Wits end about to give up :(

[kittenclare]

So as the title says I'm at my wits end, my tale is long so I apolagise
My lil boy is 9 weeks old and had a posterior tongue tie at birth which wasn't picked up until he had destroyed my nipples 3 days later. I was told to put him to the breast then top him up with expressed milk until the tie was snipped which is what I did, he was admitted to hospital at 5 days with Juandice and weight loss, he had phototherapy and we continued feeding topping up pumping until 5 weeks when his tongue tie was snipped , after a week he did latch and feed better and I didn't need to pump or top up. Then at 8 weeks all he'll broke lose he would scream and writhe in pain to the point our go rang an ambulance and sent us to hospital where he was diagnosed with reflux and given ranitidine and gaviscon which initially helped but now our new issue is his shallow latch is stopping him from transferring milk effectivley so he will feed for hours but as he's only latched onto the nipple he's not getting enough to satisfy him EVER ! I've tried ever position, nipple sand which, flipple, exaggerated latching, holding his chin down he just slips back onto the nipple causing him to get aggravated and my nipples to get squashed and sore
If any one has any other tips I would be very grateful

 

[_Meep_]

Have you tried looking under his top lip to see if he is lip tied? Signs might be a top lip that is difficult to flange out, or tucks in as he breastfeeds, a piece of skin under his lip, thick or thin, that connects low into the tissue under the edge of his gums and restricts lifting of the lip, or blanches white when it is lifted, a blister or callous on his top lip ... I could go on ...

Lip tie and posterior tie often go hand in hand. Our daughter's posterior tongue tie has now been cut but she is still lip-tied. We are working round it, and we are ok now, but whatever it is that is bothering your little boy sounds like it is causing him quite a lot of trouble.

Lip ties can very much affect a baby's latch. Sometimes they are so tight that it is uncomfortable for the baby to open his mouth wide or flip his top lip out, so no matter how hard his mother tries, as soon as the breast is deep in his mouth, he slips back off and tucks his lip back in where it is comfortable.

https://www.mommypotamus.com/a-step-by-step-guide-to-diagnosing-tonguelip-ties/

The info on lip ties is a little way down the page. I have done a lot of research on this - hell, I've had eight months now of nursing a lip-tied baby, and for half of that time, nobody would listen to me when I said something was wrong. So I've spent a lot of time reading lol.

We finally met an IBCLC at 4 months who confirmed she was indeed tied and treated her. The bad news is, if you are in the UK, there are only two places (I think) who will treat a lip-tied baby.

 

[noon_child]

Where are you based. It sounds like you could benefit from meeting with someone like a board certified lactation consultant who could watch a whole feed and try to work out what is going on.

From what you say he fed great between weeks 5 and 8 but now he's gone back to latching shallowly? That isn't something I've come across before but if you found a support group with other breastfeeding Mums you may find others who experienced similar.

I can give you hope though. My LO was failing to gain enough weight, my nipples were squashed and flattened after every (agonising) feed, I was pumping after feeds to increase my supply and topping her up. Then suddenly week 10 it was a bit more bearable, week 11 it didn't hurt anymore at all. She had grown enough to be able to take more breast tissue and her tongue had stretched so she could cup the breast with it!
I bf to 27months after that rocky start.

 

[kittenclare]

Meep, he is lip tied but no one seems to think its a problem or help us with it, I think there's now only 1 place that do it as the one inHuddersfield has stopped. He's now stopped sucking on even a bottle I just have to wiggle it round in his mouth. I'm trying craineial osteopathy sorry for bad spelling tomorrow I just don't know what else to do, I should be enjoying him now not fighting to feed I'm also fighting to get my supply back up.

Moon I'm glad it finally got better I'm just hoping I can hold out that long !! I have been to a lactation consultant several times and every problem we fix a new one arises I'm clutching at straws now as everyone is telling me to give up

 

[_Meep_]

The only other place is on Harley Street I believe.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It is so worrying and stressful, not to mention upsetting, when your baby won't feed at all. Hopefully it is just a temporary stage and things will improve.

My baby used to go on nursing strike a lot. Have you tried feeding him while he is very sleepy or asleep? This is how my daughter and I kept breastfeeding through her strikes. She wasn't really aware of what was going on, so she was easier to position and her sucking reflex just took over.

Eight months into her life, we now breastfeed pretty much normally, with very few problems, so it can be done and things usually do improve with time. If it's making you very unhappy though, maybe it would be best to stop?

I would be lying if I said I didn't regret being so miserable for the first six months or her life, and all because I forced myself to keep breastfeeding.