worried i will get one of these!!!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by magicbubble, Jun 5, 2011.

  1. magicbubble

    magicbubble Well-Known Member

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    watching supernanny and wants to know how or why or where children in the first place learn to follow their parents around the room in a temper, pretending/trying to kick them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    oh second episode has just started - seriously - how do these children learn such disrespectuful behaviour? spitting, headbutting, swearing at their parents etc.
     
  2. daddiesgift

    daddiesgift Mom of Two

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    I blame the parents mostly ;) . Children arent born brats. They learn it. If you watch the show or parents of bratty kids you see that alot of the time the parents arent doing what they are suppose to or let things go for too long. I dont want my children to fear me but they will respect me. If I wouldve EVER yelled at my mother or hit her I wouldve been in some serious trouble! My mother had a look she would give when we were getting out of line which we knew right then STOP DOING THIS! And most the times kids arent being bad to be spiteful (unless they are teenagers hehe) they are doing it because of something being wrong wether they are doing it for attention ect.
     
  3. lynnikins

    lynnikins Well-Known Member

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    alot of it is learnt behaviour but children naturally have the ability to get frustrated with us the same way we do with them so alot of "aggresive" behaviour is just children working out their frustrations in the only way they know how and if they have seen someone else act that way even once it can caus them to copy the behaviour.

    as parents we have to set good examples for our kids and that includes teaching them how to resolve differences of opinion in a respectful calm manner caus if we dont they wont know any different to what the world shows them.
     
  4. jacks mummy

    jacks mummy Well-Known Member

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    I have to agree with Lynnikins kids pick up this behaviour from other people, with my son he has got a temper but her WOULD NEVER spit, swear, hit or kick!! He wouldn't dare lol but if they see you being angry for whatever reason they will pick up on the behaviour and copy it! My nephew is being brought up in a house with lots of arguing and his dad is not very nice to my sister in law (she won't leave him!!) and my nephew at the age of 19months kicks and punches his mum screams and headbuts things if he's annoyed ect and I think it's disgusting behaviour! I tell her he will only get worse if she dosnt stop it now but she just wants an easy life so let's him get away with it! My son has become increasingly worse since starting nursery I will admit he must pick up this from the other kids and try's his luck sometimes but I quickly put a stop to that with the naughty step ect.. My only advise is to be strong even if it seems so much easier to let it go! Xxx
     
  5. Maman

    Maman Guest

    a lot of my sons bad behaviour is learnt from nursery. there was a clear change in his personality when he started going there.

    thats more important is how you deal with it as a parent. i dont do chances and i have a zero toleration approach, if hes frustrated he must talk to me and tell me the issue, i can then explain calmly to him anything that he need to know. tantruming and playing up gets him nowhere. We are going through a biting stage hes bitten me a few times, (started after there was a biter at nursery, which i went and got sorted) he has gotten in to real trouble a few times and has started to work it out now.
     
  6. TwilightAgain

    TwilightAgain LTW for our LO <3

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    I imagine its learnt behaviour. Also I think those kids don't listen to their parents because at some point they must have been allowed to have their own way and got used to it, so don't like being told no.
     
  7. DMG83

    DMG83 Mum to 1 beautiful girl

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    my sisters' youngest can be a right brat, whereas her other two are wonderfully behaved.. it started around nursery age too but she never addressed it.. lets just say i only need give him "the look" and he sits on the sofa in silence and has done ever since he was a little one.. my brother has the same "look" and he behaves like a saint for him too.. my sister just starts crying, so he does it even more :dohh: he's now 8 but my mum has had living with her for 3 months now (her eldest son has lived with my mum for 3 years and is a gem!) and his behaviour is just totally unrecognisable from when he was living with my sister...

    Respect your elders was drummed into me from the start :shrug: that's how i'll be raising my child too
     
  8. jenny82

    jenny82 Well-Known Member

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    That show scares me!! My wee dude can have a bit of a temper but most of it at the minute is frustration. I try never to be angry around him (difficult because I share the same frustrated impatient tendencies :dohh:) and we never smack or condone any violence. LO went to creche but I didn't notice him behaving badly because of the kids there, although at times he hates sharing, but i think thats his age just :/

    Actually a few weeks ago it happened to be on tv and I switched it off as I didn't want LO to pick up any bad habits!
     
