MemmaJ
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I have twin boys who are 11 and a half. Despite what they'd like to think, they are completely different and as they are getting ready to start secondary school in September, I'm a bit concerned about one of them.
They are both very polite, they're not 'naughty' and are both at the expected academic level for their age. But one of them has some behavioural/physical tendencies that I think could really go against him in high school.
He's quite 'young' for his age, and it's just lots of little things - like when he eats, he will still get it all round his face and down his clothes like a small child. He doesn't even realise he's doing it or that it's there, and will walk around for the rest of the day with food all round his face unless someone tells him to clean it off. He often comes home from school with yogurt still all over his face and jumper, from lunch time.
He also can't dress himself properly. He can't tie his shoelaces properly, and will often put his clothes on back to front or inside l-out, shoes on the wrong feet, or his clothes will be all twisted where he's pulled them on - and he'll just leave it until someone tells him, instead of straightening them out. Completely oblivious.
I would expect all of this from a younger child but not from a nearly-12 year old..! He also talks in a 'baby voice' quite a lot.
His body language and mannerisms are very awkward and childish, and he seems unable to take in basic instructions (every single day we have to remind him of simple things, like putting his shoes away when he comes in, and pushing his chair in after he's eaten. Harmless things, but things that shouldn't have to be told every day, as if they've never been said before).
He's also quite a 'physical' child and doesn't seem to have any awareness for adults personal space. We often spend our weekends with another couple and their children, and I sometimes dread it because I know that he will follow our friends (particularly the woman) around like a shadow. Every time she gets up to do anything, he'll follow her. When we are all sitting down and talking socially, instead of being off playing with all the other kids he will come and sit with us - usually sitting squeezed right up next to one of our friends (unnecessarily) - and will constantly interrupt our conversations. He clings onto adults in all other situations (e.g at school - playtime etc). They both went to football training for a short time (have since given it up) and every week, instead of joining in with the training, he would be stood at the side talking to the coach - which became an irittent to the coach, because he couldn't do his job properly and also felt a bit like we were wasting his time I think.
His general behaviour/mannerisms etc there even sparked one of the other coaches to pull my partner to one side and quietly ask if there's anything 'wrong' with him that they should know about (ie: developmental problems).
He just seems to really struggle to interact/occupy himself in the company of other children and will cling onto/attach himself to adults - sometimes inappropriately and a bit intrusively, making them feel uncomfortable as he will often lay himself on people/hug into people etc, encroaching on their personal space.
That, along with things like not being able to dress himself properly and getting food round his face all the time etc - I'm getting concerned that he's really going to get picked on in secondary school..! They're going to a brand new school where they don't know anyone, as we've just moved - and secondary school kids can be mean!
His twin brother is not like this at all, and I don't tend to compare them but it's hard not to in situations like this - when they're the exact same age and have been parented in the exact same way.
They were born at 27 weeks, not sure if that's relevant..:
It's not like we haven't tried to correct these things - we have tried for the last couple of years but everything seems to go in one ear and out the other, nothing changes. Plus when we talk to him about it, whatever approach we take (and we've tried many!), he looks at us and acts like he's being told off (when he's not) and still nothing changes.
They are both very polite, they're not 'naughty' and are both at the expected academic level for their age. But one of them has some behavioural/physical tendencies that I think could really go against him in high school.
He's quite 'young' for his age, and it's just lots of little things - like when he eats, he will still get it all round his face and down his clothes like a small child. He doesn't even realise he's doing it or that it's there, and will walk around for the rest of the day with food all round his face unless someone tells him to clean it off. He often comes home from school with yogurt still all over his face and jumper, from lunch time.
He also can't dress himself properly. He can't tie his shoelaces properly, and will often put his clothes on back to front or inside l-out, shoes on the wrong feet, or his clothes will be all twisted where he's pulled them on - and he'll just leave it until someone tells him, instead of straightening them out. Completely oblivious.
I would expect all of this from a younger child but not from a nearly-12 year old..! He also talks in a 'baby voice' quite a lot.
His body language and mannerisms are very awkward and childish, and he seems unable to take in basic instructions (every single day we have to remind him of simple things, like putting his shoes away when he comes in, and pushing his chair in after he's eaten. Harmless things, but things that shouldn't have to be told every day, as if they've never been said before).
He's also quite a 'physical' child and doesn't seem to have any awareness for adults personal space. We often spend our weekends with another couple and their children, and I sometimes dread it because I know that he will follow our friends (particularly the woman) around like a shadow. Every time she gets up to do anything, he'll follow her. When we are all sitting down and talking socially, instead of being off playing with all the other kids he will come and sit with us - usually sitting squeezed right up next to one of our friends (unnecessarily) - and will constantly interrupt our conversations. He clings onto adults in all other situations (e.g at school - playtime etc). They both went to football training for a short time (have since given it up) and every week, instead of joining in with the training, he would be stood at the side talking to the coach - which became an irittent to the coach, because he couldn't do his job properly and also felt a bit like we were wasting his time I think.
His general behaviour/mannerisms etc there even sparked one of the other coaches to pull my partner to one side and quietly ask if there's anything 'wrong' with him that they should know about (ie: developmental problems).
He just seems to really struggle to interact/occupy himself in the company of other children and will cling onto/attach himself to adults - sometimes inappropriately and a bit intrusively, making them feel uncomfortable as he will often lay himself on people/hug into people etc, encroaching on their personal space.
That, along with things like not being able to dress himself properly and getting food round his face all the time etc - I'm getting concerned that he's really going to get picked on in secondary school..! They're going to a brand new school where they don't know anyone, as we've just moved - and secondary school kids can be mean!
His twin brother is not like this at all, and I don't tend to compare them but it's hard not to in situations like this - when they're the exact same age and have been parented in the exact same way.
They were born at 27 weeks, not sure if that's relevant..:
It's not like we haven't tried to correct these things - we have tried for the last couple of years but everything seems to go in one ear and out the other, nothing changes. Plus when we talk to him about it, whatever approach we take (and we've tried many!), he looks at us and acts like he's being told off (when he's not) and still nothing changes.
