Worried about repeated MMC

[Mamamumum]

I don't know if I really fit in here or not. I have a nearly 4yr old son and a 1yr old daughter. I had a MMC between them, immediately before we conceived our daughter. I am mow expecting baby #4. I knew from the moment I got my BFP with my mmc that something was wrong, largley because of my lack of symptoms. I'd had all the usual with my son and pretty severe sickness but I had nothing. I spent weeks researching miscarriages, found out about missed miscarriages and was certain that was what I was having. I told my partner I was worried and got the usual, "I'm sure it'll all be fine". In fact I also got the same response from my best friend. I didn't tell my midwife my concerns because I knew it would fall on deaf ears. By the time I went for the 12wk US I had decided which treatment option I wanted. And sure enough, there was a tiny baby, with no hb. It had stopped growing at around 7wks. I just laid on the US table crying and saying, "I knew it. I knew there was something wrong. I knew it."
We conceived our daughter the cycle immediately after the bleeding had stopped and apart from some episodes of reduced movement and a couple of scans which showed her growth was going down she picked herself back up right at the end and was born at 40+1 weighing a healthy 7lbs 1oz.
And that brings me to this pregnancy. And again I have this sense of doom. I've talked about it on the First Tri board but obviously it is an upsetting topic.
There is some confusion surrounding my dates (I put myself at about 9wks but because of my strange last period the Doc I saw yesterday thinks it's possible I could have been expecting then. I have my first MW appt on Tuesday and the Doc said she thinks I might be sent for a dating scan to make sure I'm not further along than I thought. And I honestly don't WANT a scan because I feel so sure it's going to be bad news again. And I know there is no way of knowing and it's no good delaying the inevitable if that is what's going on... I just... I don't know. I guess I just feel so out of control. I was just hoping for a bit of support I guess.

 

[karoolia]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I had a very similar experience with my last pregnancy (mc and D&C). I just found out I was pregnant again a few days ago. I feel more confident this time, but am so very nervous about it happening again.

I have no idea how to make it easier, but I just wanted to say you aren't alone.

 

[Trying4first1]

Same here ladies.
Pregnant again after 4 losses back to back. Last MC in November. Recently diagnosed with high NK cells and clotting disorder.
Really didn't think I would be pregnant again just yet as we have never conceiveid this fast We only started trying in May. I can't believe I am here!
Just taking it a day at a time. But despite all the medication i can't see a happy ending just yet. Hoping I will later on. Time will tell

 

[Sweetkat]

Trying, good luck. How far along are you? I am 5&6 after 4 losses (3 miscarriages and one chemical). I have one DD also.

I have slightly elevated NK cells although no explanation re why my DD was born fine and OH has high DNA fragmentation which leads to chromosomal issues with embryos. Second and third was definitely chromosomal (second was always behind and third had trisomy 21). I am not feeling hopeful.

 

[Trying4first1]

Hi sweet Kat.
I am only 4+5 so it's mega early days still. Found out last Wednesday at 11dpo.
Same as me I've had 3MMC and one chemical.
With NK cells the levels can vary from cycle to cycle. So you probably conceived your DD on a cycle where they were low, indicating a good environment for the pregnancy to take place.
I only had our third loss tested and that was normal. My second was a Blighted Ovum and that may have been chromosomal
Which meds are you on?
I'm on clexane 20mg once daily, prednisolone 20mg once a day and 200mg cyclogest (progesterone) twice a day

 

[Sweetkat]

I am not on any medication, as I think all my losses were due to bad luck/ OH's sperm fragmentation. The last two were definitely chromosomal.

I am only 5&5, found out at just over 3 weeks so I have known for ages.... Time is going so slowly

 

[Mamamumum]

Hi ladies. Thanks for the input. It's nice just to know I'm not the only one. I'm not the sort of person that can just bury my head in the sand when something may wrong so I tend to dwell on it instead.
Had my MW appt today and they aren't too worried about the dates being too out. They've put me at the upper end of what I think though so they've put 10wks on my file. So should have the routine scan in a couple of weeks.

