Worries,fear,excitement and scared about childbirth. Advice

[Chloe2B21]

Hello eveyone,

Me and my partner feel ready to have a family of our own, my partner already has a baby girl and sometimes i feel he is much more ready then what i am lol. Not because im not ready to have a baby but just because it is all very much unknown to me, i have never been pregnant and watched all my friends have babies while childbirth has scared/worried me right from a young age and still does. I used to look at pregnant woman in the street and just think of all the pain they will have to go though to have that baby, i did not think of the baby or anything else...only of the pain (that is wired as iv never fault it) and thought i was glad that i wasn't them, however deep down i regretted that as iv always wanted a child of our own. Im scared of all the birth stories you here about the pain and things going wrong...people feeling like they was going to die or even thinking they was. I have tried to prepare myself for years,reading up,watching one born every min and spent alot of my time just googloeing and looking into things. It seems to always been the thing at the back of my mind and has even been to a point where i scare myself so much that i wonder if i ever will have a baby or let myself get pregnant because of this.

Dispite all of this, I long for a baby of our own, to hold him/her in your arms, to share that with your parter must be just so wonderful and amazing and i know it would make my life just wonderful. I know i would be a fantastic mum and would give everything i can to that child throughout his or her life, i don't think im scared of being pregnant or anything..its just the childbirth that really gets to me. I keep telling myself that everyone does it and so can i but it don't seem to help, my partner is so very supportive as he has been though this once before as he has his daughter so i know im in safe hands with him and i don't want this to stop us from having our own child.

Has anyone else fault this way? Is they anything to help that can make you relax and just be happy about being pregnant without the worries? We are hoping to conceive and i know when that day comes it will be the happiest day of my life but feel at the back of my head also the scariest. I am excited just wish i wouldn't worry so much.

Thanks

 

[Eleanor ace]

Aw hun . I haven't been through this but I know a lot of women worry about the pain of giving birth. From my own experience, labour and birth were painful but not exceptionally so, it was an amazing and wonderful experience.
Have you looked into hypnotherapy? Both to prepare you for labour and calm you fears? A lot of people swear by it and say they felt no pain in labour using these methods .
Also pain relief- if you want to use it look into the options, read up on what level of pain relief they offer and see if that helps? I have a friend who got an epidural at 3cm, that was her plan all along as she didn't want to feel contractions when they got strong. She had a good labour and couldn't feel anything except for pressure when she pushed.
I'd also recommend having a look at the birth stories section on here and looking for ones with positive in the title. Obviously it's good to be prepared for labour not going to plan but it's great to read about all the people who have a wonderful experience. Also labour videos on Youtube- there are lots of home and water birth videos which are beautiful and peaceful and it might reassure you to see women having that sort of positive experience and know that you can too
x

 

[solitaire89]

Hi there I thought I'd replied to your post, but obviously not. I was like you - before even ttc I sat in my doctors surgery bawling my eyes out as I was so afraid of labour and birth. Then I found Natal Hypnotherapy and I went on to have a completely pain free, drug free, fear free labour and home birth. My birth story is in my signature if you want a LONG read Not all labours are horrendous, and there are plenty of things that you can do to help you to feel more in control of the whole experience - hypnotherapy, learning breathing techniques, learning about positioning, having your birth partner prepare by learning massage, etc, etc. Please try not to worry though, there are loads of people here who will support you
HTH

 

[Chloe2B21]

Hi there I thought I'd replied to your post, but obviously not. I was like you - before even ttc I sat in my doctors surgery bawling my eyes out as I was so afraid of labour and birth. Then I found Natal Hypnotherapy and I went on to have a completely pain free, drug free, fear free labour and home birth. My birth story is in my signature if you want a LONG read Not all labours are horrendous, and there are plenty of things that you can do to help you to feel more in control of the whole experience - hypnotherapy, learning breathing techniques, learning about positioning, having your birth partner prepare by learning massage, etc, etc. Please try not to worry though, there are loads of people here who will support you
HTH

Awww thanks you so much, i try my best and i know everyone does it and comes out the other end just fine with a baby in their arms =), its the thought of the unknown and im never going to know untill its my tern lol. I cant wait to hold that baby tho and sure its all worth it. Will try not to worry as hard as that may feel. I look into these other things you have said about and the post before. Thanks