Would you leave your 9 year old alone in the house for 20 mins???

[ouchwithNo.2]

hmmm... not got there yet but I think at 9yrs my son would be quite safe on his own for 20minutes. He will be 7 in October.
he is very mature and sensible and we all laugh he will be 'elf and safety when he grows up because he is always going on about hidden dangers and stuff like that.
I am sure if he was given his Nintendo DS for 20 minutes he wouldn't move/blink even notice!
We live in a first floor flat and the bin sheds are around the back of the building so I have quite a walk to do and I frequently leave him in the house whilst I do that, LO asleep in her cot and I take the monitor.
He knows if he needs me quick to go into LO's room and speak down the monitor.

 

[Narla83]

Hey ya ive got a little girl whos gonna be 10 2moro and she hates to be left on her own even the idea of it makes her get really upset. Id say that if their ok with it and they have a phone to get you if they need to then you know best!!!!!

 

[GersPrincess]

Personally, I wouldnt. It's not my child I don't trust, it's everyone else! lol.
Seriously though. My ex husband left our son alone last year whilst he took our daughter and his other 2 kids to pick his wife up from work. Joe is very sensible and very mature, and once he's on the xbox is capable of not moving for anything for a good hour or so if he can get away with it.. my problem with him being left was, nobody knew he was there, and if God forbid my ex had had some kind of accident/crash or something, nobody would have known where Joe was. If it had been a bad crash, potentially it could have taken the police a while to establish there should have been another child there, where he was and who to contact, and in that time Joe could have been very worried/scared.

I dont know though, I am terrible for wondering all the what ifs.. you know, what if the house had blown up, what if the washing machine had set alight and he couldnt reach the lock on the front door to open it, what if a train had derailed, gone through my ex's back garden and hit the house, what if my ex's puppy had attacked him, what if for some reason Joe decided he was hungry, try to make himself something and seriously hurt himself..

but saying all that, I've no problem with him or his sister walking to and from the bus stop every morning and afternoon, or going up to the park for football or walking the dog. I guess I'm just weird!

 

[amylw1]

i have left my older 2 whilst i have gone next door etc but not for long periods of time. but i think 10/11 is a suitable age for 20-3omins but 12+ for longer.

 

[midori1999]

It depends on the maturity of the child in question, one 9 year old will be at a very different level of maturity to another. That is why there is no legal age.

I think if you are going to leave a child of any age alone you need to make sure they are happy to be left and will feel safe and secure while you are gone and know what to do if there is an emergency and what to do about answering the phone/door whilst you are gone and what they are allowed and not allowed to do like make themselves a snack or use the toaster/microwave etc. They also need to know how to contact you and who to contact in an emergency or if they can't get hold of you or if you don't come back when you were expected.

I have been happy to leave my now 14 year old alone for shortish periods of time (around 10-30 mins) since he was around 9 and probably to pop out to the shop (5 mins) for a year before that. He is and always has been very sensible and mature though. I have only just started leaving my now (just) 10 year old for very short periods so if I pop to the shop or the other day I ran his younger brother to the bus stop whilst he stayed in bed as he had a bad headache and had to stay off school. I wouldn't leave him for longer than that.

I think children are pretty mollycoddled these days and that it does them a lot of good to get used to being left alone and gain some independance. The idea of never leaving a 16 year old alone seems ridiculous to me as as has been said, 16 year olds can join the army. They can also get married with parental consent and are legally able to have sex. In some cultures children of four years old are working or looking after younger siblings/cooking meals whilst parents work. Obviously this is quite sad and not something to aspire to, but it does show how capable young children can be if they need to be.

 

[billy2mm]

if he is mature enough and its only for a short short period then yes i think thats ok. totally depends on the child though.

