Worried about stress :(

[SisterRose]

I've had an anxiety disorder since my early teens and have ups and downs. Before my BFP I was on citalopram but quit taking it when I found out because my doctor didn't recommend it in pregnancy. By the time I found out it was fine to take I felt fine anyway and didn't continue.

I've felt okay up until a week ago when all of a sudden I've felt overwhelmed by everything that's going on around me. It isn't constant but I find myself worrying about things gradually more every day. This pregnancy wasn't planned, so it was a surprise that we're really happy about, but along with it we've had to make some huge changes as obviously three kids is a big leap. So far this year I've;
my BFP, we've had to go and buy a new house, we've got to look for a new car and now we've only got 5 months to find something, I've got to learn to drive the new car so I'm taking two 1 1/2 hour lessons a week at night, the contract has gone through on the house and now we need to start thinking about packing up, building, decorating, what I need to do to let everyone know about the move(banks, bills etc) hiring skips to clear out the new house, sorting out all of the things and junk in this house.
I'm being put under pressure to go to lifestyle counselling due to being overweight and not to gain weight. I have an appointment tomorrow and I've gained 4lb in the last month instead of losing weight, I feel nervous and under pressure to perform and not to gain and just don't know what I'm going to say. In all honesty, I want to be healthy but this is my second pregnancy in 16 months and I feel like I have that much to do and think about gaining a few pounds isnt on my priority list. They also want me to go swimming 2-3 times a week, I don't drive and all the other things as well as looking after my two kids are kind of taking priority over that at the moment.

My last midwife appointment last week my first blood pressure reading was 152/100. She did retake it a few more times and it came down to 128/80 which is an improvement but I'm now really scared and worried about how all of this is affecting the baby. I've sat all morning feeling like my chest is tight, lower stomach tightness, panicking about what I'm going to do and I can't stop thinking about the things that I need to sort out! I've tried ringing my mum, who's the only person at the moment with OH at work I can talk to and calm down but she's useless and sleeps in until midday.

Doesnt really help when I read this on babycenter
Cut back on chores — and use that time to put your feet up, nap, or read a book.
Take advantage of sick days or vacation whenever possible. Spending a day — or even an afternoon — resting at home will help you get through a tough week.
Go to bed early. Your body is working overtime to nourish your growing baby and needs all the sleep it can get.

And other things like that. As I'm sure mums can relate that all of those things are basically a joke, right? I don't get vacation, sick days, time to put my feet up or early nights!

 

[EmzyJA]

Oh bless you, you are going through a lot aren't you. Being pregnant with kids already is hard work!! But honestly people for years have been going through pregnancies under a lot of stress and had healthy babies. I wouldn't worry too much about how the stress will affect your baby as that will cause you to worry and stress even more. Yes being pregnant takes a toll and you should try to relax as and when you can, it's not always that simple though. The best thing my mum ever said to me when I'm stressed or worried about something is that worrying won't help, you just have to plod along and do what you can. Things always work out. Maybe you can make a list of all the things you have to do in regards to moving and the new car etc, and then gradually work through it all. Being organised defiantly helps me. Once you start ticking things off the list you'll feel much better. Not sure how old your children are, but maybe get them to help you start packing and sorting things out? Or if they're at school use the time they're at school to gradually get bits done. I think the sooner you start to get on top of things the better you will feel. Don't be too hard on yourself and ask for help when you need it. Hope you're ok

 

[whigfield]

I think the weight loss is a lot to ask when you're pregnant - at best surely you should be maintaining? That feels like a lot of pressure to pile on a pregnant woman, particularly one who is going through as much pressure already as you are!

All I can say is that I can relate and I am constantly stressed out and always worrying about the effect it is having on my son. I then try to reassure myself that women in war zones and going through extreme high stress situations still manage to carry their babies to term with supposedly no issues.

Try to tackle one thing at a time if you can - the driving thing you'll crack with time, right? You still have a whole five months to find a car, and maybe your OH can focus a bit more on that to ease the pressure on you. Packing can be done slowly, little bits at a time, and maybe you can setup mail redirection at the post office for a month or two for when you move, and tell banks and such when you get the chance? Clearing out all the junk can be pretty therapeutic, maybe you and your OH can start dedicating a day at the weekend each week and clear a room at a time?

What would happen if you didn't go to your lifestyle counselling appointments? Swimming does sound like a good idea, could you go with your OH and the kids once a week, so it can be something more "fun" rather than just "I HAVE TO GO TO DO THIS TO EXERCISE BECAUSE THEY SAID"?

 

[SisterRose]

Thanks! To be honest, I did feel a lot better once I got this vent out and read it back over. It didn't seem like such a massive weight of things when I read it back as it did when I was sitting dwelling on it all.

My plan is definitely to write a list tonight and do one or two things a week on the weekend to make things easier my kids are 3 and 7 months so there's no way they'd be any help, My 3 year old would try though bless her.

My driving teacher thinks that I should be about ready for my test after the end of July, which is good, but I can feel myself getting worked up about it and worrying about how it's going to go.

My main concern is blood pressure, I don't want to end up having problems/delivering early because it wont stay down. I did have blood pressure problems in my first pregnancy and a little bit in my second but my midwife was suggesting maybe looking in to if thats the cause of my lower birth weight babies and now it's worried me too.

 

[calm]

Hello there. I too have anxiety disorder, though I did therapy with mindfulness and I managed to stop it being crippling to just mild. I also took citalopram many years ago, to be honest it was awful for me, meds in general just multiplied the problem and made it worse, I'd never go back. But I do remember how hard it was coming off the pills, especially some months later, being pregnant must add to it all and make it very difficult for you. I've not been keeping up with my mindfulness lately and I've been quite stressed about silly things, and big things too! (we went through the stress of buying a house in strange circumstances for the sellers, and now we have to completely redo it, including plumbing, windows, doors, tiles, bathrooms, kitchen...) and we want to do it before the babies coming. I made myself do a bit of meditation yesterday to help myself get out of my mind! That's the sort of thing I would recommend, there is no quick fix, but with some time and work you can significally reduce your stress levels. Its normal to worry about our babies but they are doing just fine, you just look after you

 

[Yo_Yo]

Don't worry, it'll all come together in the end.
I've had terrible stress during this pregnancy (7 week bleed, also selling our house, hubby's new job, and baby is doing well.

Also, with dd2 I passed my driving test first time at 24 weeks pregnant-so you can do it!