Trying I hope these early days go easy on you. It's so hard not to worry isn't it, especially after experiencing a MMC. The idea that it can have gone so utterly wrong and your body not know is terrifying. I try to keep in mind that MMC are rare. So hard when you read so many horror stories from so many ladies though.

Sweet kat the early days do always seem to drag don't they?

 

[Trying4first1]

I am not on any medication, as I think all my losses were due to bad luck/ OH's sperm fragmentation. The last two were definitely chromosomal.

I am only 5&5, found out at just over 3 weeks so I have known for ages.... Time is going so slowly

Ahhh sounds like they may have been bad luck for sure.
Wishing all the luck Sweet Kat.
Yeah I was 3+6 when I found out but only 11dpo as i ovaulate later.
This time is going to drag.
Really hoping all this medication will be worth it.
Finally did a clexane injection this evening that didn't hurt 😊

 

[Trying4first1]

Hi ladies. Thanks for the input. It's nice just to know I'm not the only one. I'm not the sort of person that can just bury my head in the sand when something may wrong so I tend to dwell on it instead.
Had my MW appt today and they aren't too worried about the dates being too out. They've put me at the upper end of what I think though so they've put 10wks on my file. So should have the routine scan in a couple of weeks.

Trying I hope these early days go easy on you. It's so hard not to worry isn't it, especially after experiencing a MMC. The idea that it can have gone so utterly wrong and your body not know is terrifying. I try to keep in mind that MMC are rare. So hard when you read so many horror stories from so many ladies though.

Sweet kat the early days do always seem to drag don't they?

You are drfinatley not alone here at all. PAL is so so difficult.
good that your scan will be soon. Hoping the time passes quickly for you. Mine is two weeks today. I will be 6+6. So just to check if anything is there I guess and what the situation is.
Thank you. I hope I manage ok. MMC is awful. Two of mine weee MMC but luckily as I get extra scans I found out before 12 weeks. They are very rare but mine were obv caused by my medical conditions.
Symptom wise I just need to pee more than usual but unsure if it's an infection? I go a lot but pee tiny amounts sometimes. Especiallly at night. Feel quite tired today and boobs sore, would say def a lot sorer than they are before AF.
I think sickness kicked in around 6 weeks last time but never really went up a notch before next scan which told me something was wrong. So will see what haooens this time

 

[Sweetkat]

How are you doing girls? I am 6&2. Have had quite bad MS for the last few days (although have just woken up and am ok).

Not been for a scan as last time had a good scan at 8 weeks and no hb at 10&2. So I am just assuming it's another miscarriage unless I have a good 12 week scan, although I am sure I will worry after that too.

I have known for 3 weeks and one day....

 

[Mamamumum]

Not doing great here to be honest Sweetkat. My anxiety is getting much worse. The day before yesterday it was on constantly on my mind no matter what I did. I then qoke up yesterday and the few mild symptoms I had had before had to disappear overnight. So I'm now thinking even more certainly that things have stopped progressing. I just don't see a positive ending to this. I am dreading going through what I did before. I had to have 2 lots of medical management last time because my body just would not let go. I don't want to have to do that again. But if my body has failed again and doesn't realise then I don't think I could continue and wait indefinitely. But a D&C is not an option for me emotionally. I know a lot of women have them and if that's the right choice for them that's great. But I don't think I could deal with it.
I rang the hospital to ask them to book my scan for after my sons birthday as I will be 12wks the week before but I don't want bad news just before his birthday again. That will still only be 3 weeks away but it feels like an age. Part of me wants to ring the midwife first thing Monday and tell her I've been bleeding over the weekend so I need a scan NOW. I know that sounds terrible and I wouldn't ever lie like that really but it's just one of those irrational thoughts y'know? I feel like a dreadful person just thinking it. Like just thinking about lying about something like that will jinx the baby if it is actually ok. So sorry for the rambly thoughts. There is so much in my head right now. If we get to our 12wk scan and all is ok I cannot put into words the relief I will feel on every single level.

