Wondering if anyone else feels like this sometimes...

[dinosaur2010]

Recently- within the last month- I have been experiencing really down feelings now and again. It comes over me for no apparent reason and can last from 10 minute to hours. I am a generally happy person and I love looking forward to things and to the future. It's like something small will trigger it and I will feel this knot in my stomach and I will just get this 'life is shit' feeling that takes over- even though I know my life is not shit, I have everything I wanted this time last year and life is good. It isn't often but it is often enough that I'm concerned that it is going to escalate into depression/anxiety or something similar.
I'll give some examples to give you an idea:
Last Sat, I picked up LO from my Mums and home to make our dinner- DH left kitchen slightly untidy, didn't put dishwasher on. I had to tidy up before making dinner- typical guy not seeing mess. But this bothered me so much I was so angry at him and I couldn't relax all evening, all I was thinking was that I had to tidy up. It was such rubbish and I so wished it didn't bother me. I know I should have jut been enjoying my playing with LO and bedtime routine, but I was sitting worrying about housework and raging at DH. He ended up calling me and I got really upset and he ended up coming home from work early.
Another example is the other morning I felt happy getting up, getting LO ready and let DH have an extra hour in bed. I then went for a shower and this dark feeling came over me again- I can only pinpoint that it could have possibly been because we hadn't made much of a plan for our day off and it all felt a bit boring trying to decide.
So there have been about 4 or 5 occasions in the past month that have stood out for me as slightly more than just feeling fed up etc. The feeling are not circumstantial either, me and DH getting on well, LO happy and healthy- life is good for me.
Just wondering if anyone's had anything similar? Don't fancy going to the GP about this. I don't need anti depressants or counselling. My mum has suggested acupuncture which I may try.
I guess when I'm feeling happy I kind of brush it off and forget how bad it is, but when I feel this dark feeling I feel awful. Is it maybe my hormones do you think? My LO is 12 months old and I've had 5 periods so far- they are just regulating now.

 

[HelenJane]

I know what you mean but I think for me it is more circumstances. I do get where you're coming from though. I can only think its just hormones.

 

[seoj]

Could be so many things hun- I know that I have mild anxiety, and things "get under my skin" much more if I'm stressed or irritable (especially when PMSing)- it got worse for a while after my Mom was diagnosed with Cancer- as I was more able to handle the big things- as I had no control, I just had to stay positive- but something so little, like an extra mess (such as you described) would send me over the edge and I'd burst! It was not a "fun" feeling at all- and I made the decision to see a counselor to help manage my extra anxiety. BUT- I also had good reason with my Mom being sick (eventually passing away) and work was extra stressful and just trying to manage my family, work, life... all that entails... it just took me a bit to find a good rhythm that worked for me. I also had to learn to let go of certain things- that I couldn't "do it all". Counseling helped me come to terms with some of that too.

We also hired a cleaning lady to come twice a week- since part of my anxiety is I need a clean house or it get's under my skin. I am better able to relax now about messes- knowing they will be taken care of and we just have to deal with the little daily tasks- and hubby and SD also do their part.

I can't tell you why you are feeling this way- but try your best to see if there is something triggering it? Maybe it is hormones- it can take a full year just for our bodies to get "back to normal" after having a baby... not to mention becoming a new mom and all the craziness that brings can affect us too. I have no great advise- you might try a natural mood enhancer for a while though- I did. And it really did help with my overall anxiety-- I would feel it the worst driving to work. But I take SAM-e in the mornings before breakfast (30mins prior) and it does help. Nothing crazy, but just a bit of a calming affect and I do tend to have more energy too- and I also suffer with chronic pain- and it helps with that too. Just a thought

We all have moments we are more on edge- for one reason or another. Least your moments are few and far between I can't remember that last time I had one- outside of PMS... haha... so I deff made good progress My life is pretty damn great! So I want to appreciate it every day for what it is. Just like I'm sure you do too!