Worried I won't be able to cope with DH going away

[Peach Blossom]

My DH has to go away on business tomorrow. MMC was diagnosed on Friday and I had erpc that night. I'm a mess. I can't stop crying and the smallest of things set me off. I wake up and for a small moment I forget what has happened, but then remember again. I'm so so very sad and can't believe what's happened. I know that my DH is worried about leaving me, but he needs the work so has to go. I don't want to tell him that I'm scared about him going away because I know he'd cancel. The idea of him leaving the house to go to an hours meeting today is filling me with dread let alone 3 days away though. I'm worried I won't be able to cope. I have my brother coming to stay the night tomorrow, and could go and stay at my Dad's on Weds, but I don't want to be away from home. I had thought I might go back to work as a distraction, but I don't think I'm ready to go back to work. I just don't know what to do. Part of me wishes I could go with him just so that I can be near him. He has been so strong for me and I wouldn't have got through the last couple of days without him. I know things will get easier in time, but I'm worried that him going away will set me back.

 

[Lazy Leo]

Oh sweetheart, that's awful. It's so soon for him to have to go away. I don't know what the answer is for you. I remember just crying and crying for days, wondering how it was possible to cry so many tears. However, it does get easier in time. Can you go with hubby and go for a walk/coffee or something when he is in his meeting? Getting out might be good for you, you do need some time to just stay under the duvet and wish the world would stop spinning but you need to balance that with getting out and getting air and staying healthy. I wish I knew the answers hun but I don't and I didn't want to read and run His going away might just keep you strong you know. Women are a strong bunch, we get through this stuff, I don't know how but we do, somehow.

 

[Peach Blossom]

Oh sweetheart, that's awful. It's so soon for him to have to go away. I don't know what the answer is for you. I remember just crying and crying for days, wondering how it was possible to cry so many tears. However, it does get easier in time. Can you go with hubby and go for a walk/coffee or something when he is in his meeting? Getting out might be good for you, you do need some time to just stay under the duvet and wish the world would stop spinning but you need to balance that with getting out and getting air and staying healthy. I wish I knew the answers hun but I don't and I didn't want to read and run His going away might just keep you strong you know. Women are a strong bunch, we get through this stuff, I don't know how but we do, somehow.

Unfortunately he's going to Paris for 3 days filming... he's a director. We looked in to me going, but it would cost £400.. . I think you're right and him being away may keep me strong, but I struggled to say goodbye to him for an hour this morning! We'll just have to see I guess. Thank you for your advice.

 

[Shelby2007]

After my mmc I would follow my hubby around.. and always wanted to be around him (like comforting to me or something).. and he left for a week on business. My mom came over while he was gone.. totally not the same.. but it was comforting. Do you have any body that could come stay with you?

 

[Peach Blossom]

After my mmc I would follow my hubby around.. and always wanted to be around him (like comforting to me or something).. and he left for a week on business. My mom came over while he was gone.. totally not the same.. but it was comforting. Do you have any body that could come stay with you?

I know what you mean no one else will really do. My DH has been so wonderful since it happened and I know he's really worried about leaving me. My brother is coming to stay tomorrow and I think I'll go and stay with my Dad on Weds. Not ideal as I feel some what more cocooned at home, but I'm going to have to leave the flat on my own at some point I guess. What I really want is to go in to hibernation until everything gets easier... x

 

[Lazy Leo]

I don't know what to say to you hunny. My husband was around at least for two weeks or so after my m/c so I had that support. Although he did go out during the day and stuff to see his parents and do things I couldn't face. I think you are doing the right thing going to your dads because locking yourself in the house will only make it more difficult to leave when the time does come. We had to go out every day to the maternity hospital to get my bloods taken at the EPAU because it was a suspected ectopic.

I was photographing my friend's christening just over a week after I started to bleed and lose the baby and I managed it. I threw her MIL the dirtiest of dirty looks when she asked me 'do you not fancy a baby Nicola'. Stupid cow is old enough to know better than to ask that of a woman married for 6 years. It's funny though because my husband had the camera at just that moment in time and captured that look for all eternity!

it was one of the toughest things I've had to do but it made me stronger. And seeing my friend deliver a very ill baby who was in hospital for the first 18 weeks of her life, after a text book pregnancy made me realise my baby wasn't well enough for this world. It gave me my closure and helped me move on.

I hope you find whatever it is you need to help you move on too. It may not be this week or next week but it will come I promise you. It does get easier in time.

PM me any time xxx

 

[Peach Blossom]

Well he's gone... 7 hours til my brother comes over. Just about coping, but have been in tears since he left. Hoping these 3 days go quickly. DH makes me stronger just by being here. Just want to sleep the time away... It doesn't hurt when I'm asleep...

 

[toby2]

peach sorry to hear your having a tough time, sleep if you can, anything to get you through-could you write a list to work through like having a shower,changing your sheets anything you can work through without thinking?sometimes that helps me-or chat on here whatever helps,your brother will be there soon and its not the same but much better than being alone
xx