 

[kfenton10]

I think it really depends on the child. And I also think the laws vary by state. In MA there is no "legal age" according to the CFS website. But our local YMCA offers babysitting classes at 12. I personally think 12 is a bit young to babysit, but I let my 11 y.o. stay home for short periods. She knows both the neighbors, my mom is less than a mile down the street, and my daughter has shown she can be responsible. My 14 year old step-daughter on the other hand, has shown she can't be trusted and is not left alone even for a quick trip to the store.

 

[suzib76]

i dont think it depends on the maturity of the child at all tbh

there isnt a 9/10/11 yo out there who is mature enough to deal with the pshycological effects of being alone in a crisis situation

 

[LaaLaa]

i dont think it depends on the maturity of the child at all tbh

there isnt a 9/10/11 yo out there who is mature enough to deal with the pshycological effects of being alone in a crisis situation

I guess the question is how likely is it that a crisis situation will occur in a twenty minute time frame at the time said child is left home alone.

 

[haggle-b]

Its a hard one considering one 9 year old can be so different from another. I worked in a school until recently and the range of maturity in kids the same age amazed me.

From personal experience I didnt leave my eldest at home alone until she was at high school so 11ish and then for only short periods. My 9 year old wants to stay at home if I have to do a quick errand but I dont think shes ready yet, and I dont think I would want to leave them together, they can have such arguments at times!!

Only you can decide how responsible your son is, there is no right or wrong answer on this one.

 

[mommy43]

did i read someone wouldn't leave a 16 year old. Good grief they could be in the army at that age

Yup, you read right. I would if absolutely necessary (like emergency with another kid, or spouse) but wouldn't leave him just because it's convenient for the kid or me. You see people all the time leaving their teenagers home alone and then they wonder why their teens are getting pregnant, drinking, smoking, doing drugs, etc.

After all, a 16 year old is still legally a child.

surely thats ott!! a 16 yr old dosent have to be home alone to do any of those things you cant be with them 24/7 they stop at friends, n go out
i also think if kids are not given a bit of resposibility every now n then they dont know how to handle it when they get that bit older

 

[miss.kayleigh]

i was 8 when i began walking home from school alone and letting myself in and waiting for my mum to get in. i was very responsible it depends on the child i think xxxx

 

[v2007]

It depends on the child tbh.

If you feel safe then its ok.

V xxx

 

[tallybee]

did i read someone wouldn't leave a 16 year old. Good grief they could be in the army at that age

Yup, you read right. I would if absolutely necessary (like emergency with another kid, or spouse) but wouldn't leave him just because it's convenient for the kid or me. You see people all the time leaving their teenagers home alone and then they wonder why their teens are getting pregnant, drinking, smoking, doing drugs, etc.

After all, a 16 year old is still legally a child.

surely thats ott!! a 16 yr old dosent have to be home alone to do any of those things you cant be with them 24/7 they stop at friends, n go out
i also think if kids are not given a bit of resposibility every now n then they dont know how to handle it when they get that bit older

Um yeah OTT for sure IMO... Also 16 years old is NOT a child, perhaps that age is legally a child in some parts of the world but certainly not here. Wrap them in cotton wool and expect them to go out into the world with the skills they need to get on? Good grief!
At 16 we can have full time jobs and be responsible for ourselves. At 16 that is exactly what I was doing - holding down a full time job, paying rent, paying income tax, looking after myself.

Anyway back to the thread topic - of course it depends on the child. There isn't a legal age at which leaving them is allowed - so it's up to the parents to weigh up. Some are ready at a younger age than others. That is to be expected - we are all individuals, after all.

Anyone see the news story recently about a 14-yr-old minding his little brother and the parents getting a police caution for it though?

 

[otion]

nevermind do that. too danger to me

 

[miss cakes]

i think it really does depend on the child i was very mature for my age and at 8 i walked to n from school myself and my mum would leave me alone to go to the shop or whatever not all day long but half n hour like on the other hand i wouldnt leave my daughter alone still and shes 11 as in the past ve gone up the shop and left her for ten minutes and she starts to panic that im taking too long so for that reason i dont i think you as the parent know when they are ready and you feel comfortable x