 

[karoolia]

I am starting to get anxious about this pregnancy. I am only 5 weeks so it is way too early to be worrying, but there it is. Trying to stay positive, but DH is starting to get excited and I just hate the idea of having to give him bad news if something goes wrong again.

Pregnancy after loss definitely isn't easy.

I'm sorry you are feeling so down Mamamumum. As I said, I think I get it. I can understand wanting to hold off until after the birthday party. I also get wanting a scan now. The OBs here won't scan you until 10 weeks, but my family medicine clinic will do one around 7/8. I'm thinking about asking them to do one and then switching back to the OB. They prefer you to either stick with the family doc throughout pregnancy or the OB, but you can start with one then switch. I'm thinking about it just so I can get an earlier scan.

 

[lian_83]

I just had my 7w scan, baby's doing well and hb is strong at 131bpm. But on my last mc, I had a scan at 6 weeks and then miscarried at 13 weeks. I Spotted around week 8 and then again towards the end of week 10 before hemorrhaging at end of week 12.

I'm trying to be positive, but it's hard. I know that once you see the hb, the chances of miscarriage is lower than 3%, but it could still happen, based on my experience. I hope it doesn't repeat for you and me.

 

[Sweetkat]

Just had a scan - measuring a day ahead - 7 weeks. Heartbeat of 138. Going back for a rescan in a week.

Feeling a little bit more hopeful but still expecting things to go bad.

Had a good scan at 8 weeks with last pregnancy and then no heartbeat at 10&2, so not getting my hopes up.

I am going to go for a rescan in a week.

Fingers crossed ladies

 

[Sweetkat]

I saw a heartbeat 3 times with my last pregnancy, but it turned out that the baby had Down's syndrome and I still miscarried.

The only positive thing is that last time at 6&3 and at 7 weeks it was measuring 2 days behind (maybe because of the Down's syndrome?) and now the measurements are a day ahead - measuring 7 weeks and 6&6.

I also have a subchrionic haematoma - I had that with my DD at the 12 week scan.

 

[karoolia]

Good luck Sweetkat! I'm so glad your scan went well and that things are looking good

I can understand your worry. I only had one scan at 10 weeks last time when it was discovered that baby had stopped growing at 8, but if I had had an earlier scan I bet everything would have looked fine. It must have been hard for you, I'm sorry.

 

[Sweetkat]

Thank you for your support ladies. It was a totally spur of the moment thing to go for the scan today. I just thought if everything is going wrong I would rather know.

The scan was good, and the baby measured a day ahead, but I had a perfect scan at 8 weeks last time....

I am going for a rescan in a week and counting down the days until 12 weeks.

How are you all ladies?

 

[Trying4first1]

Hey ladies.
Just checking in. 5+5 today. No MS yet so that worries me as things never seem to ramp up but I guess there is still time.
Boobs still sore and nipples sometimes hurt and throb.
I am very tired in the mornings but ok by lunch. I think the steroids are helping with that. Very hungry in the eves but again I think that's a side effect of the steroids.

I am on prednisolone and apparently it can mask some PG symptoms. It is used sometimes with cancer patients to ease sickness.
So maybe that's why I've felt nothing yet?
I don't know how to feel about this pregnancy really. I'm not getting the overwhelming feeling that this is the one. I don't feel anything if I'm honest. I guess I'm protecting myself as I know my chances are not the best x

 

[Trying4first1]

Awww Sweetkat im glad the scan went well! 😀 Xx

 

[Sweetkat]

It's sooooo hard being pregnant after losses. Especially after losses which were so near the end of the first trimester. I just need to get to week 12 and have all the chromosome abnormality testing and then I will feel better.

If the embryo is chromosomally abnormal there is nothing that can be done to change that, it's fate/ bad luck/ in my case OH's sperm issues.

All we can do is hope and be patient. Big hugs xxx

The dr is saw yesterday was soooo nice. She said I can come and see her any time and that she knows how hard it is....

Trying - I don't think MS or lack of it is a sign. I had MS with my last loss as I got to week 10.

Karoolia, after one loss your chances of a healthy pregnancy are very very high. So fingers crossed all is well this time.