would like a home birth next time

[x_WelshGirl_x]

Hi ladies. My little man has just turned one and we're going to try for baby number 2 around April time. My labour and birth with Alex was so straight forward (midwife said the whole pregnancy and birth was text book) I took one pain killer at 6am which would of worn off (not like it did anything even though pain wasnt too bad) before I gave birth at 1.10pm.
I've told OH that if the next pregnancy is just as good and no complications I'd like a homebirth. He says he doesn't want me too (probably due to the fact his brothers gf wanted a homebirth but was rushed to hospital for an emergency c-section) he says its safer to be at the hospital incase something goes wrong.
So ladies, those that have had homebirths could you please tell me the pro's of a homebirth? I know we have plenty of time to discuss this but I would like him to see it from my point too.

 

[solitaire89]

What the NHS don't tell you until you've decided to have a home birth, is that the risks of certain things occuring are reduced in a home birth... For example, there is a reduced risk of episiotomy, a reduced risk of tearing, a reduced risk of PPH, etc, etc.

Here's a link to another thread which has more info for you on statistics for home birth in my area.

Take it slow though - and don't push him. If you can get him to talk to other fathers whose partners have had a home birth that may be helpful too.

Good luck!

 

[x_WelshGirl_x]

Thank you. We obviously have Lots of time to discuss it properly anyway. I like the idea of giving birth at home in my own surroundings (I was at home for most of my labour last time anyway), my friend gave birth at home and she said the whole thing was relaxed.
I will always take OH'S feelings on this into account. I think he doesn't like the idea of it because of what happened to his brothers girlfriend. But I will be doing lots of research and hopefully he'll come round to my way of thinking.

 

[madasa]

Ultimately it is your decision and his job is to support you in that. You wouldn't believe how many people have said to me "I wish I'd had a home birth but OH didn't want me to.... Now I wish I hadnt listened."

Some of the pros for home birth:
-you tend to be more relaxed, so you feel less pain (a lot of pain is caused or made worse by tension )
- your labour is more likely to progress smoothly and unhindered in a cozy and familiar environment.
- no mad dash to hospital! no having to deal with ctx in the car while your main support person tries to concentrate on the road rather than you! labour is not slowed or stopped by the move to hosp.
-if you want a water birth, there's nothing stopping you (whereas in hospital it may be a lottery as to whether a pool is available for you)
- your family stays together afterwards, the midwives leave, rather than the father of the baby.
- you can have whoever you want there (I'd like my kids around next time )

I had a homebirth and I loved it! Ultimately you need to be where you feel most comfortable. Good luck

 

[x_WelshGirl_x]

Ultimately it is your decision and his job is to support you in that. You wouldn't believe how many people have said to me "I wish I'd had a home birth but OH didn't want me to.... Now I wish I hadnt listened."

Some of the pros for home birth:
-you tend to be more relaxed, so you feel less pain (a lot of pain is caused or made worse by tension )
- your labour is more likely to progress smoothly and unhindered in a cozy and familiar environment.
- no mad dash to hospital! no having to deal with ctx in the car while your main support person tries to concentrate on the road rather than you! labour is not slowed or stopped by the move to hosp.
-if you want a water birth, there's nothing stopping you (whereas in hospital it may be a lottery as to whether a pool is available for you)
- your family stays together afterwards, the midwives leave, rather than the father of the baby.
- you can have whoever you want there (I'd like my kids around next time )

I had a homebirth and I loved it! Ultimately you need to be where you feel most comfortable. Good luck

Thank you, I'll show him these points when I next bring it up with him. The big thing for me is that if I gave birth after 5pm I'd have to stay in hospital (were home 4hours after giving birth to Alex and was readmitted the day after as the little monkey would not breast feed and I sobbed my heart out when visiting was over) and OH would have to go home plus I'd have to wait ages to see my LO. But like you said we get to stay together at home and my mum could bring LO early next morning.

 

[aliss]

My home birth ended in a hospital transfer. It's important to keep in mind that the midwives are skilled in seeing when a birth needs to be transferred - mine was for prolonged pushing (more than 2 hours) and the baby was born safely at the hospital (without any doctor care, the midwives came with me) only a short ambulance ride later. I have ZERO regret, I would make the choice to birth at home again any day. The labour itself was far easier and more pleasant (I had one bad hospital birth prior).

Your OH's brother's GF was a rare minority, it is very rare for an EMCS to result from a home birth - do you know why? Can you ask her? The EMCS rate for our midwives here is less than 1% for 2nd time mothers. You are not a 1st time mother, your risks are quite different compared to hers.

My OH was against it at first too, until he realized the statistics and how a home birth was actually a better, safer option.

 

[x_WelshGirl_x]

Thank you. I can't ask her unfortunately as they have split up and to be honest can't stand the girl (haven't spoken to her since I was pregnant with Alex.) and him, well he's a bull shitter so can't trust what he says either. I think I'm just going to show him this and then have a proper discussion when we actually start trying for baby number 2. I'd just like to be clued up first you know.
I always joke to him anyway if baby number 2 decides to come quicker than Alex I might have no choice than to give birth at home haha.

 

[aliss]

My 1st boy's name is Alexandre Joseph too! How funny. Good choice

Feel free to show your OH this thread. Also, the positive home birth thread. I showed my OH and he was happy to read actual accounts and photos. The Business of Being Born was a good video too.

My 2nd was born at the hospital but choosing to start as a home birth was still the right decision!

 

[Feronia]

My homebirth was amazing and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Pros for me:
-I was so much more comfortable being at home and labouring where I wanted. I think it really affected how I experienced the pain; it wasn't as intense.
-No pressure for an epidural and other interventions I wanted to avoid. No temptation to ask for one either!
-Hot shower or birth pool any time I wanted!
-No exposure to hospital infections
-I was able to eat and drink whatever I wanted, which leads me to...
-Sitting on the kitchen floor naked cramming down pretzels and peanut butter right after birth
-Being able to go right to sleep in our own bed with DH and LO

Best of luck making your decision! It took me a while to choose between a hospital and home as well, but I'm so glad I eventually chose to do it at home.

 

[pimento1979]

https://homebirthersandhopefuls.com/why-birth-at-home/

Research also shows that even if you do need to transfer in for any reason after planning a homebirth, you are more likely to achieve a normal birth regardless of location