  9. pinkleapord

    pinkleapord Well-Known Member

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    LOL daddiesgift my mum had a look too it was the if you dont stop being a brat im gonna kill you look LOLOLOL i soon learned.... i was scared of the look. lol
     
  10. Cherrybinky

    Cherrybinky Guest

    I agree with the comments above. My step children are 6 and 4 and we have a no tolerance attitude to unacceptable behaviour. However, they have impeccable manners and know boundaries. They would never kick, spit, swear or behave like some of those children do on Supernanny. Those to be are parents who have lost control and dont know how to gain it back and I can sometimes see how thats is easily done.
    We have the naughty step, we use counting to 5 for paddys which do happen occasionally and we have a star chart which we use for them to work towards treats etc. It works for us and the kids are happy.
     
  11. Gnomer

    Gnomer Expecting number 2!

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    I think it all depends on the child, and its environment.

    I was a model child. Well behaved, polite and always did as i was told. However my brother was a pain right from birth! As a baby he would cry non stop through the night, then eventually grew to be a terrible, terrible toddler. He would lash out, nip and kick. (Probably a bad example though, he was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 10. And they say his troubling behaviour was down to that)
    My little sister picked up tons of bad habits from nursery. And always had a bit of a temper on her. BUT, my mum and dad could stop her tantrums with 'that' look!

    My OH was a very demanding child. He always needed amusement. His parents spent most of his youth chasing around after him! But, he was taught to respect his elders, and although a handful, he wasn't aggressive.

    Needless to say, I'm hoping our little seed has my temperament! And if not, I'll be sure to straighten it out! :haha:
     
  12. sun

    sun Mum of 3

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    Some of it is learned behavior (my son's protests when he hears the word no are much more dramatic since he started daycare). But when they are very young and just learning how to deal with their emotions, learning boundaries, and still can't communicate as well as they would like then they can get VERY frustrated. And the way they show it and how to deal with this is different with all children. Some are laid back naturally, and others have much more intense personalities - you just have to find what works out best for your child!
     
  13. Clover Jane

    Clover Jane Guest

    As an early childhood educator, I've become wary of blaming everything on a child's upbringing.
    Over the years, I've worked with numerous children with ADD, ADHD, behavior disorders on the autism spectrum, sensory integration issues, etc.
    These things are not uncommon today, if they ever were. I have children with diagnosed behavioral special needs in my class every single year; often more than one. I'd say at least one out of ten children these days has some sort of behavioral issue.
    Part of it is that high-functioning autism spectrum disorders actually have become more common. No one knows why. Some people suspect immunizations cause autism (I don't buy that theory). I think it's a combination of things: more parents having children at an older age. More preemies surviving through medical technology. Maybe doctors are also just getting better at diagnosing high-functioning autism, whereas in the past a child with this type of disorder would simply have been labeled "bad", "disobedient", "antisocial", "weird".

    Of course, there are things parents can do to mitigate some of the behavior that goes along with these problems, things a parent can do to improve the child's chances of succeeding in school and in life. Most of these children will grow up to lead "normal" lives, with jobs and families of their own.

    But to blame the parent entirely for any of the manifestations of these disorders is not fair to the parent.
    These parents have a tough enough row to hoe, without that. I'm sure people look at their children acting out in public and make comments and judgments about how the parents just aren't doing their job, when in fact the parents are working ten times harder than parents of children without behavioral issues.

    Of course, on the other hand, there are disobedient, disruptive children who have no diagnosable disorder. Their behavior may well be the result of a lack of discipline on the part of the parents. But it's hard to tell; behavior disorders often appear, to outsiders, like simple "bad behavior".
    To complicate matters, children with behavior disorders often are not diagnosed or treated until they start elementary school at age 5 or 6, or even older. Although children who are diagnosed earlier tend to do better.

    Anyway, that's my 2 cents: not always the parents' fault, and almost impossible to tell (without knowing the child and the family) whether it is or isn't.
     
  14. heather91

    heather91 Preggers with 2nd

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    my daughter follows me round kicking me if she's having a tantrum. Its frustration and absolutely no reflection on parenting at all. I've never known a 2 year old that hasn't don't that. Spitting/swearing is obviously picked up from parents/others tho
     

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