Wish me luck - telling midwife i want a HWB at my appointment tomorrow!

[mrsp14]

I've already been told no, but i was lacking in knowledge and just accepted the outright no rather than asking why or anything.
Now i know more...... and im gonna argue the point and hopefully get my home water birth with out to much of a fight!!!!

I had a manual placenta removal last time as the cord snapped when dd was born and i ended up with a managed 3rd stage... not entirely wha ti wanted but i was made to feel like i had to at the time!!!

So...wish me luck...im very nervous...im not the most confident of people and im not great at sticking up for myself!!!!

 

[Mervs Mum]

Lots of luck!! Be strong and remember: Your body, your baby, your birth!

 

[ZoeZo]

Good luck! Maybe the outcome will give me some confidence to push for one too - i can't see the above being a reason to refuse you this time

 

[mrsp14]

Good luck! Maybe the outcome will give me some confidence to push for one too - i can't see the above being a reason to refuse you this time

They already told me no for the above reasons!!! That's why I'm nervous !!!

 

[ZoeZo]

Yeah sorry I meant I don't know why they've used that as a reason to say, there's nothing to say the same will happen at all! I'm nervous on your behalf lol! (I was told a fibroid is high-risk and homebirth wouldn't be adviseable) I know they can't refuse, but I feel bad 'pushing' one if that makes sense (bit like you)

 

[mrsp14]

Yeah sorry I meant I don't know why they've used that as a reason to say, there's nothing to say the same will happen at all! I'm nervous on your behalf lol! (I was told a fibroid is high-risk and homebirth wouldn't be adviseable) I know they can't refuse, but I feel bad 'pushing' one if that makes sense (bit like you)

The way I see it even if it does happen again the hospital is a 30 min drive normally so very worse case scenario an ambulance is honna get me there quicker than that!!!

Good luck to you. 2 and a half hours till my appointment!! :-S

 

[disneyleanne]

How did you get on? Remember although it can seem like a daunting task, no-one has the right to tell you no. It's your choice.

 

[mrsp14]

They didn't say no but they did try and talk us out of it. Lots of talk about high risk of needing a manual placenta removal again and the chances if me bleeding to death!!

And they said to OH while I was out if the room that it seems the only women who want home births are the ones that shouldn't have them! This made me a bit angry as he already seemed a bit unsure.

But we've got a referral to the consultant midwife who manages home births here so we'll see!!

 

[disneyleanne]

Sounds like the standard scare tactics that they use. as long as you do your own research and feel comfortable with your decision then you are good to go. I have had 2 emcs and am planning a HWB this time. The consultant was taken back when I told him but he could see I had educated myself and it also helps to have a supportive midwife. If yours is giving off negative vibes then I strongly suggest you change to a pro home birth midwife.

 

[mrsp14]

Sounds like the standard scare tactics that they use. as long as you do your own research and feel comfortable with your decision then you are good to go. I have had 2 emcs and am planning a HWB this time. The consultant was taken back when I told him but he could see I had educated myself and it also helps to have a supportive midwife. If yours is giving off negative vibes then I strongly suggest you change to a pro home birth midwife.

I don't have a specific midwife I have a team of midwives. Only one is pro home birth as far as I know from talking to others!! Fingers crossed the consultant midwife will be pro!!!

I'm worried about OH now though... He's a worrier and he's been really quiet since the appointment. I think the midwife telling him that if I hemmoraged I could bleed to death very quickly has put the scares in him!! Fingers crossed he won't change his mind as I need his support for this!!!

 

[Mervs Mum]

Consultant mws are usually pretty good

 

[mrsp14]

Consultant mws are usually pretty good

Fingers crossed. I have discovered after todays appointment that the midwife i saw is normally pretty anti home birth!!!

I can just see it now... i'll get my home birth and she'll be the on call midwife when i go into labour!!!

 

[ZoeZo]

So similiar to what I'm being told, my OH was swayed by the consultants and MW's scare tactics that I could bleed and need a transfusion etc, I guess they are worried about us at the end of the day and not read as in-depth/educated themselves as much as us. The only midwife I see out of a team is alleged to be the most 'medicalised' too. My OH was surprisingly very supportive up until then.
Even my midwife friend said that if delivery is totally normal there is no reason why third stage can't be played by ear - I'm sure MW carry syntometrine anyway so if I do have a bleed/ at home they can just give it to me then? Hoping breastfeeding etc will make it clamp down enough anyway regardless of fibroid.

She did make it clear it was my decision not to have managed third stage, but also pushed that it wouldn't be a good idea. So I'm nervous to bring up the HB idea again too.

I've got 34 week appointment Tuesday and might have the boss midwife (even though when I saw her last time she was the one that mentioned being on a drip etc!)

Sorry I've hi-jacked your thread!

Glad they categorically didn't say no to you though, that gives you a bit of extra positivity!