Wishing the early weeks of my pregnancy away!

[Sproglett]

I know that sounds awful, I had a mmc in Nov 2010, followed by an ectopic in May 2011 and then a miscarriage in Sep 2011, I'm now 9w+2 by my scan last monday (or 9w+6 by my LMP) but i really want the first 12 weeks done and dusted so i can start enjoying my pregnancy and building a bond with baby. My mmc was at 11w+3 we had the slightest bleed ever (and i mean slight) and my dh wanted me to be checked out (me thinking nothing of it or that i might be spotting etc didn't want to waste the time of the staff in A&E, but thats where we ended up) the staff then booked me for an emergency early scan the next day where baby was as clear as anything on the screen, but had no heart beat, after 2 1/2 weeks of torture, i finally miscarried (i had the option to have a d&c but i wanted it to happen naturally). we finally plucked up the courage to try again and had a bleed at 6w, we were sent for an early scan but nothing was visable, we had bloods and went back 48 hrs later for more bloods (they were rising) after 2 more scans + an internal scan which showed nothing and several more blood tests, i was sent for an exploratopry laperoscope at 9w and they found an ectopic pregnancy on my right tube and removed the baby and part of my tube. In september we then had another BFP, then to start bleeding the following day, this time i only needed the one scan as it was confirmed i had lost the baby. Well we got another BFP on 31/12/11 and i have been petrified since that i may lose the baby, I've had 3 early scans (the 1st they saw nothing and thought i might be ectopic again, the second baby was in the right place and strong hb and the third was because i had a bleed, baby still in the right place with a strong hb) but i still just want to get past the 12 week mark!

 

[wookie130]

I can completely empathize with you on this.

You have had many recurrent painful losses, and you want nothing more than to feel "in the clear.". I have had 1 mmc in July last year, and am now about 4 1/2 weeks along, after TTC for 6 cycles. I get my hcg progression results today, and am desperately hoping they rise. I'm worried the "worry" won't leave at all...not until I have a live baby in my arms.

 

[cb1]

I'm with you on this one, after 2 mmcs last year I'm petrified of it happening again. I have my first appointment at the epau on Wednesday where I think they will do a scan. The problem is with my last mmc we had an early scan, saw the heartbeat, and still went on to lose it (similar to your mmc, only a slight blead to show anything was wrong).

I do find this forum is a great source of support and shared experience really helps. I think I'll be hanging out here for the duration (how ever long that is this time...) rather than the first tri area.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, and hopefully in a few months we'll all be swapping labour stories!

 

[Sproglett]

thanks to both of you, at least i know i'm not the only one, Its a horrible thing to want the weeks to hurry up, i feel like I'm wishing away my pregnancy, which i dont want to do, just the first 12 weeks will do me for now! FX for you guys too, hopefully we'll all go on to very successful pregnancies x x

 

[Bumpblues82]

I deffo know that feeling I have one healthy 3 yr old but have had 5 mcs since having him (6 weeks but found out at 10, 5 weeks, 14 weeks 9 weeks and last one in oct 11 at 9 weeks ish) and I'm now 7+5 weeks I've had a early scan and there's a hb and I have tons of symptoms ( boobs feel like there gonna drop off, sickness and tired alot) and this time I dunno if it's cause I'm at UNI and distracted but I keep forgetting and sometime wish I wasn't pg but not cause I don't want a baby just I'm scared to go thru it all again, this time we weren't even trying it was by accident! I dunno if it's a good thing that I'm not worried or stressed this time cause with the last one I panicked like mad and had about 4 early scans!! So confused! Xx

 

[Sproglett]

well FX for you, everytime i go to the loo i'm double wiping incase there's blood, its so scary, i want to go for another scan to make sure i'm not having another mmc and to be able to see my babies hb again, i would actually go daily if i could just to be sure! i wish at this early stage you'd feel movement etc so you could know everything is ok

 

[3xscharmer]

Yeah, you are so not the only one, just found out I'm pg again after 5 miscarriages, the last was in December, I was 11 weeks but the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks...so missed miscarriage and it put me in labor for 2 hours before I finally miscarried, even though the baby was really small, everything else was not! I just want to be like 14 weeks right now, I'm even jelous that you're already so far along lol!!

 

[Sproglett]

Well got my scan date yesterday, going on 1st march (3 weeks today) hopefully as I've got 1/2 term next week due to working in a school, it should go quickly.

 

[Donna210369]

Oh I know just what you mean. I had 2 mc's last year and am currently 7+3 y dates but 7+6 by scan. I've been bleeding brown blood for over 3 weeks which panics me no end. I've had 3 scans, all looks fine, cannot see where blood is coming from, been told not to worry. HA! how can I not worry when i'm bleeding. you are not supposed to bleed when you're pg! Wish i was at 12weeks, wish even more the bleeding would stop. Good luck eveyone xx

 

[tu123]

I'm in the same boat too!

I am nearly into the second tri but it still upsets and worries me!

We have decided that we wont have anymore if this all goes well.

I just cant handle the worry

 

[SabrinaKat]

Just try to take it one day at a time -- it's really hard, I know. I felt really disconnected the first three or four MONTHS and couldn't even acknowledge this last pregnancy until after we passed the previous mc date (7-8wks), even then, I went into every appointment terrified that I had lost this one....

I've posted elsewhere (and at length!), but how you feel is completely normal. We didn't tell anyone until 12wks (I had to tell my overall boss as with the previous mc had had numerous problems), but I really don't think we/I relaxed at all.

I'll agree that it wasn't baby was in my arms did I relax (see below), and even now, we are in shock that the little fellow is here....so, try and take it easy on yourself and you are among friends here!

best wishes

 

[Sproglett]

Scan today

 

[3xscharmer]

Good luck with your scan - I had one at the ER at 5+5 (cramping scared me as it was quite painfull) and I was measuring 6+1 with HB of 125...course I've never had a scan that early so don't actually know if any of my other pregnancies stated out that normal or not...and now less than a week later I'm scared out of my mind again! Hope you have some good news and much need reasurance today...btw still jelous that you're further ahead lol!

 

[3xscharmer]

Sabrina - I felt the same way with DD, I never felt like I was actually going to have her and didn't rest until she was safely here...I was in shock took, couldn't believe I had a baby to put in the nursery, it was just so sureal and I never thought it would happen for me!

 

[Sproglett]

12w+4

 

[3xscharmer]

Congrats sproglett - great pic honey!

 

[Bumpblues82]

Well I'm now 10+3 by the scan I had and I still have symptoms even they come and go now and again (which doesn't help) my 12 week scan is in 13days so I'm keeping fingers crossed even tho for me hitting 12 weeks doesn't mean I'm in the safe zone as I have had a mc at 16 weeks and babies heart stopped at 14 so I'll relax when I feel it move and with my son that was 17 weeks ish so maybe a lil earlier this time! I actually think the scan wasn't right as it means hubby's sperm lived longer than expected as app that means I conceived around the 4th jan but I can't see that being right so I think it's about a week out ish so I'd be 11+1 hmmz Spose I'll find out in 13 days!! X

 

[Sproglett]

yeah, scans are not always correct, but also once the sperm has fertillised the egg it can take upto 14 days for it to implant, (the body is a strange but amazing thing) hope all goes well in your scan x x