

My sister said though he would be classed as an estranged father, but I don't know how long they aren't supposed to be in contact before I can gain sole custody.

 

[fairydust87]

You could get a residency order x

 

[Jennifurball]

What does that involve and does that mean he can't take her at any time? x

 

[Dream.dream]

You can get an residency order or co habitation order . It means he is not aloud to have anyone who is his spouse girl friend ect around your daughter, or if they live with him he can't have your daughter at his house

I personally have a rule that until they've been dating for at least 6 month I won't even consider any significant other meet my son. I didn let my boyfriend meet my son so now his dad can't do it with his gf either

And since he's a di*k and a player it's worked so far

 

[Jennifurball]

I feel the same, I don't want any random men meeting her, so I am not being hypocritical by saying he can't see people. I just want Scarlett to know who I am and not play happy families with some slapper who he will prob drive away in 6 months. I hate being tied to him like this, this is why I don't feel I can get over things.