Worried about my neice

[Mamof1]

My neice was born at 32 weeks weighing 1lb 10oz (Im not sure why she was so small). Shes now 29 months and is walking and chatting away. Im just worried about her weight. She is a tiny 17lbs and barely eats anything. I have no idea if this is normal, and to be honest her parents seem abit clueless. Is this normal for being born so tiny, is there anything I could sort of drop into conversation ( so it doesnt seem like im interfering) that would help her to gain some. Her mother mentioned she is really weak and tired most of the time.

Sorry to barge in like this Im just a born worrier.

 

[AP]

Hard one really. I imagine her LO is under or was under some medical profession due to her weight? You could really offend someone in this position though

 

[Mamof1]

Yeah she see's a consultant but they never mention anything about her visits. I just worry. I think they mess on too much with her, washing hands constantly and wiping her face when shes eating. I just think for gods sake let her eat .Hopefully she gains some soon as its heartbreaking seeing her so small and getting weaker x

 

[AP]

If she sees a consultant regularly it does sound like they are on the case then!

*sounds like my MIL she keeps wiping them too

 

[Foogirl]

I would agree with Atomic's first comment. This is a minefield, and I would caution against saying anything, no matter how well meaning your are or how "clueless" you think they are. You can only guess what they have been through and are still going through. Preemie babies are well catered for I terms of follow up, and maybe they never mention the consultants visits because they feel it is none of anyone's business.

Abby stuck at the 17/18 lb mark for a loooooong time at that age and she was a healthy weight when born. She would simply not eat much. And if her hands or face got dirty, she would stop eating altogether so wiping her clean during dinner avoided any tantrums and was the only way to get her to continue eating. She was eventually put on a supplement and that was the only thing that helped. I can assure you, her consultant visits will check her weight and they will intervene if there is a problem. If you try, especially if you want to make comparisons with there you *think* she should be, you risk causing some pretty bad feeling. I love my sister dearly, but there were times I came close to falling out with her about her well meant words.

 

[Marleysgirl]

I don't like the sound of the weak & tired description, that would worry me.

My boy Andrew was born weighing 1lb 6oz and is now 29m actual age. I shall bring home some decent weighing scales from work this weekend (don't ask!) and weigh him to let you know how he compares. Size-wise he's still small, wearing 9-12m trousers and 12-18m tops. But I wouldn't describe him as weak and tired, much the opposite - quite strong and muscly, and full of beans.

Andrew now only sees his paediatric consultant every six months so if he did have a weight/feeding issue and I wasn't so clued up, it could be five months before the paediatrician picked up on any problem. Preemie mums really do have to be their baby's advocate and shout for help when needed.

 

[Mamof1]

Thanks for the input. I will just leave them to it. I can't help but worry though. I love her so much and just want to see her happy. Sorry for intruding.

 

[Marleysgirl]

Thanks for the input. I will just leave them to it. I can't help but worry though. I love her so much and just want to see her happy. Sorry for intruding.

You weren't intruding We welcome parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents - anyone with questions about preemies!!

(PS. Forgot the scales, so I can't weigh Andrew, sorry!)

 

[Foogirl]

I agree, we really do welcome these sorts of questions. It's great you wanted to check up a little before you weighed in. Preemie mums are generally much more sensitive to this kind of thing. Of course you are worried, but perhaps a way forward is to take a broader approach. Just ask how the consultants visits are going, or drop in a throwaway question with a load of others e.g "I have no idea how preemies develop, is she doing ok with development and weight and stuff". Or, if mum mentions again about her being weak, just ask, "is the consultant happy with her weight and stuff?" I was far more open to these types of thing, especially if the questioner made it clear they were interested in the preemie issue. What would always put me off is the "I think" type comments.