i flout the rules too, i've had things in small doses. The odd bit of stinky cheese here and there etc. The only thing I haven't had so far that's on the naughty list is pate.
The reason we're told to avoid pate is two-fold - for the listeria risk if it is made/stored incorrectly, and because it is a 'concentrated' source of vitamin A.
Listeria risk is negligible as with most foods as long as you take care where you buy it and how you store it - I'm pretty sure pre-packaged and sterile pate from a supermarket never gave anyone food poisoning. Home-made pate from the dodgy deli on the corner however..
The vitamin A thing is based on some studies which showed an increased risk of birth defects with high exposure to vit A - but the amounts of vit A involved were HUGE and you'd need to eat 5-6 whole packets of pate, every day for a prolonged period, to get anywhere near the amounts they were studying.
And if we're not supposed to eat cold meat I'm screwed - we've just been to Spain for 10 days and I ate the cold meat from the buffet every morning for breakfast, had cured ham on at least two pizzas (theoretically cooked by being on the pizza but in reality barely luke-warm so probably worse than if it was cold!) ate rare steak, runny eggs, salmon that was a little rarer than I would have liked (but delicious), drank WINE - you pick a food off that 'banned' list, and I have probably had it both last pregnancy and this (apart from stinky cheese but I don't eat that anyway and if I did, wouldn't avoid it!)
I've never had food poisoning in my life, I don't intend to start now - and even if I did get it, the majority of types are only unpleasant for me and not a threat to the baby in any way.
Most of the things that we read about being 'banned' on here are the result of conflicting advice from different care providers in different countries with a hefty dose of (usually Google-induced) paranoia thrown in for good measure and then twisted and exaggerated by the Chinese Whispers effect. If you weren't specifically told to avoid it by your own doctor/midwife, then don't worry about it. If you were, use your common sense, do a little research and in the majority of cases, still don't worry about it anyway!